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Anyone else sick to death of the public attention?

post #1 of 61
Thread Starter 
See, if one more person stands there watching me trying to navigate my crew into or out of a store, watching and not lifting a finger, and says to me, "wow, you have your hands full," I swear I'm going to take my big old booted foot and shove it right down their throat.

And what about that bit about are they twins, and I saw yes, and they're all like are you sure. Well no actually I think maybe that might have been a puppy in there kicking at me all those months, and maybe it got switched at birth for the second baby.

Geez people think before you make these dumb remarks.

And the worst is when the creepy old ladies try to TOUCH them.

And when they totally ignore poor DD1.

I used to enjoy all the public attention. It was a good remedy for postpartum blues to go out and get fussed over by random people. But I'm getting good and heartily SICK of it now. I want to live my life and not be a spectacle.

I can't imagine how parents of higher order multiples put up with it. Twins are common enough and still nobody leaves me alone, so it must be so much worse for them.

:
post #2 of 61
Yep, hate it. Although I never enjoyed the attention. I'm sort of a private person, when I go to Target I just want to get my shopping done and get out of there. I really don't care if your cousin's neighbor's uncle's brother was a twin. Reallly I don't.

And yes, I have my hands full, but what mother doesn't.
post #3 of 61


It never ends. My dh is a twin (identical) On the rare occasions he's out in public with his brother we get comments EVERY SINGLE TIME.

-Angela
post #4 of 61
Oh, I hate it. HATE it.

Actually, it isn't so bad now because they are older and I radiate "leave me alone" vibes. Plus, twins are super common in my area so I am not special.

But the stupid things people say bug me. Hello - engage your brain before you open your mouth! And, multiples are not a freak show. I did a blog post about this with a cool video of a triplet family trying to go to the zoo and it really astonished me how many people wouldn't believe that, no, I REALLY don't like the attention. That asking pushy personal questions is RUDE. That sometimes people put their multiple children in a stroller to go out and get milk and bread, not attention.
post #5 of 61
I've found that it has slowed down a lot and even stopped as my boys have gotten older. Whenever I approach a twin mom I see that look of panic start to cross her face like oh no, not ANOTHER idiot coming to bother me but I usually just say I'm another mom of twins and that's it.
post #6 of 61
Yes I'm a shy person and to have people stopping and wanting to talk all the time freaks me out. The wow your hands must be full is a comment I'd like to smack people for. I have to say the attention when they were younger is nothing compared to the attention we get now. My oldest is very small for his age and all three boys look to be about the same age so we get stopped all the time asking if they are triplets. I swear we can't go more than 5 feet without being asked. I'm very tempted to buy shirts that state that yes we are all the same size, no we aren't triplets, and no my mom doesn't like to talk to strangers.
post #7 of 61
I remember those days. Shudder. If they're not ID and you don't dress them alike it will start to dissipate as they start to walk on their own when you're out. For us that was around 2 years. Now at 4 we never even get a second glance.

If they're ID I don't know. Sounds like Angela's experience is not so great...

Hugs mama!
post #8 of 61
Mine are only 8 weeks and I'm already sick on having the same conversation everywhere I go.
Yes, they're twins.
Yes, both girls.
No, they're fraternal.
Yes, they were full term.
6 pounds, and 6 pounds, 2 ounces.
Yes, it was a surprise.
Yes, twins run in my family.

My favorite is when I have my boys with me also. My 8 year old is 4'5" and about 95 pounds. My 4 year old is about 3'10" and 45 pounds. I actually have been asked if they're twins as well. Uh, no.

Myfavorite answer to "Wow! You really have your hands full!" is "Better full than empty."
post #9 of 61
I couldn't agree more with everyone. How about the god bless you or bless you, you really need it. I so hate that. One day in Target I heard it from ten different people. If it was meant in a kind way that would be different but usaually it's a I pity you tone. The worse is when everywhere we go people comment about the twins and my poor son gets his feelings hurt. I've started just walking past people like I don't hear them unless they corner me.
post #10 of 61
I can completely relate to what you are all saying. My girls are now 6 months and all the attention is getting old. At least all the moronic attention is getting old. I love it when people come up to ask about my breastfeeding experiences with them but all other questions drive me nuts. When I'm wearing them both in slings and people say "wow, you've got your hands full" I respond "Actually, my hands are free!" and hold them up to demonstrate such! I've ordered a bag from a website at Cafepress that answers all the common questions regarding fraternal twins so I can just point to the bag whenever anyone asks me next time!
post #11 of 61
It dissipates over time. Now that my boys don't use a stroller and are walking/helping me in the store with errands, I don't think people even notice. (they are MZ, but I pretty much nix them dressing alike on school days, and Dylan is about 4-6 months behind on the growth spurt than Tom, so right now they are noticeably different in height) I get more comments about having 3 kids in tow (generally complementary, since they're well mannered and extremely mellow by nature).

Occasionally someone will ask if they're twins, but it's not in the same ZOMG YOU POOR THING way as what happened when they were babies and toddlers.

I'm kind of expecting it to increase when they're teens, if my friends who happen to be a twin are any indication. I was friends with one MZ girl and one MZ guy, and if a group of us happened to be out and about and both twins were in a group, it was a traffic stopper.

But at least by then as a parent of a teen generally you're not going to be around to see it, and THEY get to deal with the inane commentary.
post #12 of 61
We don't get much attention in public at all anymore. Most people don't even realize they are twins (boy/girl). I just look like a mom with a bunch of kids close together in age. But when they were little babies we got alot of questions. My favorite question was "Are they identical?" No, they are a boy and a girl. :
post #13 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemelos View Post
My favorite question was "Are they identical?" No, they are a boy and a girl. :
I will NEVER understand how people can think that a person with a penis and a person with a vagina can be identical. Seriously.
post #14 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemelos View Post
We don't get much attention in public at all anymore. Most people don't even realize they are twins (boy/girl). I just look like a mom with a bunch of kids close together in age. But when they were little babies we got alot of questions. My favorite question was "Are they identical?" No, they are a boy and a girl. :
hahaha, I used to nanny for boy/girl twins, and I'd get that question sometimes when I took them somewhere in public. After explaining that they were boy/girl twins to one woman, she said "oh....well, so, are they identical?" NO, LADY, ONE OF THEM HAS A PENIS!:::
post #15 of 61
I think it definintely gets easier once they aren't so tiny and strapped into a stroller. Well, that and the "keep away" glare seems to make it possible to go out in public with much less ooohing and aaahing these days. But I well remember those early days, and what especially angered me was the way people ignored my beautiful, amazing, smart, patient older singleton son. Just talked right over his head. I would always work him into the answers of their (usually ridiculous) questions, but it just made me so mad. Like, hello, people, here's another human being here who is just as wonderful as these two who happen to look alike!

We eventually nixed the double stroller for the girls if we had to get in and out of a store quickly (or else carried a girl and had DS ride in the stroller). Much better that way.

I have to admit, though, there were days those early months when life was so hard that I would dress them in some of their adorable outfits they never wore and took them to the mall just to have people talk to me and admire my babes. : SOmething you can't do as successfully with a singleton!
post #16 of 61
Everytime I tell my mom that I saw some other twins out and about, she always asked if I talked to them and never understands why I don't... If I've got the girls with me, I'll give a knowing smile, but it ends there.

Getting your crap done is hard enough with too babies!

BTW - my favorite comment is "Oh, so you're done (having kids) now, right?" from total strangers...
post #17 of 61
What is weird for me is the difference in the reaction I get now that I'm in a different city. In Columbus I couldn't walk three feet in the store without someone stopping to comment. But once we moved to Akron no one seemed to notice us or care. We couldn't believe the first time we got through a grocery trip without one single comment. Usually though, I just plow the double stroller through the store like I'm in a big hurry and don't make eye contact with anyone. The pointing and whispering I see out of the corner of my eye is enough attention for me!
post #18 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarabrynn82 View Post

BTW - my favorite comment is "Oh, so you're done (having kids) now, right?" from total strangers...
Our twins aren't even on the outside yet and we get those comments from nearly everyone, except family (though some of them are rude too.) As soon as they find out we're having twins, it's like " You're going to stop then, right?!"

And I love saying, "No, actually, we'd like about a dozen or so..."
post #19 of 61
I'll admit that for the first few months or so I enjoyed it, but now it absolutely drives me bananas!

I find myself dressing my MZ twins alike when we go out so I don't get asked AS MUCH - although I do get asked quite a bit. I started giving people the "Are you stupid?" look before I answered but have since decided it's a waste of my energy.

I want to say, "No, we had this one cloned. Or was it this one...."

I've even had, "How far apart are their ages?" "6 minutes" "Oh they're twins?"

What is it about multiples that turns you into a freak show??? Even with my own family, my mom's family even (this is the 4th set of twins) makes this huge production when we walk through the door. I mean, come on. They're just two (or more) kids born at the same time. What's the big attraction?

I really give off "Don't mess with me vibes" when I go shopping. That seems to help. Look like you're really busy. I had a cashier come up to me (at the self-check out) and say, "Okay, so who is more outgoing?" I said, "They're two different people, I don't compare them." "Oh I know! Just my brother has twins and one is more outgoing than the other so I just wondered if it was the same with yours." Never met this woman in my life and here she is waiting for an answer still. I just shrugged my shoulders.

She'd never ask me that question about two kids born years apart.

When people say "I'm glad it's you and not me!" I say "So am I!" When people tell me "You have your hands full!" or "I bet they keep you busy" I say "Oh, but they're a lot of fun!" I hate these comments. They make it seem like having multiples is something that's not to be desired. I love my girls and their twinness makes them unique and special. They'd be different girls if they hadn't come 6 minutes apart and I love them for it. Wouldn't want it any other way. And when they get old enough to understand these comments from strangers I'm going to be a little more pushy with my answers
post #20 of 61
i just smile, say thanks, and look away. if i make eye contact with the "talker" too long then they'll have me standing there a half hour.
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