NEVER MIND DON'T EVER READ ANYTHING I WRITE. I am too stupid for this world.
post #141 of 567
10/18/07 at 7:15pm
i am so thankful that i got to read that thread and read choice bits of it to dh before i had my very own ridiculous stinky TMI moment yesterday afternoon.
are you people ready for this? i was not ready for this.
i've never had a very well trained colon. my whole life i can't really remember pooping more than two or three times a week. my midwife was very concerned about this fact when i told her early in pregnancy. she insisted that i start using glycerin suppositories and do my best to poo every day and promised that i would thank her later.
oh dear lord how i wish i had listened to this wise woman.
yesterday afternoon i decided that i should probably use a suppository since i hadn't gone in a couple of days and i have a mw appt on thursday and need to give a good report. once the suppository kicked in and i sat on the toilet i knew there something "special" about this poo.
the pressure was so intense, i reached down to feel my perineum only to discover that i was indeed attempting to pass something the size of a grapefruit through my anus. there was a point when i panicked and thought for sure i was going to have to go to the emergency room because i was going to be split in half. there was absolutely no way something this large was going to come out of a hole that small!!
i started thinking through everything i've read about labor and prayed to god for mercy. i used deep breathing, walking, rocking, and some squatting. in time (about 30 minutes) my body took over and i absolutely had to push. it was the most intense feeling ever and i was sure i was being torn to bits but once it was out, i cried from relief.
the size of this poop was so incredible, i INSISTED that dh come and look. we both teared up at the sight, simultaneously proud and terrified at what my body had done. that poo was about 4.5 inches in diameter and almost two feet long. i made gloves out of plastic bags so that i could break it up into pieces small enough to flush (it took 5 flushes to get it all). it had to weigh at least 5 pounds and the first half was ROCK HARD.
needless to say, i waddled around sore for the rest of the day and most of this morning.
that, my friends, is hopefully as disgusting as this pregnancy will get.:
You OK? I love your posts-they make me laugh really hard. I can't imagine you writting anything stupid!!!!
But it sucked today because I dont have the energy to grocery shop so I sit here being hungry.