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Terrible housekeepers support group - Page 3

post #41 of 121
See, I feel a little decieved by my husband. He was always SUCH a neat freak when we were dating, but it turns out that really, he's just v. into appearances. So, he doesn't care at all if our house is messy unless someone is coming over, and then he thinks it should just look neat, not be neat. Plus, he seems to think that keeping hte house clean is largely my responsibility, while I feel it is largely his (yes, I know that's unfair, but I felt like it was our unspoken agreement for the entire time we lived in an apartment in California, and got reversed when we bought a house/had a child.)

I don't WANT a clean house badly enough to sacrifice my time for it. I don't care that much, until someone else is judging me. Then I care all sorts.
post #42 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by marybethorama View Post
Dh is!

I just hate, hate, hate cleaning and I am not good at maintaining/picking up. If someone picked up the junk lying around the house would not be that bad in terms of organization. I'm constantly decluttering and I have the bones of a good organization system.

But there's too much clutter (toys/paper/laundry/even trash I'm sorry to say) lying everywhere (especially on the floor) and by the time I clean it up, I'm too exhausted to tackle the wiping/mopping/scrubbing that needs to be done. So my house is dirty too.
Ok, this is me/us . Well, I should say I declutter but it never seems to make it out the door. Most of our basement area is filled with stuff to get rid of and I've already Freecycled a lot (no more, I want it out, not waiting for it to go). The kids just rescued a basket of videos and DVDs I was getting rid of next week. Next Saturday there is a community swap so I was going to bring a carload or two or more over . The week after is fall clean up so the rest will go there, then I will have room to start getting something done.

Right now, the kitchen surfaces are all covered, dishes, leftover things from lunch, blender from last night, books, papers from when I started to clean out a junk drawer, fliers, ect... The table is more of the same. We don't have much counter space, so it always looks worse than it is. The living room is covered in puzzle pieces, game pieces, toys, books, a couple of kids sitting on top of it and a big heap of magnets the kids dumped out. I just told DS they could watch a video after they pick it up. The computer area looks like someone took an office and dumped it out.

I won't go into detail about the rest of the house as I don't want to scare you too bad since it's not Halloween yet :. We just don't have room for much since we live in a smallish apartment and we have too much stuff.

I've been giving FlyLady another chance, taking what works and leave the rest since she has way more rooms listed than we have and some weeks don't even apply. I do wear crocs in the house all the time as my feet hurt if I don't. I never ever wear lace up shoes, unless you count my sneakers at the gym and I gotta make those last!

I'm just tired all the time of trying to stay on top of it all.
post #43 of 121
We have a dog who has a bit of a tinkling problem when he gets excited. Our other dog likes to eat things she should not be eating. I got home from work today and the tinkling dog peed from the front door to the back door, and the other dog ate an apple on the couch. So I had to wash the slipcover and sweep and mop the entire downstairs. Maybe they were trying to tell me something.... Whatever works. It got done.

We have a white linoleum kitchen floor. NOT GOOD with 2 black dogs who shed like crazy. It keeps me vacuuming though... too bad no matter how often I vacuum and mop, it still looks dirty. I would NEVER put in a white floor (the previous owner did it). I would get one that hides everything- like brown or gray.
post #44 of 121
I go in fits and spurts. I'll get a wild hair and cleancleanclean. Then life will get busy and the house slides back into chaos. Then one day I'll get motivated again. It's like yo-yo dieting but with cleaning instead.


However, when I do get motivated to clean, it usually results in a pretty good purging of things that have piled up and then, for a few days (weeks, even, sometimes) things stay clear. I've tried FlyLady and all I wind up with is an InBox full of emails. *sigh*


Lisa
post #45 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by maisiedotes View Post
We have a white linoleum kitchen floor. NOT GOOD with 2 black dogs who shed like crazy. It keeps me vacuuming though... too bad no matter how often I vacuum and mop, it still looks dirty. I would NEVER put in a white floor (the previous owner did it). I would get one that hides everything- like brown or gray.


That's what we did! We got this great charcoal-marbled linoleum and love it! I can't remember the last time I swept. : It always looks nice!
post #46 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chinese Pistache View Post
Overwhelmed here, too.

The clutter gets to me to the point that I don't want to tackle anything. It's like I figure the job is too big even before starting. And then, I waste a lot of time playing on the computer while I avoid what I should really be doing.

I'm not a bad cleaner or organizer actually. I can get things sparkling clean, but I seem to get a big burst of energy only ever once in a while, so most of the time, I'm wading through clutter.

I know I need some systems in place, with time management and storage.
Oh this is soooo me. If I don't immediately make the time to organize and put things away (which I don't, most of the time), I immediately feel overwhelmed and like I *CAN'T* do it.
post #47 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by malibusunny View Post

Is anyone else's house inexplicably dusty? I seriously do not get how other people keep their houses all dusted. I can dust with a vengence and two hours later, there is visible dust on every surface again. Pfft. Why bother?
YES! and we have two cats, so there's immediately cat hair on EVERY surface after I clean. It gets really REALLY overwhelming. I gotta start brushing the cats more often to try and head it off.

On the topic of decluttering... our neighborhood has a yearly garage sale, where it's all advertised for us and everything, and we just have to pay $1 to the people organizing it (to cover costs), so it's given us a definite AT LEAST once a year purging. Anything that goes into the garage sale does not come back in the house, it goes out to charity, so at least we get rid of some of our useless junk/old clothes every once in a while.
post #48 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by maisiedotes View Post
Count me in! I am also not a packrat but I think I am lazy. I get overwhelmed and don't even know where to START with cleaning. My DH feels the need to throw his clothes on the floor outside the bathroom (allegedly with the intention of putting it in the wash) and there it sits for days. He can't seem to bring his soda bottle/ beer bottle/ whatever to the sink. It sits on the coffee table till I move it. If I point it out to him he says "well, you left your tea cup on the counter the other day!" I just get frustrated because I feel like it is endless- I clean and clean and clean and it is immediately messy again. : I just want DH to pick up after himself and I will do the rest, but that is apparently asking too much.

ETA: It sounds like we may all be married to the same man....
OH MY GOD. That IS my husband! Exactly. He is all sorts of messy, but the ONE time he decides to clean something (or I leave something out ONCE), he is all over me like, "SEE? SEE?"

Our home would be ABSOLUTELY.FREAKING.IMMACULATE if he could just help out a tiny tiny bit - by, GOSH, putting his dirty clothes in the HAMPER, or, wow, putting his dishes in the SINK, or, um, putting TRASH into the TRASH CAN, or, what a concept - if the trash is already FULL, take it OUT instead of letting it pile up and leaving it for your wife. Is that so freaking hard?

Seriously... I have such a hard time keeping up with HIS messes that I can barely take care of my own. :

It wouldn't bother me HALF as much if I didn't work full-time and go to school part-time. Well, maybe not half, but it would certainly bother me LESS if I were at home all day.
post #49 of 121
I guess I belong here! I keep reading this forum for inspiration, & have actually gotten rid of a ton of stuff; but we have a tiny house, & evidently, when you pack in things really tightly, the rest sort of decompresses & fills up the space, even though there's actually less stuff... it's true! It's mostly mine, alas; & I really do use it all (I have lots of hobbies & interests), plus most of the stuff is books (I read a lot & plan to homeschool, plus live way out of town, so libraries are not real accessable). And my mom never cleaned (unless cramming things in closets counts), so I am currently reading "Home Comforts" to figure out what the heck you're supposed to do, & how to do it. W/an infant & a toddler though, it's a lot of just getting through the days right now, & I'll clean if it's a health hazard; laundry & dishes get washed, & that's about it.
post #50 of 121
Posting to subscribe, though I'm getting tired of reading about organizing/cleaning and want to just do it! I have spent a lot of time nursing at the keyboard, or just being so overwhelmed by the chaos that I can't decide where to start. I'm fighting perfectionist tendencies too. And staying up too late to get quiet alone time so I'm too tired to be efficient...

But I cross-stitched the following when my oldest daughter was growing inside me, and it continues to be one of the few things decorating our walls:
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow,
For babies grow up, I've learned, to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.
post #51 of 121
That's a cute poem!

I've been getting rid of a lot of stuff, not that it seems to be making any difference. I went through my bathroom yesterday and was able to put about 15 bottles in the recycling of all but gone shampoo, lotion, ect...(note, our bathroom is about the size of a closet, and not a big one, so it's a huge deal for me! Very precious space). Most bottles and jars had less than a teaspoon so I rinsed them all out and got rid of them! I also have a shopping bag of useable items to give away (things we didn't like or just never used). I can finally devote a shelf in the bathroom to wipes!!! I spent over an hour in DS's room and got rid of three big bags so far, one to sort through for collection and two for giving away. I'll probably spend another hour in there (and probably still won't be done! : )

We had a family meeting last night about the state of our house and I had a fun activity for the kids to show the importance of keeping things clean. I took an ice cream container and filled it half full of rice crispies. Then I put in a couple of brown rice organic ones and asked them to find them. It took a while; DS even gave up after a while as DD found the first one and there was too many. I said it can compare to our house. Sometimes there are good things inside that we can't find but there's so much junk to go through to get them that we spend all our time looking. I don't know if it hit home but I think it gave DH perspective! He's always looking for stuff.
post #52 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by bwylde View Post
We had a family meeting last night about the state of our house and I had a fun activity for the kids to show the importance of keeping things clean. I took an ice cream container and filled it half full of rice crispies. Then I put in a couple of brown rice organic ones and asked them to find them. It took a while; DS even gave up after a while as DD found the first one and there was too many. I said it can compare to our house. Sometimes there are good things inside that we can't find but there's so much junk to go through to get them that we spend all our time looking. I don't know if it hit home but I think it gave DH perspective! He's always looking for stuff.
Wow, that's really creative. Too bad it doesn't translate to husbands.

I swear, nothing gets through to him about cleaning.
post #53 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by filiadeluna View Post
OH MY GOD. That IS my husband! Exactly. He is all sorts of messy, but the ONE time he decides to clean something (or I leave something out ONCE), he is all over me like, "SEE? SEE?"

Our home would be ABSOLUTELY.FREAKING.IMMACULATE if he could just help out a tiny tiny bit - by, GOSH, putting his dirty clothes in the HAMPER, or, wow, putting his dishes in the SINK, or, um, putting TRASH into the TRASH CAN, or, what a concept - if the trash is already FULL, take it OUT instead of letting it pile up and leaving it for your wife. Is that so freaking hard?

Seriously... I have such a hard time keeping up with HIS messes that I can barely take care of my own. :

It wouldn't bother me HALF as much if I didn't work full-time and go to school part-time. Well, maybe not half, but it would certainly bother me LESS if I were at home all day.


I feel you, Luna. I finally got so fed up (keep in mind, we've only been living with each other a little over a year) that I've officially abdicated the basement and kitchen from my house. I will not lift a finger in either room except to clean up my own messes. DH is going NUTS not having any pots and pans to cook in, and spends pre-dinner time grumbling and doing dishes (because he refuses to LOAD THE DISHWASHER unless he NEEDS a pot , which makes me pretty happy in an awful kind of way :.

I wouldn't reccommend this to people, but it's saved my sanity (and our marriage) and gotten DH to help a little bit more in the OTHER rooms in the house (he's a rewards guy) so that I'll help him in the kitchen when he asks.
post #54 of 121
i wasn't always a terrible housekeeper, but i guess i am now. hubby is a slob, ds is just a messy kid, and i am a tired, nauseated pregnant lady. lol. there's no hope right now. we are looking for a house, and God willing, we'll be able to move before this baby is born.
we are currently living in a tiny one bedroom guest house. there is no dishwasher hookup, and no washer/dryer hookup. that means we always have massive amounts of dirty laundry and dishes everywhere. i haul the laundry off to the laundry mat about once a week, but the dishes just sit around until hubby has the time and inclination to wash them. i can't handle it right now. they make me hurl.
ds has too many toys. like WAY TOO MANY. i'm going to go through them again and get rid of some more, but i'm sort of at a loss about which ones to get rid of, since he actually likes and plays with most of them. he also likes to drag out everything at once...all the legos, all the wooden blocks, all the train set, a couple of puzzles. he won't even attempt to help pick them up, and there isn't anywhere to store some of them out of his reach.
i'm guilty of having too many craft supplies, although i use them, and would use them even more if i had a bit more room. we have yarn in baskets all over the house (the cats periodically dump them out and unravel yarn all over the place). i sell tie dye at craft shows and online, and there are clothing blanks, dyed garments, and dyeing supplies all over the house as well.
we also have probably too many pets, and they're messy, and a lot of extra work. we love them though, so i try not to resent them too much.
i am starting to get panicky. the holidays are coming up. that means more decorations and junk on top of everything else. we are also hopefully going to be moving in the next six months or so, but the prospect of packing and moving while very pregnant and caring for a toddler is not something i'm looking firward to. finally, if we do move, i'll have to unpack everything and get it all set up again, hopefully before the baby is born.ahhhh i could just scream!:
post #55 of 121
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by nitemarehippygirl View Post
i sell tie dye at craft shows and online, and there are clothing blanks, dyed garments, and dyeing supplies all over the house as well.
This is me, too! It's so common that if my 2yo sees a rubberband, he goes, "Here, Mommy. Tiedye stuff!"
post #56 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by pookel View Post
This is me, too! It's so common that if my 2yo sees a rubberband, he goes, "Here, Mommy. Tiedye stuff!"
lol. that's funny. i don't think my little guy knows what i'm doing, since i mostly do it when he isn't around, or is in another part of the house. i have pretty much taken over our one bathroom to tie dye in. that means if you happen to need to use the facilities while i'm doing a batch of stuff, you have to step around all my buckets, and wadded up paper towels, and over all the items that are sitting in baggies "batching" overnight. lol. not very company friendly. good thing we don't have much company, i guess. i used to do everything in the kitchen, but that was even worse.
post #57 of 121
I'm the single mom of a 4.5-year-old. I am either at work, playing with my son, or doing more freelance work after he goes to bed. (or, em, browsing mothering.com...) My house is a mess basically all the time.

To be honest, mostly I don't care. I have many important things to do to take care of us, and if it means I don't do the dishes from Mon to Thursday (my work week) then, well, no biggie. When I am not working or taking care of my son, that's MY time--and, basically, I am not gonna spend it cleaning. I don't even attempt to keep up to middle-class standards and that is fine with me.

On the other hand, my son is old enough now that I actually can do some cleaning on the weekend, and so very, very slowly I am getting rid of stuff -- which makes it a lot easier to maintain the rest of it. Honestly, it can literally take me weeks to, say, clean out the pantry, simply because I do it in several grabbed 15-minute intervals on Sats or Sundays (and because I let it go so long the mess is spectacular!).

Unfortunately, doing things like cleaning my home office just isn't very productive when my son is around, because his "help" makes far more mess than there was before...so that gets a pass through a couple of times a year, when my mom visits.

I really don't see the point in beating myself up about cleaning. For me--I know I do lots of other great things for my son and at my job. I work plenty--just not on my house . Someday I would love to hire a cleaning person but right now it's not in the budget--so this is the way it is.
post #58 of 121
Yeah, I belong here. My house is a crap hole. I am so overwhelmed! I could make excuses, but to what end? I don't feel any better about it and my house isn't any cleaner for it. I don't like to clean, I am a perfectionist so I don't even start because it will never be good enough, I'm lazy, I'm tired, I surf the internet too much, I start projects and get interrupted, my DH is out of town during the week and only home on weekends, I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 7 month old... See? I could go on making excuses, but I'm not cleaning the house, am I?

I am trying to focus on the positives. I put away a pile of towels that were sitting out for six months! Woo hoo! And I did the dishes today!

I feel a little motivated right now, and both DSs are asleep, so I'm going to go clean something.
post #59 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by twogreencars View Post
Gosh. Me too. Can I join you?
Me too! It's too overwhelming, and I'm also one with a DH that doesn't help much, yet has high expectations--a bad combination!
post #60 of 121
I just don't know what to do with stuff we need...like books! I know some would say just go through and get rid of as many as you can, but I have done that, I'm still doing it and it's not helping! I've given two big boxes to the library this week, I have about two laundry baskets to bring to the community swap Saturday and I still have books all over the place. I have been buying baskets so the kids can just shove them in there when they're done, but they always want the books out. They love to look at them/read them/play with them. I could probably give away every toy we own and they would not notice, but I can't take away their books! Plus being homeschoolers we may need them someday

I haven't been buying books, so that's a good thing. I have been taking more advantage of the library unless it's a *must have* book, but then I have all those books all over the place (and sometimes late fees when I can't round certain ones up in time....eeep!)
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