family, greed, and registries (vent)

[maisiedotes]

My MIL called yesterday after checking out our registry and told me we need to register for more stuff. Our registry is SEVEN PAGES because when it was 5 pages people told us we didn't have enough on there. I don't need all that crap. I also don't want to register for a bunch of stuff we don't really want, get that stuff, and not get the stuff that is more important to us.

AND, as she did for my bridal shower, every time someone purchases something she calls me and tells me "oh, someone bought you your such-and-such!" I am not crazy about registering in the first place. My SIL (DH's sister) registered for thousands of dollars worth of stuff because she felt the need to have everything under the sun. STUFF is not important to me. I want what we need, some stuff that we don't need but just like, and that is it. I do not need more than the 4 pack-and-plays and 3 basinettes that we already have. I don't need yet another vibrating seat- we have 4 of those. UGH. Maybe I will set up a cloth diaper registry online to pacify her. Any suggestions for the best place to register for those?

[pixiesmommy]

I have a registry at www.thethingsiwant.com
You can go to ANY site and find things you like and add it to one list by using that site. So if you want a few bumgenius dipes, etc. you can go to that site and add those, then go on to target.com and add things from there, etc and it will all be on one registry.

You can tell her she can buy things from MY registry
No one has even looked at mine!

Manda

[MamaHippo]

Dont register for anything you dont want. Dont let them pressure you! Maybe are they worried that there isnt a large enough price range of things for people to get? I know if all that is on the registry is expensive stuff, it can be hard for people to gather other people together to pay for the pricier stuff.
I second the notion of using the site that lets you register for things from all over!

Originally Posted by pixiesmommy

You can tell her she can buy things from MY registry
No one has even looked at mine!

Manda

I have a registry too, and no one has even looked at ours either! And we really need some things off it! :
Dh's parents will likely ask us what we need AFTER the baby comes, like last time, and thats ok, but for my own sanity I'd much prefer to have everything ahead of time...

[MeepyCat]

I am way anti-junk in our household. If I can't think how we'd use it, or can't figure out where we'd put it, I don't want it.

A cloth diaper registry sounds like a good idea. Or you could tell her that you'd appreciate gift cards to whatever local baby stuff store you like, so that when you discover that you need something you haven't thought of, you can go out and get it. I agree that you should not register for things you do not want.

[BarefootinBrooklyn]

tell her if there are people who want to buy things and everything is already bought off the registry, that gift cards are most welcome. you know what you like, don't feel like you have to register for more.

[xelakann]

Hardly anyone bought anything from our registry either... and I only put things we really *needed*... I am anti-clutter too. I'd revise your registry to only the things you'd really like, need... it seems like most people probably won't buy things from it anyway.

On a side note, even though we didn't get a lot from our registry (and had to spend a lot of money on the stuff we needed), people did buy us things that were really helpful and thoughtful, and things I would have never even considered getting for myself and the baby.

[Curlita]

I'll second the suggestion NOT to register for anything you don't want -- it's a drag to get froofy things you don't really need and have that big bottle of Eucalan sit on the registry.

I also second the gift card suggestion. People cannot possibly be so hard up for things to get you that they can't just get a gift card instead.

I also recommend registering at Amazon. You can select stuff from a bunch of different sellers. I'm registered for nursing jammies, cloth diapers, snappis, the afore-mentioned Eucalan, cloth butt wipes... lots of fun stuff like that.

I'm really lucky... I have had people ask me straight out what I really need and have been able to say "These are the four things that I really need..." It's a little uncomfortable, as the whole shower thing can be (Hi, I'm pregnant, gimme presents! ... I always feel a little self conscious about it), but we both come away happy.

[sorteep]

don't forget , you can reg for things you will really need as baby gets older (booster car seat, ride on toys, potty chair etc.. sort of a reg to grow with... heck, we need a new booster car seat for our other car for Evan and I reg for that on this baby's reg......) HTH... I love the idea of the registry that draws from any and all sites.. great idea..

[GinaRae]

Oy I know how frustrating that is.

Flip side: I was afraid that I would get a ton of crud I didn't want either, but it looks like I am getting nothing at all.

MIL isn't interested in getting me a guest list to invite people for a shower or meet n greet, so besides a couple of friends and maybe two family members in NY whom might buy something after the baby is born, I am not getting anything. The wind is out of my sails about any kind of festivities around the baby, and I am grumpy.

So I get my wish - I won't have tons of stuff around this tiny house. But then I realize that's even harder to swallow than a bunch of crap I guess. No one cares.

Luckily moms from our DDC have shown they care emotionally and a couple have offered items I need. For that I am very blessed!

Okay, here's what I shouldn't be saying, so forgive me. I am just grumpy with the people in my life! At least you have people interested in your birth and you can give away or sell what you don't want! Find the cheery side if you can. Easier said than done, I know!

[De-lovely]

www.nopins4baby.com has a registry I believe and Dina is amazing to work with!

[cheeseRjedi]

I set up a registry at myregistry.com which lets you pick what you want from any website. It's pretty awesome but no one has bought anything yet . We have pretty much everything we need so I just put on some diaper stuff that I'd like to have and a few things for DD should anyone want to buy her anything. I hope people do b/c if everyone just gets stuff for the baby (who really doesn't care about presents) then DD will feel left out.

Gift cards are always good. I used Target and restaurant gift cards the fastest last time .

[AKmomof2+1inNov]

Might not be as nice as working with a WAHM diaper site, but amazon has cloth diapers from other sellers. And you can put anything on your registry that any other seller has available-like organic baby clothes, etc.

[Isaac'sMa]

I am anti-stuff too and am always annoyed when people say stuff like "you need more on your registry" etc. But, depending on where you're registered you might be able to return stuff you don't want for store credit (or that item you see as essential) as long as it's on your registry. You never know what crazy things people will want to buy you or your Great Aunt Sally will think you can't live without, so why not register for it? Write a nice thank you note and promptly return it? If you return for store credit, you'll be able to buy stuff down the line too.

But yeah, I hear ya'. It's annoying. Actually, the whole process is.

[maisiedotes]

Ooh- I would love some Target gift cards. I could buy nursing PJ's, storage stuff, bras, household items (I guess that kinda defeats the purpose of it since I may not spend it on the baby but I won't tell). Thank you for the suggestions! I am going to check out the websites mentioned!

[Beckula]

I'm in the same boat as GinaRae. I'm getting a big fat load of nothing and since my DS was born in June, onesies are the only thing I can use that used to be his. His car seat is outdated and unsafe, our strollers were all cheap and are pretty much unusable now, and I threw the crappy swing that was missing parts when we were given it out so we basically have nothing. Thank goodness we can use the convertable car seat of Davey's and get his other car seat from my parents. I'm actually kind of throwing a pity party for myself because I feel like no one cares that there is a baby coming so soon. My DH isn't employed right now and neither am I so it doesn't look like I'll be buying baby stuff we need anytime soon since all our $ is going to paying bills and keeping our apartment.:

[*GreenMama*]

You can also make a wishlist at wishlist.com and thats for EVERY website! I totally agree with not getting EVERYTHING under the sun but its nice when you can register for things you really do want or need, like giftcards, etc.

Yes, go register for Cloth Diapers... Put some Hanna Andersson zippers on there.... Maybe a new sling or wrap? Anyhoo, all of those have a great resale value.

What about registering for some books to read to the little one?

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by Beckula

I'm in the same boat as GinaRae. I'm getting a big fat load of nothing and since my DS was born in June, onesies are the only thing I can use that used to be his. His car seat is outdated and unsafe, our strollers were all cheap and are pretty much unusable now, and I threw the crappy swing that was missing parts when we were given it out so we basically have nothing. Thank goodness we can use the convertable car seat of Davey's and get his other car seat from my parents. I'm actually kind of throwing a pity party for myself because I feel like no one cares that there is a baby coming so soon. My DH isn't employed right now and neither am I so it doesn't look like I'll be buying baby stuff we need anytime soon since all our $ is going to paying bills and keeping our apartment.:

In all my snivelling I forget sometimes how it could be!

Do you know what gender you're having?

[melissakc]

OMG, register for books! I am so glad that my colleagues at work bought me a huge stack of books for my baby shower for DD. I was a teacher then and they all had excellent taste in books. They were all too old for DD when she was born but now I am LOVING the fact that I can pull out a new hardback picture book for her each week and it's free! Books really add up.

You can set up a wish list really easily on Amazon. If you would like some suggestions, I can help you out and I'm sure others can too.

Books are one thing I don't feel bad being greedy for!

[Da WIC Lady]

On the one hand, I'm kinda glad nobody is really asking about registries or showers or that stuff. I'm about to move a few months after the baby is born, so it would be just more stuff to pack. On the other hand, I'm having a baby here! Beckula, if you qualify for medicaid, you may be able to get a car seat for free. Ask at the local health department. I don't know where you live, but most states have some sort of free car seat program.

Anna

[maisiedotes]

It is funny- as far as I know, the girls at work are giving me a shower and my family is not (we had originally decided to just do a "meet the baby" party) but now I am like OH MY CRAP, I need the stuff. I need the boppy and the sposies for the first few weeks, and the clothes and the yadda yadda yadda. But the girls at work apparently bought stuff NOT on the registry. So I am going to have my own pity party. DH came home from work the other day and said "Ker, I hate to tell you but you are going to be getting alot of pink stuff at your shower." :Puke (sorry- not a fan of pink). I keep feeling like I need to go out and buy the stuff that I really feel like I need right now so I have it when the baby is born but dang, I can't afford it all! Why the heck did I register if nobody is going to look at the registry? aaarrggghhhh.

The good news is, I went to the local kids consignment shop and they have TONS of slings, wraps, gear, co-sleepers, boppies, etc. I would prefer new on some of that stuff though... the dang boppy cover I want is as much as the boppy!