Midwest sperm bank? - Page 11

[KnittingTigers]

Just a brief response to Jenn- I did IUIs with washed sperm at home. I had a friend who was a nurse do them for me. Many people here have done home IUIs, though many others prefer to do them in a clinic. Good luck!

[stel]

Hi all, I'm chiming in on the donor ID release issue. I, like you Angela, carried my son so I can't/don't speak from the nonbio mom perspective. However, it was interesting to me to read that ID release has become less important to you since so far I've had the opposite experience. ID release was very important to my partner and me while TTC and we didn't go for a donor who seemed like a really perfect "match" for my partner b/c he was only a "maybe" ID release.  Yet now that I've had a child, it is MORE important to me (and equally important to my partner).  Now that he is here, I try to think of things from his perspective. The reality of our family is that he is totally surrounded by love and very connected to both his moms.  But we don't know what will be interesting or meaningful to him about his biology/genetics in the future. It might be a non-issue for him but having an ID release donor gives him the option and it is HIS option. I would never choose to take that away from him.  If we ever have a sibling and can't use the same sperm, at the very least it would be important that the sibling also gets ID release b/c otherwise you have inequality between the sibs. What if the older is totally psyched to make contact and the younger doesn't get that option? Also the information seems to be out there that while many aren't interested in contact, many others are. Knowing that might be the case for your child and knowing that your child will know that you knew and still chose to deny hir the option seems like it could cause unnecessary hurt.  And each of these children will likely know other donor conceived children who are interested and who are going to make contact someday and it might be really hard that their peers get to do this while they don't.  (Sorry if this is totally inarticulate!!!) Anyway thats my take on it and I would love to continue to read/participate in this discussion either on this thread or another.

[seraf]

Stel, I agree.  My main reason is health tho.  I never wanted to know about my own genetics so much as when I started having kids myself.  My son doesn't care at this point, and he may not when he's 18, but what about when his first child is born?  What about if he's 40 and diagnosed with something?  I just couldn't see saying, "Well, you can't find out because it would have cost $200 more.  (well, with him 9 years ago the price difference was 100, this baby it was closer to 300, so I split the difference.)"  There is inequity between my children, tho.  Having 1 KD and 1 frozen ID release.  The new baby also has frozen ID release.  The one with a KD seems marginally more interested in genetics and I honestly think it's because she has a face to put with it.

[differentfamily]

We used Midwest, and when they were shut down, I was a bit horrified. I have a hard time feeling like our son will be disappointed by our choice to go with a MWSB donor, who is a superdonor, though we didn't have any idea of this at the time. I know there will be some searching he does. And I do feel good that I am "friends" with a lot of the other moms of the donor siblings. I feel like when the times comes I at least have that for him. That and the long profile.

JennP. We live in Chicago too, and tho we did at home insems, we considered using the Chicago Women's Health Center. We would have if we hadn't had success so early on. Here is their link. I have heard a lot of good things about them in general. http://www.chicagowomenshealthcenter.org/

Good luck to you!!

[jennp85]

Yeh I think having the option to meet or be in contact with donor siblings could be really important for a child.  I will definitely look into that when the time comes and I've been on the DSR to see what donors and siblings are listed for The Sperm Bank of California.  (I've got a list of my top 5 from there and a handful of back ups.)

I was considering going through CWHC, that's where I go for my check ups and I got a referral from there for counseling.  I was close to contacting them when a friend emailed me info about Howard Brown's program and the next day someone told me they had great experience with them on this thread.  I've been trying to follow the path of synchronistic signs and that was enough for me!  The next info session with HB is July 16th and I'm signed up and starting charting ahead of time.  I'd be interested in doing IUIs at home but I don't think I have anyone to help me with that so I will have to go through a clinic.

stel & seraf

Thanks for chiming in.  It's nice to hear everyone's various perspectives on this issue.

This is barely about MWSB anymore, so I won't be offended if a new thread is started!  I don't know protocol or how forums really work, just figuring it out as I go.

[KnittingTigers]

Originally Posted by jennp85 

Yeh I think having the option to meet or be in contact with donor siblings could be really important for a child.  I will definitely look into that when the time comes and I've been on the DSR to see what donors and siblings are listed for The Sperm Bank of California.  (I've got a list of my top 5 from there and a handful of back ups.)

Also, don't forget that TSBC keeps its own DSR, so many families who participate in that may not also join the main DSR. I am pretty sure that TSBC will tell you if there are DSR participant families for any particular donor, so you may want to ask about that as you are making your decisions. Good luck!

[MoonWillow]

Please feel free to start a new thread so that this one can get back on topic.

Thanks 

[MChambers]

i'm new to all of this and just found out about MWSB how do you go about finding out how many children were conceived by one donor as I am pregnant with my second son from the same donor from MWSB

[radiohead2]

whats going on with Midwest Sperm bank? we have a son from a donor there and i was literally about to buy sperm through them five minutes ago for number 2. but this board has me worried now, joanne is gone and problems i'm gathering. i cant get on babycenter's group quick enough (not approved yet). can some one please tell me the gist of the issues?

thanks!

[justrose13]

rafdiohead, did you get your answers via babycenter?

[radiohead2]

Someone wrote that maybe the doctor was signing off on forms for donor physicals that had not actually been done or some thing. But I still have not be approved by the moderator/administrator to get into the private Midwest Group. Not sure why its taking so long.

[jennp85]

When I was considering MSB I read all the way through the posts on here. I was pretty disturbed by how certain donors were constantly being pushed on people.  I also tried to be added to the babycenter group and was denied it, at least they sent me a message.  I then joined the alternative group on there but decided against using MSB.  I was going to use The Sperm Bank of California.  They seem the most ethical and haven't been shut down by the FDA ever ;-)  Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for!

[2ezforyou]

We had been trying for so long to get pregnant that if it could swim, we'd take it! I LOVED Midwest and could care less how many offspring there are, ethics, etc. We were soooo picky in the beginning and used NY Cryos International. He had to have this or these color eyes or like this activity. And after 2 years, we switched to Midwest. Like I said at that point, if he was fertile, we wanted him!  We plan on using Midwest again in the coming months to buy the same donor sperm for our next child...just in case.

[wishing2be]

Hi all. Myself and my partner are TTC and are using MSB. Today I learned that they just reopened after 6 months do to "restructuring". When Steph (my wife) and I went 2 weeks ago to get paperwork, we met with a nice lady Vicki who stated that they just got a new director. It seems like most of the experiences on here have been pleasant ones so help ease my mind ladies. Are we going with the right place? It's the price and the location that seems so appealing, but now with only a week before insemination I'm second guessing. Ahh.

[justrose13]

I loved them but dealt with them before the restructure... i've always liked Vicki. I spoke to her since they reopened and I feel even better about their practices now than I did even then. good luck!

and welcome to the boards...

[2ezforyou]

Wishing2b - I second what Wehrli said regaring Vicki and Midwest. I feel certain you've made a great decision. Best of luck!

[RNJENI]

I am a member of the babycenter group, and have found that those "super fertile" donors are listed that way because they have a ton of kids, after having my little girl.

My daughter has over 8 siblings born in the past 12 months with donor #216. We have connected with kids that are 5 years old... so who knows how many are really out there. I wish I had known before I used him as I think that having so many kids in the Chicago metro area isn't really smart, much less what his total number out there is. I used him because of his profile and ethnic hertitage matched mine well. I was told he had kids, but I wish they had been honest and told me how many were pregnant at the same time.

For anyone who does have kids with #216 we have started a Sibling Group on Facebook . Each persons reason for joining is personal, but in the end it is for the kids. Since he is a closed donor, at least the kids will have "bio -siblings" they know about and when are older may be interested in being in touch with. Contact me at [e-mail] and I will connect you with our group.

[maceys mom]

I have a daughter who is now four year old from donor 197 what about you?

[maceys mom]

I have a four year old daughter by 197

[CodiChris]

I am so confused!  I have read all the post and was a little worried about using Midwest Sperm Bank but decided to go ahead and give it a shot.  So far I have requested a donor and was told he was not available.  When I chose another donor now I am told that he is not available.  Anybody have any suggestions?  My partner and I were super excited and now the excitement is slowly fading.  I have also tried to get on the BabyCenter Midwest Group and am still waiting for a reply.