i left him!!!

[chrysalis]

just a quick update (i am at the library) to let you mamas know that i finally have LEFT tom. he got out of hand again monday night and so when he left i left too. i've been at a motel and we are safe. there is a police report on file now and also one w/ the local domestic violence org. my mom is flying out from oregon to minnesota on saturday and we plan on hiring a security guard (the cops won't do it w/out a court order for protection/appearance in court...can't do this in time) while we get the last of our things in a uhaul while tom is hopefully at his NA meeting. then its off to oregon!!! i already have a MW i adore lined up for there to homebirth with and a doula friend. i am relieved to be leaving for good. i will update you more in a few days once we move out of that house for good. just want to let you know we ARE safe. and i am NOT going back after getting our things...

thank you for all your support and friendship and advice. love you all!!!

[Curlita]

I'm so happy to read this, Lisbeth. Good for you, and good for Megh, and good for your baby. Best blessings for your journey west. Stay strong, and I will be thinking about you and hoping for happy things in your future.

[mittendrin]

Finally! You go girl, I am proud of you!!! Good luck with everything!

[*GreenMama*]

Good for you! I'm sure there will be a sense of loss, but so much relief as well. You take care and keep us updated!

[brooklyn_warbler]

wow, i am so proud of you! i know this takes a lot of strength! we are here to support you so lean on us whenever you need it! love and peace to you, mama.

[oskie]

Good for you! I've followed your story (so far without comment) and honestly was a little worried the past few days without an update. Glad to hear you are safe - now stay that way!

Congrats on your new life!

[WeasleyMum]

Good for you, and good luck! You deserve better.

[GooeyRN]

I was wondering how you were doing. I am so glad that you got out! Keep us posted about how you are doing when you can.

[renaissanceed]

Sending many positive thoughts your way! Sounds like you have taken some excellent steps to move your life in a more stable direction. Please let us know if you need anything at all - we can probably rustle up some stuff to mail to you!

[GinaRae]

Try and keep us updated thru the week so we don't worry!

[BrooklynDoula]

NOt in you DDC, but my mom left when I was your dd's age (and we have the same name ) and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you for keeping your kids and yourself safe. I don't know you or the history behind this but I am really proud of you. Sending much love to you and your kids

[sorteep]

I am so proud of you... don't tell him where youa re and try to get a friend or someone to stay with you until your mom gets there.. many hugs and prayers.. stick to your guns.. you are doing the right thing..

[Heather Marie]

I am proud of you too. You are a great mama and strong woman! You can do this. Update us when you can.

[dealic]

I'm happy to hear this. I too have been following your story without comment. Even though I haven't had anything to say, I have been thinking of you. I am glad you made the leap! Keep us updated.

[StacieM]

OMG Lis - good for you!!!!!!! I am also very proud of you. Sounds like you have things lined up and in order for you to begin your new life in Oregon. I am also so happy to read your post - I know it probably won't be an easy road, but I know you can make it. Take care!

[gcgirl]

Good for you! I know things will be better for you now.

[cheeseRjedi]

Good for you Lisbeth!! I love Oregon and it sounds like that will be a MUCH safer and happier place for you, Megh, and the babe.

[Mom2ManyBlessings]

Many prayers for you as you travel west. It sounds like you've made the right decision, as hard as it has been to get there.

[sandiegokristi]

I am so proud of you mama!!! You are such a strong women and my positive thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so glad that you already have your midwife/doula set up and ready to go. I can't wait to hear an update and I hope that the move goes smoothly for you.

[pixiesmommy]

Please just don't look back. I know it's easy to convince yourself that maybe what you were going through wasn't SOOO bad and that maybe it WAS your fault.... those late at night when the cellphone is ringing off the hook with him leaving messages that say I'm sorry and I love you can sound so genuine when you're lonely and are running out of steam...

I've left 2 abusive relationships since having Pixie. One was her bio father (well, I was pregnant actually at the time!) and another was one who was like Tom seems to be- a "closet" abuser- where everyone loved him and you'd never know what a monster he was behind closed doors. I truly thought I was insane since any other time he was the "perfect catch!"

The best thing I ever did was leave the two of them. Not only because I found a great DH in the end, but because I showed my daughter that it is NOT OKAY to be abused- verbally, physically.... in ANY way. They are never too young to comprehend what is going on, believe me!!

I'm so proud of you for taking that leap. I know it's hard and pregnancy isn't easy even with lots of support, but there is something to be said for being a strong, "can do" woman who is an awesome parent on her own. All you need is your own determination and you CAN do it!

I lived in a rinky-dinky trailer on my parents' property when Pix was a toddler/preschooler, worked 60+ hours a week on my feet in a crappy retail job, saved up enough money to not only buy a new car, but to put myself through 2 yrs of college while I supplemented my income selling crap on eBay that I found in thrift stores and for my mom's antique collector friends. And I lived to tell the tale!!

When I was pregnant, I lived off Ramen noodles and peanut butter and whatever else I could find really cheap, in an apartment on the 2nd floor with a crazy-steep staircase that I had to haul grocery and laundry up myself, with no heat, no air, mice, roaches, etc. And I lived to tell that tale too. I would have lived in a shelter if I'd had to, but somehow I always managed to make ends just barely meet... and you will too.

Big, big heartfelt hugs and happy tears of relief for you, Lis! Please do let us know if there is anything you need.

Manda