Anyone else wondering how the new baby will fit in the family bed?

[Beppie]

My toddler cuddles with me all night long (as she has since she was born in July 2005), and I have no idea what we're going to do in December when I have a nursing newborn who needs to take her place!

We have a toddler bed for dd#1, but of course she's never used it. I don't blame her, it's fun to cuddle with mommy. I just don't know what will happen when she needs to be displaced. I suppose I can keep her behind me (sleeping against my back while dd#2 is nursing), just not sure how well that will go over with her. Especially since she moves a lot, and if she's between dh and I then she will most likely be sticking her feet into him all night long, and I know he doesn't like that!

Anyone else in this situation? What do you think you'll do about it? Or anyone else had to deal with this before with previous babies? Any ideas?

[frogleymom]

DD#1 was born in May of 05... we didn't really co-sleep with her at first, but started when she was about 7 months old. She almost always slept between DH and I, and we moved her to only cuddle with DH just before DD#2 was born in May of 06.

Since we're currently living with my parents, and all of us are in one room, DD#1 is on a crib matress on the floor, and DD#2 is in a side-carred crib. When the new baby comes, the plan is to move DD#2 to the floor with her sister (hopefully on another crib matress) and baby will take the side-car.

Our girls are still always welcome in our bed anytime they need, but for the most part we've discovered that we all sleep better when we have our space. For example, DD#2 will continue to nurse for hours during the night, with no breaks at all, if she's right next to me... if she's in her side-car, she'll sleep the whole night and crawl to me in the morning (usually about 5am) to get her morning milk. DD#1 usually climbs into our bed during the night about half the time. DH just cuddles with her, and I don't usually even know she's there until I get up to shower in the morning.

We're also looking into buying a house... if that goes through, we'll start (slowly!) transitioning the girls to their own room (still together, and still on crib matresses on the floor). We'll keep the side-carred crib for the new baby... I really wish I'd discovered that sooner!!!

Emily

[mama2rey]

We have a crib that we are using as a sidecar next to the bed. I also wonder-we have animals that sleep with us-mainly a cat and my dog-I don't want to displace them when baby comes.

[Belleweather]

We are probably buying ourselves a King Sized Mattress for our Christmas present. DS sleeps in his crib in his own room right now... but I'm really not counting on his staying there once the baby comes. I think he'll want to be in with the rest of us. And considering that babies can take up WAY more space that you'd think the laws of physics would ever allow... we'll probably be smushed anyway. We have a mini pack'n'play thingie that we'll set up next to the bed, but DS hardly slept in it, and I can't imagine new baby will be any different.

[bumblebeej]

I'm worried sick about this. I'm seriously considering getting that Arms Reach for the new baby. That way Lili can stay in her bed or our bed, just like she does now.

[Diva Mama]

My arms reach cosleeper is useless except as a changing station next to the bed where we keep supplies. I want a king size bed so we can all pile in. For the past couple months, tho not every night, hubby winds up in the other room because he snores and I'm already waking up every half hour, I don't need his snoring to keep me awake, and he's tired of me kicking him lol So I might be fine with me n the two babes in bed


I'm wondering what's gonna happen when I have to switch sides to nurse- I don't want baby next to DS because he flails in bed at night. Hmmm.

[laurap]

We have a king size bed, but between hubby and dd there is hardly any room left. We also have her crib pushed up against the bed, but of course as mentioned by someone else, that is not the same as sleeping between mommy and daddy. My goal for dd2 is to have her sleep next to me in the crib, and keep dd1 between us. I can't stand the thought of her having any type of negative association with the birth of her sister. We will see if it works!

[starry_mama]

When we had Julian, we sidecarred a crib to our bed, and Danny slept there and Julian slept in between DH and me. That way is went adult, kid, adult, kid.

Now we have 2 twin beds in our second bedroom, and sometimes the kids sleep in there, sometimes with us, its different every night. And we never wake up the same way we went to bed! We still have the crib sidecarred, because our bed is only a Queen and if both kids want to sleep with us, thats the only way we fit.

I'm guessing when the baby comes they will just join in the chaos! Well, obvisouly, they will ALWAYS sleep with me, not in the other room (at least not for awhile!).

[crsta33]

I was really worried about this when we added number 2, but it worked out really well. DD slept against my back and the baby on the other side and sometimes in his cradle. For switching sides during nursing, I either stayed on one side and just leaned over for the "top" boob, or I rolled over with the baby and rolled back after he was done (I was never able to sleep while nursing ds for some odd reason).

Now we are adding number 3 and while both kids are doing well with sleeping at least part time in their beds in our room, they do usually end up in my big bed in the wee hours and we all nap together. They sleep so close to me that it's absolutely hilarious to see the tiny space I leave between them when I get up before they do...you look at it and say there is no way that pregnant woman fit there! (and you should try squeezing yourself back in if you just got up to go pee!!)

I told dh the other night I guess I'll just have to learn to sleep on my back and let the baby sleep on my chest until he gets too big for me to be able to breathe with him there. I think I'm going to get a bedside bassinet co sleeper instead of the arm's reach...it's cheaper and if it doesn't work for us won't be such a big loss. I need something I can transfer baby safely to without having to get up.

We may resort to a sidecarred crib at some point in the future.

Christa

[VickV]

OP, I am in exactly your place - right down to the DD born in July '05

My current thought is that Isabel will sleep between us and Newbie will sleep in a sidcarred crib or cosleeper.

[mollybet]

I'm in the same boat with my June 05 toddler. We have a Cal King and a twin squeezed together in a corner of our bedroom. I sleep on the side of the bed next to the twin. DD starts out in the twin and ends up in my armpit at some point during the night. I just don't know how that's going to work with the new baby.

[zjande]

DH & I were just talking about this again last night! I have NO IDEA what we're going to do. We have a pak 'n play at the foot of our bed that I was hoping to accustom our 22 mo old ds to before the new baby came, but 1. He hates it 2. He wants to be on my boob 87.9% of the night 3. I can't reach into the playpen thing & lift him out during the night anymore, my stomach muscles Just Say No.



I have no idea! There isn't room for all 4 of us as DH so bizarrely thinks. Maybe I'll get fed up & go sleep on the floor in my pile of babies until DH is forced to go buy us a bigger bed.

[AGlimmeringHope]

dd has chosen to sleep in her toddler bed on her own some nights, but not very consistently yet. Part of it is my fault- I hate sleeping alone and with DH gone five nights a week my options are limited to two dogs that will destroy our room when I fall asleep or a calm sleepy two year old! But, DH's schedule will be changing sometime in the near future to where he's only gone overnight twice a week. There's no way four of us will fit on a queen size sofa bed. I think for the time being, I'm going to try putting dd's toddler bed next to our sofa bed and see if that gets dd used to sleeping in it. Then slowly move it over to the other side of the room where her "area" is.

[mb05]

Hello!

Wanted to jump in with our experience... DD #1 was born in June of '05 and we just had DD #2 on 10/10. We've co-slept with DD #1 since the beginning and I was equally confused on how we would continue safe co-sleeping when #2 arrived.

In our king size bed, we sleep with a bed rail (& towel to fill in the gap), then dd #2, me, dd#1 and then my dh. It's worked well so far. If dd#1 moves any (she sleeps perpendicular to us most of the time... ergh!), I wake up. So, if the baby is nursing at night (dd #1 doesn't night nurse anymore) on the side closest to dd#1, I'm mostly awake with my arm in between the two. I'll then "flip" baby over to my other side when she's back asleep and then fall asleep myself.

Hope this makes sense! It is doable!

take care,
carla


meghan elise (6/29/05, c/s... frank breech)

claire emilee (10/10/07... VBAC)


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[kittywitty]

We have a less than Queen sized futon mattress until tomorrow when we pick up our NEW awesome King Sized mattress we got on sale. I can't freakin wait! It was doable with each kid as a baby, but still a tight fit. Hopefully now this will keep dh on his side of the bed. He's a bed hog.

[zjande]

Hm, I still have no idea. Me, dh, our 24 month old & the newborn will not fit in our bed. I don't know what we'll do. I have about as good of an idea as to how we'll remedy this as I do about what we'll name this baby if it's a boy.

[bobandjess99]

*sigh* another bedless, nameless baby here......
right now with just me, dh and dd in a queen, we are dreadfully unhappy. I have no clue what we are going to do..we have looked at Kings, but we have no place to put one...as in, quite literally, the dimensions of our tiny little bedroom are smaller than that of a king size bed! Our queen is nearly wall to wall...sigh....

[MCKH]

This is another one of those things I am choosing not to even think about until after the baby is here. I have no clue how it will work. DD sleeps basically on top of me and has to be touching someone (preferably me) all night long.

[look11]

Our 4 year old DD pretty much sleeps in her own room and I am not crazy about sharing my space these days. However, when she has nightmares, etc, I have her get a pillow and blanket and lay across the foot of the bed on top of our blankets. Yes, we have to curl our legs up, but it seems way less intrusive to have her in her own space down there than between us. We're not skinny people and there's seriously no room... especially when baby arrives.

I'm hoping to have baby in the mini-cosleeper that my friend just gave us. I never used one with DD, and I'm all for the family bed, but i'd just be so much happier/comfortable if baby wasn't up against me ALL night long.

[Belleweather]

Originally Posted by kittywitty

We have a less than Queen sized futon mattress until tomorrow when we pick up our NEW awesome King Sized mattress we got on sale. I can't freakin wait! It was doable with each kid as a baby, but still a tight fit. Hopefully now this will keep dh on his side of the bed. He's a bed hog.

Congratulations! I LOVE our King sized bed, and the baby isn't even here yet. Just having the space to spread out with me and all my preggo-pillow needs has been absolutely worth it. And even though babies have special bed-hogging non-Newtonian physics powers, they can't possibly be larger than my amazing pile of preggo pillows, so I think we'll be okay.