So when did you first hear of attachment parenting?

[mummyc]

Were you raised that way? Or find out about it and decided to go with your gut instincts and your heart? Or did you just go with the flow and didn't realise your way of parenting didn't have a name?

When I was pregnant, I was on a message board and there was a debate about a baby advice guru and someone pointed out Dr Sears in contrast, so I glanced his website. A little while later (I was about 12 weeks preg) I found "The Baby Book" in a bookstore, I liked what I saw and got it. It was revolutionary to me - what, I can't spoil my baby by holding her?? Marvellous! My sister reiterated that when she said she'd waited 39 years to have her son and she wasn't about to listen to anyone saying that she shouldn't hold him

Sadly, the voices of my many others (apart from DH, who's in agreement with me so far) prevailed and I'm still sad and angry that I spent the first few weeks afraid of holding DD too much I just wish I'd relaxed and cuddle without reservation her like I do now. It didn't help that I felt so down around that time

And to find you guys, it's great! Apart from DH, you guys are so understanding and fiercely loving your children.

Whew that post ended up being kinda cathartic!

[UltimateSerj]

i was lucky and was raised this way! i never new it had a name untill my dd1 was a few months old! for me it was just how you took care of a baby!

[Mummytwice]

I heard 'officially' about AP when I was about three months gone with my first from my sister, but had always planned to raise my children in the same style as my mom did- I wouldn't have called her AP, but an aware parent. if AP groups had been there when she was raising babies, she would have been in there like a dirty shirt! She was very tuned into her childrens needs. But I gotta say that having a community such as MDC and the local groups really makes it easier.

[GooeyRN]

I knew I didn't want to parent my kids the way I was parented. I was not a happy child. So I do the opposite. I later found out that was called AP parenting.

[becoming]

My parents were definitely not AP. In any way. They did CIO, thought they would spoil me if they held me, didn't breastfeed or babywear, etc. I had night terrors as a child, and I was still made to sleep in my own bed. Having said that, they really were great parents, and they are my best friends in the world now. They just weren't AP parents at all.

I found out about AP in November 2001. My oldest child was just a few weeks old. A girl named Aly who I posted with on another message board recommended these forums to me, and I've been here ever since.

[popbaby]

Welcome Mummyc!

I wasn't raised that way...my mum gave me up for adoption and I was in foster care for 6 weeks...then my mum came back and got me. I don't know my biological father. I wasn't breastfed, and I have no idea how I was handled for those first 6 weeks.

I came upon this site when I was around 6 months pregnant. That's when I heard about Dr. Sears...I am soooooooooooooo thankful for MDC...the mamas on here have given me the confidence to do many things I may not even have thought about if I didn't happen upon this site.

Because of MDC, I had a natural birth with a mid-wife, I've become a lactavist, we babywear, co-sleep, don't vaccinate and so on. I am forever grateful.

[ann_of_loxley]

Cor..far from raised that way! I was taken from my mother when I was 3 years old and was in and out of foster care for the rest of my adolesent life! In many homes far far from AP!

When I get pregnant, I had this idea of how it should be. Considering my own childhood, I wanted to make sure my baby never had to go through what I have been through!...

I was 'doing' 'ap' and I didnt even know it! lol.... I didnt hear about AP until my son was...oh er....9 months old I think! lmao... It was nice though because all I have to so id say 'ap' basically and find like minded mothers on the web - forums such as these! - and if I need any help along this path called 'parenting'...I know where to look and who to ask for what I feel would suit this family best!

[MilkTrance]

I first heard of it on a different message board, and I thought it was ridiculous. It sounded so difficult. And shouldn't babies be disciplined?

Once I had the baby, everything changed!

I wasn't raised AP. DH was, kind of. It shows in our personalities, and that's all I'm gonna say.

[jeliphish]

It just sorta felt like instinct after I had DD. It's funny though, before I was pregnant I was like, "breastfeeding past a year is gross, and I will NEVER let a baby sleep with us." Funny how that all sorta just goes away the moment you look into their breathtaking little eyes.
I formally heard about it on The Nest, which I can't even go to anymore after joining MDC
My best friend was just like me before she was pregnant too and now she is captain crunchy.
That's why I don't get worked up anymore about what women say before they have children...it all changes.

[Contrariety]

I never knew it had a name until well after DS was born. When thinking of how to raise my son, I looked to other cultures. I think Americans are SO far off kilter when it comes to parenting, and it is SO flippin' obvious that as a culture we're doing a bad job... all you have to do is visit the mall or other teenage hang out.

I'm an anthropologist. I study people. I knew that in other cultures, it wasn't nearly the same as it is here. Before I was even thinking about having kids, I knew that my own would sleep in my bed, go potty in a potty, breastfeed, ride in slings, etc.

AP parenting is evolutionarily sound, if you ask me. It's how babies are supposed to be raised. It just makes sense and feels soooooooo natural!

[jo15]

Yeah, had no idea what I was doing was called AP. I just did what seemed right.

[annettemarie]

Bumping over to parenting issues since this is a general parenting topic

[mama_ani]

I first heard of AP when my mom gave me The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. I was 18 and pregnant and had never heard of anyone with ideas about parenting like I had.
Ironically I was raised the polar opposite of AP and my mom was against most of what I did (do) with my kids. She thought the book was just practical medical type baby day-to-day advice. I had so much fun defending my practices by saying "But Mom the book you gave me says ... "

[chinaKat]

The year before my 1st pregnancy -- a pregnant friend had a copy of Sears' book... I picked it up and couldn't put it down. She gave me my own copy as a shower gift!

I found this site during my 1st pregnancy, a friend from another board pointed me here. The rest is history, I guess!

[SomedayMom]

I wasn't neccessarily raised AP, but it wasn't the opposite of it either. There were things like some CIO, formula feeding, and the occasional spanking, but they were overall great parents. I know I found out about AP long before I had children and it just sounded "right" to me. Most of it is natural.

[Arwyn]

I fell down this slippery slope via natural birth and breastfeeding, and studying as a doula and then aspiring midwife. I was nursed until age 2, and disciplined mostly gently, and received mostly respectful parenting, but no real hallmarks of what's known as "attachment parenting" nowadays.

I too feel that what we call "AP" is just biologically normal parenting. It's what our genetics tell us to expect as babies, and to offer as parents.

[MichelleAnnette]

I was definitely raised very AP, but my parents are divorced and I never had much of a relationship with my father. Still have a very close relationship with my mom and she sees her grandbaby almost daily.

[Jen_in_NH]

I honestly didn't really think about it until I landed here looking for some info on cloth diapering. And then I found a bunch of parents whose ideas look somewhat similar to mine

[hipmummy]

I was raised AP and could not think of any other way to raise a child. As a nanny I always wore my charges,laid down in bed with them as never cIO's them.

[Imogen]

I first heard of the term when I came to MDC... however, I realised that I was already practising some techniques that were considered AP before I'd discovered the term. Motivated by my need NOT to mirror my biological Mother's behaviour... I wanted to be a completely different parent than she ever was.


Peace