Husbands Report card

[IntuitiveJamie]

I am curious to see how you felt about your dh's help or lack thereof during your babymoon.

My dh was supposed to take off a whole week from work. We had this planned for some time. After the baby came is when I found out that he actually had no intention of staying home all week. In his defense I will say that he was very stressed about everything that was going on at work, and felt nervous about staying home. In the end he only took off 2 full days. I was not pleased. However he did go in in the evenings after ds1 was asleep, so it did not affect me too bad, except for one night when ds1 woke up...then it was a disaster! But still, I expected him home and it was disappointing.
But I have to say that he was an enormous help *most* the time. I could tell after only 2 days that he was getting tired of doing everything. I would say all in all he did 75% of the work while I did 25%. (I did just clean the bathrooms today on my 7th day PP....)

I give my dh a B-

[mommajb]

He thinks he did a good job, does that count?

I wonder what I'll think in retrospect. He has really been there for our older children but... He took on too many outside commitments this fall. 3x what we had discussed this spring to be exact. On top of that, I gave birth the day before his classes started and he is somewhat proud that after 5 births he has never had to cancel any classes. I will point out we only have one summer birthday.

Overall I know he has been busy and harried but I still wish he had done more or we had hired more help like we had discussed at one point. (cleaning and babysitters so I did not always have to take all five everywhere I went)

[mighty-mama]

My dh was been phenomonal..

The day of labor dh was working, and came right home after I called (works 2.2miles from home). I have to say that I mostly wear the pants at home, and I told him what to do in terms of ds and having him watched during labor. I think dh knows I think these situations out, and know what the best decision is.

During the hospital stay, I told him the best time to come and whatnot. Since we've come home, he's been great. He took off of work for 8 days. But since he works for a large retail store, as management, he has a "corporate" schedule. So he ended up taking off the 8 days, worked 1 day, was scheduled off another day, and worked a few days, and was off again for another 2 days. **he's also good with sneaking home a little early when I need him.

For awhile, he has done everything, and I can say, gets the same amount of sleep that I do. He never ever hesitates when I ask him to wake up and take the baby. Even if he's tired, he takes DS1 out and cooks and cleans. We've had a rough post-partum, since my back has been hurt, so he's really been taking care of everyone. I still get many foot rubs, and he never complains when I disappear for 10 min each day to have a nice, quiet hot shower, (usually this falls around dinner time, when everyone is up, agitated and cranky). He did good cleaning, but I'm anally clean, so I can't complain for his effort.

My only gripe would be a little co-sleeping issue. Dh is a great co-sleeper, but when he is sleeping on the couch w/ the baby, I could say, there are times that I feel like positions could be different, I wish he would think like me, and say "can the baby suffocate, or die this way".

Otherwise, I'd give him an A....

[beautiful_mama]

at times he gets a B+ for effort of things i *ask* him to do...but my dh literally only had 3 days off this week, one was sunday (labor day) then the first 2 days after baby. The times when he is home, I have had issues...like today and last night he has been online looking for cars instead of helping me. Yeah,....can you say nice wifey to royal b*tch in 2.3 seconds? Its highly irritating and he has heard about it a few times now.

Hopefully he gets the hint

[danaalex]

i don't think i can grade my Dh. some things he is awesome about and others not so much. i am pretty anal about house hold stuff, and it has become more and more apparent, with every child and every move more and more of it comes out LOL.

this time around we had sooo much help from friends that i really can't complain or praise too much. i got home on friday and got back in our routine right away. friends took the kids for the most part that week and the following 2 weeks though, starting on sunday with church. we had meals delivered for 2 weeks straight, and friends would pick up and drop off my kids for me mon- fri for school. plus, DH can work from home so, he was around to do that stuff too.

HE didn't start doing too much until babe was about 3-4 weeks old. he'll take the older kids OUT, for things like tennis, bike rides, soccer, apple picking and the like. with the babe he'll hold her from time to time, but that's about it and it's not that often.

i definitely cannot grade him. but i know for a fact that he does an amazing job with the kids and with helping me as much as he possibly can. he really is a great husband and father!!!!

[RachelS]

My dh did stay home with us for the frist week and that was wonderful! He is here to help me with our two year old and to help out during the night. I have actually had some time to clean and take care of other things while he cares for the children. So, in that respect he gets an A+. However.... on the emotional end of things... he is slacking! I know that he does not understand the emotional changes that I am going through and has not made things any easier for me. I am also going trhough a bit of ppd and I think that he doesn't know how to deal with me. However, with that said, I have to say that I can't completely expect him to understand being that he has never been through it because he is a man sooo.... overall... he gets a good soild B+. Is that fair?

[gizzyntaz]

A++

2.5 weeks off of work - house husband the whole time. Spent quality time with DS#1, fixed all meals to order, kept the house clean, washed diapers, entertained my friends...

He goes back to work tomorrow and I'm going to cry.

I think having him here for the first 2.5 weeks has made my experience this time extra special and enjoyable. I've been blissed out the whole time!

ETA: He freely admits that he has a newfound respect for what I do on a daily basis (or, what I did, pre-DS#2, cause you know things aren't going to be getting done for awhile...)...

[RachelS]

WOW gizzyntaz! I am jealous! If my computer wasn't having troubles with the smilies... I would have given your dh a 'bow down' smily!

[skydancer]

I would have to give mine a A-...

With consideration of extenuating circumstances.

He was at a point with his job where it was really tough to take time off, so he only took the day after I gave birth.

He IS wonderful about doing laundry (and with cloth diapers, that is HUGE!). He is also great about knowing when I have had very little sleep and have reached the end of my tolerance level for dealing with things. He lets me sleep in a bit on weekend mornings while he deals with the kids and handles breakfast too.

On the downside, he sometimes winds up the older kids to a point where I have to be the mean one who tells them to settle down. He also takes off for hours every Sunday to watch football with his buddy. I try not to hold that against him since he needs his time to, but sometimes it wears a little thin and I wish for football to finally be over.

[~Katie~]

Hmm, let's see. The first week, I would give him an A-. He didn't end up taking it off, but missed a few classes here and there to help me with things. He was good about making dinner and doing things around the house without being asked. Now at 4 weeks pp its another story. I think because the excitement has warn off and things are getting exhausting he's slacking on doing his share of the work around here, I have to get on him to clean, and he spends the majority of the day playing an online game or at class. Sometimes I feel like I have two children. So now I would say he's averaging a C- or D

[lactivist]

He took a week and a half off and did EVERYTHING. He took 6 weeks off with Eavan and was really sad he couldn't do it again. He gets A++++++++ for postpartum and for general husband stuff. He cooks, he cleans, he tells me I am beautiful, he takes care of the other kids etc. He isn't perfect because he has a bad attitude and is often grumpy and resentful but he is even working on that so I can't complain. I wish he could have taken more time off as I wasn't ready to be home with Eavan and Dahlia yet. He is a really great man and I am so grateful to have him as my husband.
Wendi

[IntuitiveJamie]

Skydancer- You made me realize I was a little hard on my dh, b/c he too did all the laundry for a couple of days, but that did include all the cloth diapers. I get so excited anytime he launders the diapers, but now we have double duty. So I bump dh up to a B+

[sunshine's mama]

The first week....B+

The past 2 weeks Dish....

Lactivist....I want your husband for a few hours...care to rent him out??? Top dollar......or my friend is a massage therapist...I'll trade ya!!!

[stefka]

Well, as a father, he gets beyond an A+. He is unbelievable. Nothing phases him with an infant, which I remember from DS's infancy but still amazes me. The 3 year old, on the other hand, can definitely throw him for a loop, but he's always ready to try again. Last night, I had to go to a school board meeting, and he was alone with both kiddos for almost 2 hours. I nursed right before I left and was only 10 minutes away, and told him to call me if DD got too fussy/ obviously hungry. He called when I was 2 min. from home after the meeting. By the time I walked in the door, though, he had calmed the baby, and DS was calmly parked in front of a video (fine with me, given the circumstances). I was so impressed, and he just shrugged it off as no big deal.

As a husband, well, we've had some issues... the emotional support stuff that others have mentioned. I think it will be better now that my parents are gone. He doesn't dislike them (I think), but he finds it hard to hang out with them, so in avoiding too much time with them over the past couple weeks, he was also avoiding me. And I, being the hormonal mess I am post-partum, haven't handled that so well.

[allbrightmama]

My dh rocks. He saved up his vacation time and took 2 weeks off. He did everything. I didn't even lift a finger to get myself a glass of water until he went back to work. Even now the house is cleaner than usual, the dishes and laundry are always done, the pantry and fridge are stocked and everyone is clean and fed and nurtured. I have no idea how he does it! All I can manage is keeping everyone fed while he is away.

The day after dd was born I was a wreck emotionally. Dh held me and told me he knew I would be okay because I was strong and beautiful just like our daughter. Those words turned me around completely. He has been so supportive and in tune with me and our children. I am so proud of him and completely in awe of the father he has become.

A+