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Its stinky TMI - Page 11

post #201 of 567
This thread made me laugh so hard I wet my pants and was crying snot all over the place. Hubby thought something terrible had happened and I kept trying to tell him I was laughing but he was ready to call 911!!! I couldn't catch my breath to tell him to chill out.

This thread needs to be made into a book!!!
post #202 of 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlsizemore View Post
This thread made me laugh so hard I wet my pants and was crying snot all over the place. Hubby thought something terrible had happened and I kept trying to tell him I was laughing but he was ready to call 911!!! I couldn't catch my breath to tell him to chill out.

This thread needs to be made into a book!!!
Ah, the Dec 2007 DDC... bringing joy to the hearts of pregnant mamas, and fear to the hearts of their loved ones, one page of stink at a time.
post #203 of 567
Oooh! I had another fun urination experience this morning!!

So, dh and I did some "taxes" last night (heheheh....okay, that's stupid, but it's what he said one afternoon when we put cartoons on and locked the bedroom door and dd asked what we were doing, so now it's our favorite code word), and I think I have a bit of a varicosity, because my labia pretty much always feel like they are dragging around 5lb weights these days. Not fun. And even worse after sex.

So, we DTD and it was good (it always is at the time, it's only afterward that I regret it!), but I woke up this morning reeeeally sore!

So, I have this squishy gel ice pack, and I stuck it inside a sock and put it in my underwear while I was making breakfast. It felt great!

A little while later, I needed to pee, so I took the ice pack out, tossed the sock in the wash and put the gel pack back in the freezer, and went to the bathroom. And I was STUNNED when I unexpectedly started peeing FIRE!!!!

Ohmigosh, it was like molten urine--like mere degrees from boiling point!! And the only thing that my brain could process was the memory of my midwife's voice, reciting the questions she asks every visit.....specifically, the "Any itching, burning, or irritation while urinating?"

I had never considered the question in that light before....I always thought of "burning" more as "stinging". But now all I could think was "What is "boiling urine" a symptom of?" I was seriously ready to give her a call!


Fortunately, I calmed down and my ability to reason returned before I finished washing my hands. OF COURSE if you use an ice pack on a body part for several minutes, you are going to lower the temperature of the skin in that area. And then if you put hot liquid in contact with the cold skin, the hot liquid will feel even hotter than it really is!

That's why my mom wouldn't let us take hot baths after playing in the snow when we were little!

So yes, I'm a doofus, and no, my pee wasn't really boiling.

But ice packs are great for sore hoohaws!
post #204 of 567
Best Pee Story Ever.

ETA: Hey! I wrote that all in caps! Silly auto-formatting. Oh well, read it as if I wrote it all in caps, ok?
post #205 of 567


When I told dh, he just silently shook his head and looked at me with that "do I really want to procreate with this woman? and is it too late to change my mind?" look.

I'm starting to get used to that look....
post #206 of 567


That was a hilarious story, SheBear! If only because I've used an ice pack for my PSD the last few nights. I'll have to remember not to worry about molten lava temperature pee afterward!

My stinky contribution for the day- I have been farting like CRAZY lately! They're not actually stinky, though, just loud. Loud enough that our 6 y/o dachshund was sitting next to me and I let one rip. The dog (who drinks pee out of dd's potty chair, btw...so it's not like he's all prim and proper either! ) gave me the funniest look and bolted off. Like he was disgusted with me. It's bad when you're scaring away dogs that eat trash and poop with your farts!
post #207 of 567
Not stinky, just TMI.

A couple of pages back female ejaculation was brought up. Now I have known for a long time that I can do that, so has my husband, and he is super cool with that. Last night however, Niagra Falls was dry compared to me.... that isn't the worst part....oh this is sooooo embarassing...but I haveta say it......






Hubby got his beard soaked!!!! aaahhh


*runs and hides now*
post #208 of 567
Thread Starter 
i just wish I could have sex.

I am trying to want to!
post #209 of 567
Random thought...can you imagine how much worse this thread would be if it were the men who had the babies? They're smelly enough as it is--if they could get pregnant they'd turn into weapons of biological warfare.
post #210 of 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzardbits View Post
Hubby got his beard soaked!!!! aaahhh


*runs and hides now*
That is HILARIOUS.

And I agree, Jen, because I feel enough like a weapon of bio warfare. I can't imagine if my husband's stench level increased as dramatically as mine has.

And I feel you, transformed... lately even if I am in "the mood" it just seems like such a hassle, and after all my B-H contractions like crazy last week I am kind of nervous anyway.
post #211 of 567
Ok this is also not stinky-just TMI. My sex drive is huge lately. I keep having vivid sex dreams-and this morning I woke up after an amazing sex dream where I orgasmed!
post #212 of 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzardbits View Post
Not stinky, just TMI.

A couple of pages back female ejaculation was brought up. Now I have known for a long time that I can do that, so has my husband, and he is super cool with that. Last night however, Niagra Falls was dry compared to me.... that isn't the worst part....oh this is sooooo embarassing...but I haveta say it......






Hubby got his beard soaked!!!! aaahhh


*runs and hides now*
we're going to have to:
1. change the thread title to "just plain ol' TMI" soon!
2. have a new thread called "female ejaculator rollcall"!

post #213 of 567
Wow how'd this get to page 2?

I'd add some fun tmi, but really, mine is nothing new. I was dehydrated monday, didn't eat right tuesday, and woke in the wee hours with terrible gas pains. In the morning I did my usual hot tea and water routine, and lets just say the past 2 days have been craptastic! The worst part was getting stuck w/o TP and trying to get my 2.5 y/o to get me a new roll. Then he had to tell everyone I spoke with on the phone that he had to get the roll for me >.<
post #214 of 567
My husband and I frequently shower together - more often than we shower apart. It's almost never sexual in nature, and kind of more... cuddly and huggy in the water. We are dorky, sorry. Anyway, he knows my shower routine, and yesterday I had finished shampooing and conditioning and washing my face and soaping up and rinsing off. But I still had two things left to do. So I was just standing there in the water waiting for him to get out, and he was just standing there looking at me.

me - "Are you getting out now or what?"
him - "Oh, I guess... aren't you?"
me - "Not yet..."
him - "I thought I'd wait for you to get out. What do you have left to do?"
me - "Fart and pee."
him - (turns and exits shower immediately without another word)

Well... I KNEW I couldn't hold that fart in for much longer, and I was having a hard time emptying my bladder on the toilet, so I thought I'd take some MDC advice and pee standing up in the shower! I figured I'd just let loose once he stepped out, since he often steps out first!
post #215 of 567
laughup

Well, he asked...! Gosh, I adore you, MmeMuffin!
post #216 of 567


Shower farts are great, right? With the acoustics and all....

Almost as fun as metal chair farts.
post #217 of 567
Thread Starter 
today I went to the grocery store in my yoga pants without underwear. (I couldnt find any maternity in the laundry basket and I didnt feel like squeezing into my larger size cotton ones...)

What was I thinking? I am not sure but I think it looked like I wet my pants. And mabye I did, who knows these days. If I sneeze, I pee, and then theres the issue of discharge.

Dont go underwearless in cotton pants when 8 months pregnant
! Dont! :
post #218 of 567
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MmeMuffin View Post
so I thought I'd take some MDC advice and pee standing up in the shower! I figured I'd just let loose once he stepped out, since he often steps out first!
How come its so taboo to pee in the shower? Its a drain! I dont get it, really.

post #219 of 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
How come its so taboo to pee in the shower? Its a drain! I dont get it, really.

My husband usually rolls my eyes at my shower peeing and thinks it's kind of weird, but I tell him HE'S weird because peeing in the shower is AOK in my book. Generally, he would just be like "Okay then pee" and just stand so that I didn't pee on HIM.

However - things have changed. I posted about this early on in this thread... my pee has been SO SMELLY since getting pregnant that he can barely handle it. Gosh, I can barely handle it. IT'S HORRIFIC. If he walks into the bathroom after I've peed and flushed and washed my hands and hoped that the scent has died down, he nearly throws up from the smell. Even my cat - who once loved sniffing my pee - goes running in the other direction when I approach the toilet.
post #220 of 567
Hubby is having sympathy farts. No really, they're LETHAL. Does that mean it's a boy or a girl?
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