Oooh! I had another fun urination experience this morning!!
So, dh and I did some "taxes" last night (heheheh....okay, that's stupid, but it's what he said one afternoon when we put cartoons on and locked the bedroom door and dd asked what we were doing, so now it's our favorite code word), and I think I have a bit of a varicosity, because my labia pretty much always feel like they are dragging around 5lb weights these days. Not fun. And even worse after sex.
So, we DTD and it was good (it always is at the time, it's only afterward that I regret it!), but I woke up this morning reeeeally sore!
So, I have this squishy gel ice pack, and I stuck it inside a sock and put it in my underwear while I was making breakfast. It felt great!
A little while later, I needed to pee, so I took the ice pack out, tossed the sock in the wash and put the gel pack back in the freezer, and went to the bathroom. And I was STUNNED when I unexpectedly started peeing FIRE!!!!
Ohmigosh, it was like molten urine--like mere degrees from boiling point!! And the only thing that my brain could process was the memory of my midwife's voice, reciting the questions she asks every visit.....specifically, the "Any itching, burning, or irritation while urinating?"
I had never considered the question in that light before....I always thought of "burning" more as "stinging". But now all I could think was "What is "boiling urine" a symptom of?" I was seriously ready to give her a call!
Fortunately, I calmed down and my ability to reason returned before I finished washing my hands. OF COURSE if you use an ice pack on a body part for several minutes, you are going to lower the temperature of the skin in that area. And then if you put hot liquid in contact with the cold skin, the hot liquid will feel even hotter than it really is!
That's why my mom wouldn't let us take hot baths after playing in the snow when we were little!
So yes, I'm a doofus, and no, my pee wasn't really boiling.
But ice packs are great for sore hoohaws!