Need to vent

[mighty-mama]

I love my children............But I want them to leave me alone...

Is it possible, I can't have them touching me 24/7.. I'm getting to the point where I am invisioning pushing away their little hands to get them off me...

It's not bad enough that the baby wants to be held all the time, and I hate it... Can someone tell him, I don't want to hold him while going to the bathroom, or while doing dishes. I see so many moms who love to sling their babies, I don't.. I need a break......

I nurse all the time, and If I'm not nursing the baby is usually crying.. 95% of the time while I'm nursing, my 2.5 yr old is by my side as we like to cuddle on the couch......... Fine, but can he get his hands out of my shirt.. Since I had to wean DS1 for chemo, his comfort went from breastfeeding to having his hand on my breast............ I can't freakin stand it... I know it's his comfort, but I want to bite his little hand off. There is nothing more annoying then latching on a baby, and having a toddler with his hands on your breast, especially when god knows where they've been. I hate nursing, and having a toddler who has his hands on the top of my breast, so it distracts the nurser...

And I'm in so much pain... I'm sick of my back/neck problems.. I can't sit for hrs on end nursing.. I currently cannot move my head. I'm taking pain pills, and applying bengay... And probably 75% of the time, I have either a heat or ice pack applied to my neck, which is tied on by a bandana..

II'm losing my freakin mind. Please share your stories if you have them.. I hope I'm not the only one overwhelmed

[kimilia]

While I dont feel the same way as you do right now, I do remember feeling that way when I lived in my one bedroom apartment with my husband, Laila and I sharing a bed and me squished between them both. My daughter would be laying across me and I would be pressed against my snoring husband. I would cry because I just wanted my own space for even 5 minutes. Laila never stopped crying for 3 months. I thought I would go insane! I truly feel for you.

I think you live pretty close by to me...in nj right? If you ever need a break, let me know and Ill come over and double sling. Then you could take a bath or cook or just read 10 pages in your book without being....grabbed.

[*jeanine*]

i can't stand dd1's whining. (guess what she's doing right now?) i know it's hard to be 2 1/2 and have a baby sister, but WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!!!!!

it will get easier......right?

[lactivist]

I really feel for you. I get touched out easily and sometimes I just want to toss everyone away and run to a seclusion chamber. I am really fortunate that Dahlia isn't high needs. I don't know how I ended up with her since all my others were high needs but I am thankful. Bed time is really rough for me. It is right in the middle of Dahlia's cluster nursings and her fussy time and then Eavan has to have me lie down with him. So I end up nursing and nursing and then handing her off and going to Eavan while I listen to her scream intermittently and then get him down and go back to a couple more hours of nursing. By the time they both go to bed I am a zombie. My 9yo Zaid loves to hold Dahlia but we have to do it secretly because if Eavan sees him he will try to grab Dahlia out of his hands. Yesterday Eavan basically tackled Zaid and Dahlia trying to wrench her away from him. :
Eavan has taken up whining and screaming like it is his career. I am yelling way too much and then feel guilty. Anyhoo! I feel you. I hope it gets much easier for you soon. I have a lot of chronic pain too and that just makes everything that much harder. I wish we lived closer so we could trade off and help each other.
Wendi

[IntuitiveJamie]

I just wanted to say that I think you are amazing! I remember you said that your dh is working 14 hour days. Let me tell you, if my dh was working that much right now I would be FREAKING out!!!! I also know you are nursing with just one breast, so it must be like double time on your one boob. Personally I think you have a lot on your plate. Not to mention all the pain you are in. So please, be kind to yourself and know you are doing the best you can. And if at all possible, try your hardest to remember, this part (newborn-first few months) is short and will go by, it won't last forever.

[mighty-mama]

thanks mamas... Luckily the drama is calm right now, so I'm calm.. Dh had to get up for work this am @ 4:30am, and of course both boys woke up to: I hate starting the day off like this..

**also dh is back to working his standard 10hr shifts, which stinks.. Thankfully the 14hr days only lasted 5 days, or he would be slinging a child at work

thanks again for letting me vent. I feel like my real world girlfriends, don't get it.. Even though only 1 has a child (which is in daycare 10hrs a day.. They don't understand what it's like... And everyone else in my life excepts me to CIO and formula feed.. So you are all my angels..

thanks..

[greenmagick]

I get the touched out feeling. Cian is a good nurser, and nothing like Lilah was when she was little (very high needs) but between the two of them nursing, I get tired of it. Lilah was down to nursing at nap and night, but now is nursing a lot. She isnt really eating any solid food and even her poop has changed back to mostly bf poop, so I am always changing one of them and washing diapers. I am also dealing with thrush right now, so by the end of the night, I am sore.

I cant complain too much though as I am very lucky that Cian is a good sleeper most of the time. Lilah was always horrible, and again, I am very thankful that just in the past several months, she has turned into a good sleeper too! (They are actually both asleep right now!)

I just keep reminding myself how frustrateed and insane I was when Lilah was a newborn, and how short it really lasted.

[mighty-mama]

I really try to look at the positives of having "high needs" children.. My boys are different in ways, but similair. And the common bond is there "craving" to be w/ their mama.. And that's not a bad thing? As taxing as it is, meeting their needs, I know I'm really creating the path way for them to be loving, confident, caring men... And I do see the difference w/ my oldest, Noah, he's really a sweet, loving boy........ I guess I need to keep thinking of the rewards in them down the road.

[sunshine's mama]

I am super touched out right now and dd1 just hovers....not actually on me or next to me but kinda like that finger game when we were kids..."I'm not touching you.....but I'm not touching you...."



but hey, look at all the FUN stuff we can do one handed now???

I had more but there is a baby sound asleep on my chest as I sit up, semi-reclined on this sofa I seem to live on these days, all froggied up, sweet smelling and I am treasuring every moment, even though I am so incredibly touched out bc it's going by faster than I can blink....

DD1 was jsut starting to move out of the super high need state and is right back in there...

I hope to get back on again tonight to check in and such.....more properly......

[sophiekat]

i'm so glad i'm not the only one!
i feel like i'm just in crisis management -- dealing with whichever one is screaming louder : and hating that dh is back on call 2 nights a week in addition to working full time :
my house is a disaster, i feel like a fat blob and all i want is to have a long hot shower and 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep with no one snoring, crying, pawing at me or nursing!
sigh. i realize things will eventually calm down, i just wish i knew WHEN!

[beemama]

nak

touched out, too.

[KarmaJoy]

Yes, for the first time, I feel like a bad mama. I screamed at my dd yesterday and slapped her hand (which I have never done) when she hit the baby as hard as she could in the face. I put her bed an hour early (when it happened) and basically yelled at her for the next two hours becuase she wouldn't go down. The work is exhasting. The guilt is overwhelming.

[Daisie125]

Oh boy, do I feel for you! The baby doesn't bother me at all... I'll hold her or sling her all day... but my 18 month old. OMG. SERIOUSLY. Like do you HAVE to ask to nurse 47 billion times a day?! And he asks OVER AND OVER AND OVER (his "asking" is pointing at my boob and saying "THIS?!") the constant repetitive SCREECHING of "this?!" is making me want to jump out the window and run away. And it doesn't matter if I nurse him for 5 minutes or three hours. As SOON as we are done he is asking again. Shoot.Me.Now.

I've started limiting him. (Which of course just pisses him off even more) He can nurse before and after each nap, in the morning and before bed. That's 6 times a day. Any more than that I start wishing I had weaned him during the pregnancy when he forgot how to nurse for a few days.

*sigh*

Oh, and he can stop trying to climb on top of his sister while she's nursing. It's not helping his case any. :

[stefka]

Ah, yes, the joy of highly tactile kids. I now have two of them as well. So far I'm doing alright, but my parents were here until this weekend, so now there are 2 fewer sets of adult arms to do all that touching! I was totally touched out in late pregnancy, since the larger I got, the clingier my 3 year old became. And I've had a couple of mornings where both needed to be in the rocking chair with me and I felt like screaming for air. I'd offer hugs to all of us, but that would involve more touching, so how about just pleasant dreams of a bath, alone, in an empty house.

[sophiekat]

Originally Posted by stefka

I'd offer hugs to all of us, but that would involve more touching, so how about just pleasant dreams of a bath, alone, in an empty house.

[sunshine's mama]

Lovin that dream....which is all it is since I can't bathe or pee alone...

but what a dream.......

[maylea_moon]

Oh you're not alone. My 3 year old has been driving me absolutely insane some days. Anytime Lila makes any noise at all he's running to me and yelling, "MOMMY, SHE NEEDS YOUR BOOBS! SHE NEEDS YOUR BOOBS, SHE NEEEDDSSS YOUUUURRR BOOOBBBBSSSSS!!!!" and he wants to be in her face 24/7, can't understand why he can't just pick her up whenever he wants, etc...

He's also going through that phase where now all of a sudden he likes to pretend HE'S a baby and won't listen to me, just tells me, "i'm a baby momma" :

i know i'll look back on it and laugh but right now it's making me pretty frazzled.

[Hazelnut]

Yes, I enjoy still nursing my 28 month-old, but not at the same time as the baby. Something about nursing both at the same time is like nails on a chalk board for me. And he and my 4yo both tend to come up cooing "BABY ROMAN!" when I'm nursing and literally climb on us both. I hate to get mad b/c sometimes they are sincerely trying to be gentle but it drives me nuts. :

[Hazelnut]

I'd offer hugs to all of us, but that would involve more touching, so how about just pleasant dreams of a bath, alone, in an empty house.

tee hee.