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Anyone else sick to death of the public attention? - Page 2

post #21 of 61
I find that if I just smile in response and not say a word, they move on quickly.

It's not so bad now that my twins are nearing five years old. I still get asked if they are twins. I just say yes and move along. I sometimes get asked if I have triplets, but my DD is 20 months younger and OBVIOUSLY not a triplet .. she is big for her age, but not near as big as the boys and you can just tell they aren't the same age. So I find that funny.

I still remember taking our twins into Target when they were two months old. A simple shopping trip turned into a circus. I was so mad and so was DH. We were just trying to Christmas shop a tiny bit and get out. And all I wanted was to get out of the house, as I had been stuck in the house for so long it seemed like..
post #22 of 61
I never would have believe how stupid/rude people could be until I had my babies. I have no new comments to add that others haven't already posted about. I have B/G twins and I get the "so are the identical" comment often and I do reply "nope, one has a penis and the other has a vagina". This usually shuts them up. I've had a few people get flustered and reply that they meant to ask if they were similar looking, but really don't most siblings look similar?? Shouldn't most people know the difference between identical and similar?

I also get comments about how I "must be done now" since I have a boy and a girl. What business is it to this stranger about plans for my family?

I have mastered a don't f8ck with me look when we go out. I usually barrel through the store when I go out. The last time I went to the market I ran into another twin mama who has B/G twins a few months older than mine and I was so entrenched in the thought of getting out of the store as quickly as possible it didn't dawn on me until the walk home that I should have been a bit nicer and perhaps I could have made friends with this woman.

Gees, can you tell that this bugs me? Perhaps I wouldn't be bothered so much by it if I weren't so sleep deprived? Only time will tell.
post #23 of 61
Try living as white foreigners in an Asian country where twins are very rare. Add to that, that it's very good luck to see a set of twins and even better luck to touch them.... : Seriously, our neighbors went out and bought lottery tickets the day they were born!

Last night we went out on a rare visit to a mall, and I finally had to tell my DH to keep the stroller as a moving target, because as soon as we stop, we're surrounded by like 30 people. I just smile and keep on walking. I swear they say, "psst, there're twins here, pass it on." By the time we leave the mall, everyone has come to take a peek. My DD yells at them, NO TOUCH! And my DS says, "MY baby!" They're quite protective, almost like guards on each side of the stroller

The word for twins is "faa fat". My daughter keeps asking me why people are calling the babies fat. While I do like a little bit of attention, I much prefer to get my shopping done quickly. Right now my girls share a single stroller and lay down in it, but now that they're looking around and slightly propped up, everyone can see them. I need to buy a double stroller but know what attention I'll be getting...
post #24 of 61
Yeah, I don't like it one bit when people go touching my babies! I would *never* presume that it's okay to go around touching some strangers kid! Plus my boys are like, "who the hell are you and why on earth are you touching me???" It's not like they like it. And I get all.the.time the question about whether or not they're twins. Just the other day I was somewhere and this guy says (all joking like), "oh look at the twins!" and then he pauses and says, "wait - they aren't twins, right?" and I'm like, "uh, yeah" and he says (about my larger twin) "how much bigger is he?" and I say, "9 lbs." and he says, "no, how much larger?" "9 LBS." I guess he thought that was his total weight and not his weight difference (which is really 11 lbs - we just rechecked). Anyway, b/c of the weight difference people really disbelieve me when I say they're twins. And then when I have the nerve to tell them that the (much) smaller of the two is the older brother, they're really dumbfounded. ha People are weird. Still, I generally like the attention - at least it's adults talking to me!
post #25 of 61
Thread Starter 
The ones that really kill me are the ones that say, "oh, they can't be twins. They don't look a bit alike." :

Or the ones that want all the personal details of their conception-- did I conceive them "naturally," did I take fertility drugs, do twins run in my family, etc. Like it's any of their business.

And why is it that everybody seems to think I CARE that their second cousin is a twin, or their grandmother's sister had twins, or they live next door to twins, or they once went to school with a set of triplets. They really honestly think I care.

Thanks all. At least I feel better knowing it's not just me who's fed up. My mom gives me a hard time and says I should be "nicer" to people because "they just want to be friendly" or "it doesn't hurt you to stop and talk to them." : So I started to think maybe it was just me.
post #26 of 61
Oh, I thought of another weird comment. This one lady was like "oh, he is big-he must hog all the formula." I told her they were breastfed and she was like "oh, I am a TOTAL breastfeeding proponent." Two things I thought were weird. First, how does a baby "hog" all the formula? Wouldn't I just make 2 bottles? : Secondly, why did she assume they were formula fed if she is such a proponent of breastfeeding?
post #27 of 61
I had a complete stranger want to know if they were delievered "natually" or if I had a c-section.

I should have asked her what had come out of her vagina lately :
post #28 of 61
I get asked that question, too, but it doesn't bother me. I love getting to tell people I had my twins at home.
post #29 of 61
I've also found that it gets better as your twins get older. Mine are so very fraternal, too, that some people are genuinely surprised that they're both mine, let alone twins. I think having them out of a stroller helps, too. It's pretty obvious to even the most obtuse that you can't stop to chat while you're chasing down two 2-year olds.

Being PG with a third with two year old twins who do keep me running after them has inspired a lot of inane comments, though.

I never know what to say when people tell me that they're neighbor has 7-year old twins. About all I can come up with is, "Oh." I do like talking to people who are twins themselves & have gleaned things from them regarding parenting twins that have been helpful, or people with adult twins. I met a woman at the airport who had twins as her youngest of 5 children, all under 6. Made me stop whining about what 3 under 3 will be like.
post #30 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by wendyjoe View Post
I had a complete stranger want to know if they were delievered "natually" or if I had a c-section.

I should have asked her what had come out of her vagina lately :
I am cracking up!!! That is too funny....I'll have to remember that one...



Goodness, I am already getting comments/looks and my babes aren't even born yet. It'll be interesting to see what things people say in the months to come.
Today though was the oddest comment. I was checking out at the grocery store and the cashier asked me 'Are you having your baby today?' And I am thinking to myself, yup I came to buy some eggs and chicken then on my way home I'll swing by the hospital. I mean, come on people! Usually I get asked when am I due - which doesn't bother me one bit. But am I having my baby today????? WTF?
post #31 of 61
i am 29 but i'm lucky enough or cursed enough to look more like i'm 23 and people always ask me if all three of them are mine. Nope- stole this one on the way out of the hospital because I wanted a boy too. Then they follow that up with the obligatory "hands full" comment. i want to look at them and say- gee, no one has EVER said that to me before!
post #32 of 61
I thought of this thread today when...

a tour bus stopped and we were the main attraction. :

Busses come by often because there's a tourist attraction next to DH's work. We were walking home, and DS was so tired he was in the stroller and DH was carrying the babies. The bus stops right in front of us and even though you couldn't hear anything, you could see one woman's eyes go wide and then shout something. Next thing you know, all heads turn. Kindof funny, and hey at least they couldn't touch
post #33 of 61
I usually just smile and keep moving. I often hear a "oh, look at the twins, how cute" if they arent in front of me but off to my side, I dont even acknowledge them and keep moving....Now that they twins are a bit older (19months), I have noticed that the "fussing" over them has stopped. Now it is, "oh they are cute" and move on. But I bet if I were to stop and acknowledge them, then it would turn into something more....

I think what got my into this "just keep moving" phase of mind is b/c I have Great Danes. Well I only have 1 now but had 4 up until a few years ago. Try walking anywhere with 4, 150+ dogs.... My dh and I just had the mentality "keep on moving" with them so with the twins, it just seemed natural.
post #34 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaRabbit View Post
I thought of this thread today when...

a tour bus stopped and we were the main attraction. :

Busses come by often because there's a tourist attraction next to DH's work. We were walking home, and DS was so tired he was in the stroller and DH was carrying the babies. The bus stops right in front of us and even though you couldn't hear anything, you could see one woman's eyes go wide and then shout something. Next thing you know, all heads turn. Kindof funny, and hey at least they couldn't touch
hehe. You guys really are celebs!
post #35 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemelos View Post
I get asked that question, too, but it doesn't bother me. I love getting to tell people I had my twins at home.
Yes me too, if they ask if they were full term I say yes and they were born at home In fact any way I can squeeze into the conversation that they were born at home or they are breastfed I do
post #36 of 61
Quote:
Yes me too, if they ask if they were full term I say yes and they were born at home In fact any way I can squeeze into the conversation that they were born at home or they are breastfed I do
Good for you! Why not? People need to hear encouraging stories.
post #37 of 61
I enjoy the attention if I'm not in a hurry. Although that may change as the babies get older. I hate it if I am rushing around, or if one of my kids is complaining and someone keeps asking me questions. Hello?? Can't you see I need to get on with it?

I watched the triplets go to the zoo video and found it amazing what some people will do. But really, if I saw 6 week old triplets at the zoo, I would want to get a better look. You never see that. But there certainly needs to be more respect.

But a lot of people will talk to you and gawk at you if you have only one little baby, it just reaches new levels with twins or more. The other day I was at the drugstore with only one baby in the sling and this woman started asking me questions (how old, is he sick? He was fussing and we were standing at the pharmacy) and I found myself being very stand-offish. So that avoidance thing kicks in all the time now. I probably would've been friendlier and chatted more, she did say she had a baby 1 month older, but I was doing all I could to keep ds from full blown cry.
post #38 of 61
I always loved the attention. I miss people recognizing that they're twins.
post #39 of 61
I hereby promise to keep my mouth shut when I see multiples from this point on.

Signed- mama of an only.
post #40 of 61
Also, as a mom of twins, I always go out of my way to talk to other moms of twins. I probably annoy them.
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