I know y'all aren't doctors or anything, but I could use some input. My son is 3 months old and very high needs. I'm a SAHM living with my son, husband, dad, stepmother, and half-brothers (8 and 11). My son, Ryan, has to be held constantly. If I put him down, or even begin the motion of doing so, he frowns at me, then starts crying. He'll only sleep/nap if I'm laying in bed cuddled next to him. I can't really wear him because I have back problems, and can only even hold him standing for a few minutes before I have to sit down or put him down. He'll fall asleep in the car, but wakes up when it stops moving. Ditto the stroller.
On top of that, I feel like I should keep the house clean (nobody else helps-- my stepmother is a full-time student and just doesn't have the time). Even when I do manage to get anything done around the house, it gets messed up as soon as everyone gets home. There are also 3 dogs to take care of with no fenced-in yard. One almost made me drop Ryan because she yanked the leash. Two of the dogs are tiny and have to go out very frequently.
As if that weren't enough, my husband and I are fighting constantly. We can hardly stand to be around each other, but taking a break from each other isn't an option-- neither of us has anywhere to go. He refuses counseling. I don't know what to do. I cry myself to sleep every night. Ryan is the only thing that brings joy in my life anymore. I just kind of float through the day, unfeeling. I smile when Ryan smiles or when he's awake and we're playing, but that's it. I just feel numb, exhausted, and drained. I probably get about 500 calories a day total because I only eat when everyone's home and eat dinner. I've not had any feelings about hurting myself or my son. I took the test on the top of this forum and got a 58.
It's been like this for a while. At least a month. I never felt this way until about that time. I just feel so worn out. Nobody appreciates what I do all day, how hard it is to keep Ryan happy AND to try to do things around the house. Plus, when she gets home, my stepmother just LOVES to tell me that "Ryan has you trained" because I pick him up and comfort him when he cries (which is pretty much all the time). I've tried to explain that we're practicing AP and CIO is not an option, but I think she sees my age (21) as a reason to think I have no idea what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry this is so long. I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm afraid that if I go see a doctor about this, they'll want to prescribe me meds that would interfere with breastfeeding, and I couldn't give that up. It means too much to me. If you got through all of this, thank you. I guess I just need some opinions on whether this is just typical for a SAHM to be overwhelmed, or if this goes beyond that.
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On top of that, I feel like I should keep the house clean (nobody else helps-- my stepmother is a full-time student and just doesn't have the time). Even when I do manage to get anything done around the house, it gets messed up as soon as everyone gets home. There are also 3 dogs to take care of with no fenced-in yard. One almost made me drop Ryan because she yanked the leash. Two of the dogs are tiny and have to go out very frequently.
As if that weren't enough, my husband and I are fighting constantly. We can hardly stand to be around each other, but taking a break from each other isn't an option-- neither of us has anywhere to go. He refuses counseling. I don't know what to do. I cry myself to sleep every night. Ryan is the only thing that brings joy in my life anymore. I just kind of float through the day, unfeeling. I smile when Ryan smiles or when he's awake and we're playing, but that's it. I just feel numb, exhausted, and drained. I probably get about 500 calories a day total because I only eat when everyone's home and eat dinner. I've not had any feelings about hurting myself or my son. I took the test on the top of this forum and got a 58.
It's been like this for a while. At least a month. I never felt this way until about that time. I just feel so worn out. Nobody appreciates what I do all day, how hard it is to keep Ryan happy AND to try to do things around the house. Plus, when she gets home, my stepmother just LOVES to tell me that "Ryan has you trained" because I pick him up and comfort him when he cries (which is pretty much all the time). I've tried to explain that we're practicing AP and CIO is not an option, but I think she sees my age (21) as a reason to think I have no idea what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry this is so long. I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm afraid that if I go see a doctor about this, they'll want to prescribe me meds that would interfere with breastfeeding, and I couldn't give that up. It means too much to me. If you got through all of this, thank you. I guess I just need some opinions on whether this is just typical for a SAHM to be overwhelmed, or if this goes beyond that.
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