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Anyone else sick to death of the public attention? - Page 3

post #41 of 61
I usually do ergo and stroller at stores, if we are just going for a walk (we live in a city) I do the Manhattan walk (where I used to live) -- walk fast, keep your eyes in the middle distance and a slightly crabby look on your face. People tend to leave me alone, whereas my DH and mom both get tons of comments.

I think the worst for me was at the end of my pregnancy. I carried to term and my preggy tummy got very pointy and protruding (not wide at all IYKWIM) and the last few weeks people would just stare. Not say anything, not smile, just stare in shock that I'm not tipping over or something.
THe wors comment I got was from a mom at my older dd's preschool "Are you having twins?"
"Oh, well then you have a right to be so big"
WHAT BIT$&?! Thanks for the f'n premission.
post #42 of 61
I told my mom about this thread. She gets so excited to see twins because she misses mine. I guess she thought of this thread because the other day she saw a mom with ID boys about 3 yr old the other day at a restaurant. The mama looked at her like, oh no, but my mom just said, "your boys are so well behaved!" Look of relief.
post #43 of 61
I like to talk to people if they have twins and ask legite questions. The awwing and cooing gets on my nerves.
post #44 of 61
I find myself drawn to twin babies, since my "babies" are 13 years old, and 6 inches taller than me!

BUT, I also am the goofball who offers to help unload groceries from the cart to the car while Mom loads up the kids. I am the nutcase who makes faces at a cranky kid in the checkout line, or plays peekaboo, or anything to distract a kid so Mom can pay for her purchases (I do this when they only have one kid). I almost always let people with young children go ahead of my in line.

My favorite way to deal with strangers making stupid, stupid comments was to simply agree with them. "Are your son and daughter identical?" "Yep!" Let someone else tell them it isn't possible.

My exception was when someone said "Double trouble" - I always answer with "Twice as nice!"
post #45 of 61
Usually, I don't mind the comments, it's usually saying how cute my boys are, and they even pay attention to my older DD.

What gets me like mentioned before is "Oh God bless you! You must have your hands full" "Double Trouble"

There was one time where I felt absolutely uncomfortable with the attention. My DD had this "car parade" at her school. The entire school was out in the hallway. I had to go in the hallway to get to the place where I needed to be. I swear, as I passed by you could hear "Awwww! Twins!!" in unison. Even the teachers. And as I passed by the kids tried to touch them. Uggh, I did NOT like it one bit. I felt like we were on parade.
post #46 of 61
Originally Posted by Jennyfur View Post
Also, as a mom of twins, I always go out of my way to talk to other moms of twins. I probably annoy them.
I do the same thing!

Comments from strangers do not annoy me. I do get "Are they identical?” quite a bit - even though they are B/G; it still amuses me.

If asked, I do not mind telling people they were conceived with medical assistance. I do, however, hate it when I am out with my neighbor, who also has twins, and someone says something about two set of twins and she immediately says “oh, but mine are natural!” as if it is ‘better’ than being conceived via IVF.
post #47 of 61
Originally Posted by skyezy View Post
Mine are only 8 weeks and I'm already sick on having the same conversation everywhere I go.
Yes, they're twins.
Yes, both girls.
No, they're fraternal.
Yes, they were full term.
6 pounds, and 6 pounds, 2 ounces.
Yes, it was a surprise.
Yes, twins run in my family.

My favorite is when I have my boys with me also. My 8 year old is 4'5" and about 95 pounds. My 4 year old is about 3'10" and 45 pounds. I actually have been asked if they're twins as well. Uh, no.

Myfavorite answer to "Wow! You really have your hands full!" is "Better full than empty."

LMAO!!! So freakin' true! I swear I go through the same pitch every day. Or I have ppl ask if they are fraternal or identical, and I say "well, they are b/ g so what do you think"??? Hhhhmmmmm...they are identical I guess, except for the plumbing....haha...
post #48 of 61
My recent 2 favorite encounters were just too funny. The first was at the grocery store. I am babysitting for a dear friend's 3 kiddos while she works once a week. All 6 of our kids are really into running errands, so I don't hesitate to take them to the grocery store. Of course you know what people think when you walk in with a 7 year old, two 4 year olds, and almost 2 year old, and 1 year old twins... "Oh My God she has 2 sets of twins and one in between!!" I got tired of explaining that they aren't all mine.

The next one was a little weird. I was at the park with a friend who has MZ girls the same age as my boys and a DS the same age as my DD. A guy was passing us on the road and asked which one of us was the mother and which one was the nanny! It seems he thought one of us had twins and QUADS, so of course the other must be the help. Ummm... they don't even look alike. At all.

Zadee, you and I should go strolling in the center again now that they are all little maniacs. The 5 kids should collectively be off putting enough to keep most nosy strangers at bay. If not I'll have the boys knock them down and F can bite their ankles. lol!
post #49 of 61
Originally Posted by Llyra View Post

And why is it that everybody seems to think I CARE that their second cousin is a twin, or their grandmother's sister had twins, or they live next door to twins, or they once went to school with a set of triplets. They really honestly think I care.

Thanks all. At least I feel better knowing it's not just me who's fed up. My mom gives me a hard time and says I should be "nicer" to people because "they just want to be friendly" or "it doesn't hurt you to stop and talk to them." : So I started to think maybe it was just me.
As a twin gawker, I will tell you the reason why I stop to look at multiples:

I always wanted a twin. My younger sister (2 years younger) was SO different from me that she was no fun to play with. By the time I got a sister that I "clicked" with - I was in high school.

So, for me - it's jealousy.
post #50 of 61
Sure, I get a little tired of it sometimes. But it's been a really good lesson for me in grace and patience. I know exactly why people ask all the questions - I felt equally curious/attracted/magnetized by twins.

It doesn't grate on me any more than other meaningless public exchanges: "Have a nice day" at the till. "How are you?" "Fine" "Fine" as an acquaintance and I breeze past each other on the sidewalk. "How was everything?" at a restaurant where it's pretty clear they don't care an iota.

I just try to remember the RCMP officer we saw last year. We had taken our kids to see the Musical Ride. Afterwards, all the members walk their horses to the perimeter and have the horses stand there. The public is encouraged to walk up to the ropes and pet the horses, ask questions, etc. We stood there quite some time, because between us and our neighbour there were a lot of little kids in tow and they all really liked the horse. I must have heard that RCMP officer say, "His name is Shadow!" and "He's 6-years-old!" about 50 times. No kidding. And every single time, he was able to remember that it was a sincere question from a new audience member and his smile and his enthusiasm were unbeatable.

So I've gotten a lot better at smiling and saying "Yes, they are twins" and "No, I actually have 3 older children as well" and "Yes, but it's a good kind of busy"
post #51 of 61
Jody - I was reading your response via email notification and didn't see the name until I read the story about "which is the nanny" and I thought - Oh that HAS to be Jody. I'm up for a center stroll. Let me know when. :

My confession of the night is I bothered twin parents the other night; DH and I were out to dinner while the kiddos were with my mom and there was a baby at the restaurant who I was admiring from afar. Then, as we were leaving and I was making faces at the closer baby, I realized this couple had two babies and asked if they were twins. The moment the words were out of my mouth I wanted to kick myself. There I was, doing the very thing that annoys me. :

They were adorable, though, and I will justify myself because I was really cooing at the adorablness of one. I didn't realize there were two until I was well into my baby admiration. (And, yes, I invited them to Papaya Patch's twin group and the mother said she was pretty sure we had actually met in PP already.)
post #52 of 61
Ah, I had a funny one the other day...we were visiting our IL's and a gentleman was working on their house outside. He stopped to look at my boys and a bit later he was on the phone. He then told us he just had to call his wife to tell her about the twins. "They really look alike!" he said. I responded, "Yeah, they're identical." He said, "Oh, I know their identical, but they really look alike! Some identical twins don't look alike at all, you know, like one is blonde and the other has red curly hair or one is a boy and one is a girl."
I just said, "Oh...I see!" and we got in the car to go home...
post #53 of 61
Maybe my experience is different from most or maybe I'll grow tired of the comments as my twins get older, they're 5 months now, but at this point, I'm okay with strangers remarks. My husband and I tried to get pregnant for 5 years, before I was diagnosed as having completely blocked tubes. We then turned to IVF and I became pregnant with twins. I'm certainly not saying that I love or appreciate my twins more than anyone else loves their twins, but we're still so in awe and disbelief that we're not only parents, but parents of twins! We do get asked a lot if twins run in my or DH's family, and though sometimes I am forthcoming with our IVF experience, because I don't think it should be taboo, we do each have twin cousins and sometimes I just leave it at that.

At five months my DS weighs about 3 lbs more than DD and looks much bigger, but not big enough to be 9 months apart, and he is very light while DD is dark (hair, eyes, olive complexion) and people ask if they are twins and when I answer in the affirmative, they look at me suspiciously. Then the next person will ask if they are identical!

I have to admit that I too was always fascinated by twins, so it's easy for me to relate to the curiousity of others.
post #54 of 61
i was far more annoyed at first, because i was recovering from surgery. i went out for groceries (like 4-5 things) and it took an hour and a half. Now i'm getting snappy comebacks and snark is fun . i just have accepted this as my fate, so i may as well enjoy it.

them :"you have your hands full"
me wearing them both: *throws hands out wide to show them the opposite* not right now i don't!

do they run in your family?
not yet, they can't even crawl.

are they natural?
no, they're robots. (haven't used this but i will)

double trouble?
not at all (course i'm often thinking... no more like triple trouble)

i had some one ask when they were a week old "ooh can i have one?" i said yeah, how much you offering..... that shut her up

i had another thought,... but i forgot it amidst chaos... i'll post later when i remember.
post #55 of 61
Am so relieved that this is a worldwide thing!! I thought it was maybe just here in the Uk that we were such celebrities.
I must admit that at first, pushing out two babies made me really chuffed and proud and I didn't mind but one year and several thousand stupid comments later I am getting a bit ticked off :

I think the worst remarks are the personal ones about whether they are IVF or not and the comparisons between them....that one is prettier etc. Why on earth do people think they have a right to make such comments because there are two of them?
Everyone always seems to have an opinion as to whether I should have anymore too, and if they are identical (nope) are they boys (nope just hate pink) "oh I can see the earrings now..." "are they twins?" yes.... "are you sure"????!!!! ummmm nope I stole one

Fran x
post #56 of 61
I love when people stop to tell me how cute my girls are. I love it less when they start asking 1000 questions. I hate it when they start telling me how their kids are 15 months apart, so they are practicaly twins, or whatever other nonsense people come up with when they are trying to make conversation.

I've honestly only had one truly rude person who said "Wow, better you than me." Everyone else I've ever met has been either nice, complimentary, or at worst - clueless.

I do find it funny that I get almost as many "They're fraternal, right?" as I get "OMG, they are soooooo identical!" (they are MZ):
post #57 of 61
OK I remembered!

"did you know you were having twins?"

Um no i thought I was having puppies. Um ultrasounds are routine now, surprise twins are VERY rare. UC is gaining popularity, but It's still pretty unlikely since most moms either "know" or can make a pretty good guess.
post #58 of 61
Originally Posted by gemelos View Post
I love getting to tell people I had my twins at home.
Yeah, that's a real jaw dropper for most people, especially in my local Moms of Multiples group.

I agree totally with the "better full than empty" comment. I've replied at times, "And my heart's full also." Have any of you read the book "Twinnies"? I checked it out of our local library lately. It's great because it's told from the perspective of an older sister (she seems about 4yo). It expresses her annoyance at having their lives taken over by twins, her frustration at all the stupid questions, and her love of her baby twin sisters. I loved it for my second DS, who also has conflicted feelings at times toward his "twinnies."

I had someone ask me tonight, "Did you do anything different?" I replied kindly, but it really made me chuckle as I was walking out of the store. I mean, did she think some different position produces twins? And if it could have, would I want to be sharing that with a stranger in the supermarket, while standing in line with other customers? LOL
post #59 of 61
Just had to post... I'm an identical twin and I think the worst one I heard when I was growing up was "But when you wake up in the morning, how do you know you're K and not D?"

Tbh I think people just have to comment no matter what your situation. I notice it with my kids all the time and it drives me nuts. I'll admit though that it can't be even half of what you all have to put up with.
post #60 of 61
I just remembered a funny one. I was on line at Starbucks and the lady behind me said "Oh my gosh! They are so cute! Can you tell them apart?" : I get how can you tell them apart all the time, but can you tell them apart really floored me. No, lady, they're totally interchangeable and when they are old enough to remember who they are, I'll ask them.
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