or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Life with a Toddler › boys peeing outside in public
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

boys peeing outside in public - Page 3

post #41 of 153
i would be very uncomfortable with that for several reasons that have already been mentioned- my dd likes to go barefoot in the park. i'd rather she not run thru someone's pee, kid or dog. that's why there are no dogs allowed in our park.
it's innappropriate. privacy is important to us, and i would like it be to others too-i'm really not comfortable with my dd (or myself) seeing other peoples kid's peeing. if the kids are going into a secluded place, in the woods, behind a bush, that's better. i've had to do that with dd before, b/c of the (lack of) cleanliness in the public toilets. I really don't think it should be so casual and so encouraged. i sure don't let it rip on a tree any time i feel the urge. part of potty learning is learning to hang on to it for a minute so you can put it in a potty.
many times, i've gone into a store and bought something for a quarter so we could use the restrooms. i know it's not as convenient as the nearest tree but kids are really inconvenient too
post #42 of 153
It's not at all common for playgrounds to have restrooms, and the few that don't get cleaned very often and are often stinky and gross. Kids pee against trees here, I've seen moms hold their tots over the gutter in the street. It's also not common for people to use the bathroom at a restaurant that they're not eating at.

I occasionally see drunken men peeing in public, but the vast majority of adults in this country don't make it a habit to pee outside where they please, but it's perfectly acceptable for kids to pee outside if they need to. I don't have a problem with it, and my recently potty trained DS has peed against a tree or two.
post #43 of 153
I have a bit of a different perspective here -- having just returned from living in China where the cultural norm is EC, and all small children wear open pants with no diaper and pee/poop wherever they happen to be -- mostly outside, even in very crowded, completely paved areas (that's what the storm-drains are for!). My DD transitioned out of diapers during our year living there, and my biggest worry coming back to the US was how to make the switch from peeing whenever/wherever to finding an appropriate bathroom.

Frankly, I prefer that she not have wet pants, so whatever I can do to facilitate that, I do. Today she pooped in the parking lot outside of a store because they had "no public restroom" -- sorry, she's not going to be forced to go in her pants because I can't get her to a toilet. It wasn't reasonable for me to get her into the car to go find a toilet -- if it were me, I could've held it, she could not. (And yeah, I cleaned up the poo, just like a dog-owner does)

Just another perspective from a different culture -- it's not an inherently wrong thing to have children pee in a public place, it's just not our cultural norm. I think it's fine to be uncomfortable with it, decide where you feel comfortable taking your newly potty-trained child so that you have a toilet always available to you, but I wouldn't be in a hurry to make a fuss over another parent's decisions. The biggest problem with peeing outside is from a sanitary perspective -- but a couple of kids' bladders isn't a huge issue. Maybe parents should petition for a toilet at the park, seems odd to have a playground with no public restroom nearby. I'm sure the local businesses would appreciate it too.

And toddler girls can pee just fine in a squat, no dribbles here. I always carry tissue for needed wiping.
post #44 of 153
I potty trained my two oldest outside as it was summer and we lived in a home with a private backyard. It made it all so much easier to just let them run around nakkie for a couple weeks and it was done. Because of this they are very comfy being able to pee outside. I am okay with it as lonmg as they are discreet. (we live in an apartment complex) They are allowed to go in the backyard and pee against the chanlink fence or go down in the woods and find a tree or bush. They never pull thier pants down, I showed them how to be discreet and use the penis flap pocket on their underwear. And I KNOW they coudl just go inside but I don't liek them being unsupervised indoors and I also have a two year old and 3 month old plus I babysit for a 5 month old and 3 year old full time so I would rather NOT drag us all in for a ten second potty break, KWIM? No one has ever commented on them doing it as they are discreet.
post #45 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by NicaG View Post
I understand why mothers allow their kids to do this. It's easy. But I think it's inappropriate. It's disrespectful of everyone else who has to see it going on, smell it later, explain to their own kids why they're not allowed to do the same, etc. etc. And where do we draw the line? Can 5-year-olds do it? How about 6? How about older? How about adults? I know there are lots of things that little kids can do that become inappropriate at older ages....but I think it's appropriate to teach children to respect public property and other citizens' feelings, and that means using a toilet, not any tree you feel like.
Oh come ON. If moms who are at the park can't handle seeing a kid peeing I'd be wondering what's wrong with them and how they deal with their own children's bodily functions.

Also, smell it? Nobody here has said that their child whips it out and pees next to the slide, they said they take their kid to a tree. There is no WAY you're going to smell it. It's going to get soaked into the ground.

In the city I live in there are adolescents who go around peeing down slides to be "funny". They were eventually caught but I never smelled it when I was at the park and that was right ON the slides with grown 14 year old boys.
post #46 of 153
DD potty trained at 22 months, and we spend a lot of time at various parks in an urban setting. We have no car, so rely entirely on our feet and the bus to get around. She has peed on numerous trees and in bushes at parks around the city where there were no bathroom facilities and either no stores, or no stores with a bathroom nearby. I don't think it's a big deal at all, and I take her somewhere where she is mostly out of view. But I know (generally) how long she can hold it, and there's only one park in the city where we could walk home fast enough for her to hold it the whole way. I'd rather she pee on a tree at the park than in her pants as we're trying to hustle home. She doesn't do it for fun, and she's never once been confused about where an appropriate place to pee is- she knows we only pee outside if we can't get to a bathroom.
post #47 of 153
Thread Starter 
Thanks, everyone! I gather from the responses that I'm in the minority but not alone. And that my perspective might change once DD is potty learning. And that I might be in for a real shock if I ever have a boy!
post #48 of 153

Illegal?

I don't know about where all of you live, but in my city, it is illegal to urinate outside! Children/adults/anyone! I think that parks are a totally inappropriate pace to do this.

That said, I have a son who is still potty training, and I live out in the country (acreage) so when we are out in our OWN yard, I have no problem with him doing this, but I have taught him that in public places it is totally unacceptable. No questions.

I'm amazed that so many of you feel this is ok...how would you feel if one of the parents/passerby's int he park jsut went up to the tree and dropped their drawers? Not only is in indecent exposure in a public place, what about health issues? If every boy in the park pee'd on the tree, how would you feel if you child was running around playing and came up and started touching the tree/hugging the tree like kids do, knowing that many many others may have just pee'd on that tree?? It grosses me out just thinking about it.

Let me know what parks you go to so I know to avoid the trees there please
post #49 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabe View Post
So you do it too, then? What about at the supermarket, just drop your pants and wee outside the front door?
Um, no, but I'm an adult, I have a bigger bladder, a more highly developed ability to hold it, and lots more practice knowing when I need to go and finding the perfect place. Let's be serious here, we're talking about little kids who are just learning. Peeing on a tree when you're 2 or 3 does not translate into not knowing what a bathroom is for, or the value of privacy. When they get to the developmental stage of understanding and wanting privacy (somewhere around 3 or 4 years old) things change.

My dd (who just turned 4) used to LOVE to pee (and poop, honestly) outside, and now it doesn't even come up. I didn't let her do it on other people's property, or (as a rule) in public spaces, and the rule was that she not do it where people were likely to walk. She would go by the fence in our backyard, behind some bushes where we didn't generally run around and play. Of course there were a couple of emergency situations when I took her over by the trees to the back of the park and she peed in the grass because there was no bathroom.

I just don't see why, with some reasonable basic boundaries, this is a big deal. And the snippy sarcasm is totally uncalled for IMHO.
post #50 of 153
I don't have the answer, except that if you're some place where dogs are not allowed (presumably because they would pee everywhere), then I'd say no peeing.
post #51 of 153
I have two boys 7 and 3. I can't say that they have "never" gone outside but I personally find that this is a bit gross. I do not allow my sons to do this and we go home if they need to go. I also make sure that they use the potty before we go to the park to avoid this issue.

I have a neighbor by who is 6 and in 1st grade and still pees outside in his front lawn. At what point do we teach our children to be appropriate?

In some ways I think this is about parents being lazy.
post #52 of 153
I do not let my ds pee outside in public. We carry an empty plastic water bottle with a cap in our van and car for that purpose. If we are somewhere that he has to go and there's not a place, he stands in the van or car and pees into the bottle. No problem. We just empty at home or into a gutter, clean it out at home and put it back. When dd potty trains, I'm not sure what we'll do, but probably just carry our little potty in the car with us. No public pottying for us.
post #53 of 153
I see no problem with it. But then again, I come from a different culture - Russian, and while I don't remember EC all around, it seems to me more and more often that Russia has a more "relaxed" attitude towards things than the US. I get so many shocked looks when people see my naked 10-month old on the beach like I am naked myself or something. To me, that seems totally okay for a baby to be naked. I don't know if it's the nudity that shocks people or the slight possibility that he may pee/poop. We practice EC and I do offer him to pee in the grass/trees/bushes in public areas. My reasoning is that dogs are allowed to do that. WHy not babies or toddlers?
post #54 of 153
OK, this is what would happen if I didn't allow my son and daughter to occasionally pee on a tree when there is no public restroom available at the park.

1) child pitches a fit because they're not done playing and don't want to leave said park (might be the child who has to pee, might be the child who doesn't and therefore has no reason to need to suddenly leave, on a really bonus day it's both of them).

2) frantically stuff snacks and water bottles and random balls and other play items into my bag that we brought with us to the park

3) drag children (one whining "i have to pee NOW!" repeatedly, the other still having a tantrum over needing to leave the park) out of said park and down the street to look for a relatively non-disgusting public restroom

4) have my child pee all over him/herself and the floor while standing in line at Starbucks or wherever waiting for the key to the bathroom.

5) trying to keep one child's hands out of the garbage and the toilet while i strip down and clean up the child who has just peed on him/herself and pray i have a spare change of clothes in aforementioned stuffed full bag, the contents of which are now all over the floor of a public restroom

6) go spend $5 i don't really have on a coffee and 2 milks so i don't feel bad about using their public restroom, and because my kid pissed on their floor.

7)drag my tired, defeated, pregnant self and kids back to the park, where the other child promptly tells me that now *they* have to go to the bathroom


thanks, but i think we'll just pee behind a bush.

also, is it just me, or are public restrooms generally *skank* and an absolute last resort? my kids can't keep their hands off of stuff, especially the 2 yo, and a public restroom is like a nightmare of teeming germs that i can't keep him from touching. even if it looks relatively clean, the thought of how many people have likely used it since the last time it was properly cleaned is enough to encourage me to squat my kid next to a tree any day!
post #55 of 153

Disgusting and Unacceptable!!!!

My nephew does this constantly and I am beyond revolted by the behavior! What exactly is wrong with people that would make them consider this to be acceptable in some way?

1) Our bodies are private and, while we should not be ashamed of them, they should also not be shared, either physically or visually, with the general populace. This is known as Indecent Exposure and is a crime.

2) Stop contaminating our public spaces! Think about it! Ten minutes later some child goes running to pick up a ball and puts his hand on the same tree while bending down or a parent comes along and sits down with their back against the tree to watch their child play. Yuck!!!! This is public space thereby not yours but all of ours. If you are that dirty an individual and want to do that in your own yard, I'll just refrain from coming to your house.

3) Most businesses will allow a child to use their rest room without issue, even when that restroom is not considered public. Children are not a new invention and most individuals are aware that children may not have the bladder control of an adult. When in that situation, I simply approach the individual at the counter and politely ask if my daughter might utilize their restroom. In most cases they are happy to help and indicate the direction to their facilities. At the same time, we treat the opportunity as a privilege and respect our hosts by leaving their space clean. I can't tell you the pride I felt when, coming out of a bathroom stall, I found my 5yr old daughter picking up and wiping down the counter in a restaurant bathroom before washing her hands. Not to mention when I noticed that her actions went on to inspire those after us to pick up their dropped paper towels and wipe up their water drips.
post #56 of 153
I love watching my 22 month old pee pee in our yard. Something about that cute little hiney!!!

In the big picture, this is so not something I worry about. I trust that my son's, even though they have been allowed and encouraged to pee privately (and sometimes poop) outside, that they will make the right toileting choices as adults and not "whip it out" any ole' time.

I also don't think of baby or kid pee as being "nasty" or "smelly," but I'm pretty laid back about that kind of thing.
post #57 of 153
"OK, this is what would happen if I didn't allow my son and daughter to occasionally pee on a tree when there is no public restroom available at the park..."


Gee, welcome to parenthood! If someone told you it was easy, they were lying.
post #58 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by watermama05 View Post
DD potty trained at 22 months, and we spend a lot of time at various parks in an urban setting. We have no car, so rely entirely on our feet and the bus to get around. She has peed on numerous trees and in bushes at parks around the city where there were no bathroom facilities and either no stores, or no stores with a bathroom nearby. I don't think it's a big deal at all, and I take her somewhere where she is mostly out of view.

She doesn't do it for fun, and she's never once been confused about where an appropriate place to pee is- she knows we only pee outside if we can't get to a bathroom.
this is my situation exactly. no car and the parks around us dont have bathrooms. so if i didnt have my son pee behind trees and bushes, i would either have to put him back in diapers again even though he doesnt need them or want to wear them or i just couldnt take him to the park (which we go to every day).

im actually pretty surprised so many people are grossed out by this.
post #59 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrl34 View Post
"OK, this is what would happen if I didn't allow my son and daughter to occasionally pee on a tree when there is no public restroom available at the park..."


Gee, welcome to parenthood! If someone told you it was easy, they were lying.
i dont think her point was that parenthood should be easy, i think she's just trying to illustrate why some parents choose to let their child pee in a park once in awhile.
post #60 of 153
it's not about whether or not parenthood is easy or hard, it's about respecting my children enough to not inflict physical discomfort and emotional distress on them for no good reason. and believe me, this is a big reason why i EC'd both my kids. neither one of them pooped anywhere but in the toilet in our house after about 14 months of age, and they were both quite reliably able to hold their pee in for a reasonable amount of time by age 2. but there are just times when they can't - *especially* at the park where they're distracted and having fun - and i would *much* rather water a bush then put my child in a position where they are physically uncomfortable (whether it's from holding their pee in, or from having an accident), or emotionally distressed (whether that's from having to leaving the park, or from the upset/embarrassment that sometimes comes with having an accident).

I take my childrens' physical and emotional well-being very seriously, and I'm not going to needlessly put them in distress physically or emotionally because some other mom at the park is so darn uptight that the sight of a peeing toddler causes her to have palpitations. get over it. pee is sterile, and it's a natural bodily function.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Life with a Toddler
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Life with a Toddler › boys peeing outside in public