Anyone only having one child?

[Longhorn]

We started wanting 3, then it was 2 for awhile, and now we think we just want one. I will SAH once it is born until it goes into Kindergarten and the more we have the longer I have to stay home, which isnt a bad thing and DH salary is more than enough, but the extra money would be nice and we can pay the house off in a few years. Anyway, I wonder how many people are starting to make the decision to only have one. I understand the main argument is a sibling, but both my DH and I do not get along with our siblings at all. Thats not to say others dont either, but you get my point. DH grew up not getting everything he wanted or needed, and wants to be able to give our one child everything it needs. I kind of like the idea of devoting all my time and energy to one, while still being aware that there will be things I need to focus on that my one child would learn from a sibling...i.e. making sure it has playmates, etc.

[AlpineMama]

I wanted to have two, DH wanted to have one. We were both only children growing up; I hated it, he loved it. Then I was very sick with my pregnancy and we thought we couldn't do it again. I wanted to adopt; DH was on the fence, but we weren't really thinking about it since DS was just born. Then we had our halfway surprise and although we're pretty much sure we're done with him/her, we are both happy about welcoming the addition to our family. It feels more complete now.

[Organicavocado]

My husband wants several, but I keep telling him this is it. My sister and I are eight years apart and have nothing to do with each other, I dont know if I resent that or not... but I think if I had another child it would be far off in the future. I just cant imagine two in diapers, or two under five, etc.

Plus I just feel guilty, the whole overpopulation crap, yeah.. I think this is it.

[Longhorn]

I agree about the over-population comment. I think in todays world while it seems like the norm to have 2 or more, I think its kind of refreshing to have 1. We have many nieces and nephews that we love and we do alot of things for them that I'm afraid we wouldnt be able to if we had more than one. We are fairly well off and its nice to get to do things for DH's brother's and their families. Plus when it comes time for a car or college or braces, etc, I feel like I wont have to hesitate for a second about financing these things. I know that some people have no problem telling their kids they can buy their own car or pay for college but these are things we really aspire to do for our child and I'm just afraid that if we had two this might be compromised. I also would love to focus all my energy and attention to just one!

[earthgirl]

There was a thread on this just recently. But yes, to answer your question, DD will be our only one.

[annettemarie]

Moving to parenting issues.

[katheek77]

Yep. We have our own tribe here...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=652903

[rharr!]

As long as I can resist the urge to have a second.
I really like having only one child. Dd would like a sibling though...

[geek_the_girl]

Heh. We started out wanting two. We have gone back and forth a few times since dd was born and even ttc'd a a month or two here and there with no results. I really think we might just be done. I like having only one and there are too many things that we want to do that we cannot do with more than one. Plus I am getting older and have less patience I dont want to start over again.

[madskye]

I think we might be done. I had DD at 36, I'll be 39 this year...we did the whole "let's just see what happens" this past summer (no birthcontrol, but no concerted effort!) and no baby so...

We're both really happy with one. And at 2 and a half we can all do so much more together now. Ideally, I'd wait until she was in kindergarten to have a baby, but I'm already so old! My eggs!

I was an only child, too, until my mom remarried and had my sister when I was 14. I loved being an only, and used to feel sorry for my friends with sibs, as it seemed to my young mind like all they did was fight. (I know now that they had a lot of fun too!) I love my sister, and we are pretty close actually. My husband and I have discussed adoption as a possibility, too. It is nice to have a sibling, but we also have a close knit, fairly large extended family to be a part of our lives.

[karina5]

Yep, one for us. We love our little portable family. I think the just one kid thing is way underrated. Siblings *can* be great, or not.

Sometimes I meet a couple who seem genuinely happy with their one kid but feel really pressured to give their child a sibling, and it puzzles me. I mean, have more kids if you want them, that's fine. But what I'm talking about is that the sibling issue overshadows any other aspect of having another child.

We have a lot of friends with jsut one kid but they all live far away. Around here, one kid is pretty odd.

[Imogen]

Just the one for me too


Peace

[lisalou]

Just the one for us. We started out wanting two but several factors led to limiting it. Someone on the onlies thread said 3 is very cozy. And I agree.

[alicia622]

When we started our journey to parenting I had wanted many children. But, since it took us from 1994 to now to become parents (Gage's adoption was finalized last week) we hyave been rethinking this. We are older- I'm 40- and if we want another child it will be through the foster/adopt route, which took two years to get through last time. I don't know if I have the energy for that. Plus, the less children, the more we can afford to provide for the one we already have.

[boatbaby]

I love having an only!!! And it is by choice, I am young and healthy enough to conceive more, I just feel very complete with our family of three! If that's what in your heart, don't let anybody or society or what other families do pressure you into changing your mind. Do what makes you and your family happy.

[rharr!]

Originally Posted by lisalou

Someone on the onlies thread said 3 is very cozy. And I agree.

2 is pretty cozy too :

[*daciaperfect*]

DD is an only and I couldnt be happier! i was raised as an only, but was lonely since i never got to be around other kids. DP was raised as an only even though he does have siblings. he enjoed being an only. we, as in DP and I cant even imagine adding to our family. it feels so complete. im so glad there will NEVER be another child in our mix.

[lisalou]

Originally Posted by rharr!

2 is pretty cozy too :

This made me lol. Mainly b/c one of the advantages to having one is it's easier to have that 2 cozy time as well. (insert ducking smiley here)