A blatant plea for sympathy UPDATES #11 & 22

[stacey2061]

I'm 41w 2d (3d in a couple hours)...and ready to kill

I've done everything I can to get this baby out, and am going so crazy that I am seriously starting to feel like I will be pregnant forever...yes, part of me actually believes it.

I spent most of the day crying (isn't that supposed to boost you into labour?). I never in a million years thought I'd be pregnant this long AGAIN. I can't believe I'm faced with the same decisions to make as last time...My midwife is being really impatient and has actually mentioned a few times that every day the chance of a stillbirth goes up, so of course I've got some mega mommy guilt going on...if this baby dies it's on my hands...She's just waiting for me to crack and ask for an induction, even though she knows DS was born via a really bad induction ~ DH actually had some post-traumatic issues from it. I'm really starting to hate her and of course that's not going to help me go into labour...She keeps bringing up what went wrong with my last induction, and how things should have been different, softening me up to the idea of doing it again. I'm starting to think a hospital birth without her would be better than a home birth with her (she's the only midwife here, so I don't have any other options and UC is not something we're prepared for)

I just keeping thinking "Why me, AGAIN?" I did everything I could to make sure this wouldn't be a repeat of last time, and here we are again. I can't help but feel like it's my body.

I thought I'd be a good little patient and agreed to an u/s and NST on Tuesday, knowing full well that the results would be a-ok and that all they would say is, "You're having a huge baby." Everything was perfect, but my lovely m/w still insisted on the scare-tactics...unfortunately DH was there and is absolutely terrified. He's being so supportive but I can tell he's almost done. All my girlfriends have had their babies early or right on their EDDs, so they can't really sympathise, kwim?

I think on Friday I'm going to be offered Cervadil, then allowed to go home quietly and hopefully go into labour. I've been trying so hard to be positive, but I'm losing faith and am really tempted to just take it. My m/w doesn't have any faith in my body, so how can I? She thinks my uterus is "unresponsive" and has "poor tone."

Frig, I'm so frustrated with this...and would you believe I'm in the process of losing my mucous plug for the 3rd time in the last 5 weeks?! It just keeps regenerating. This baby does NOT want out

Anyway, thanks for reading and letting me blow off some steam

[durafemina]

Gah! What is wrong with your midwife?! A perfectly normal gestation is up to 42 weeks (and a normal gestation for YOU may be even longer). My midwife *just* said this to me (she and I are talking on messenger, lol). Your body knows how to grow a baby and when it is time to give birth! If you've had a healthy normal pregnancy, your placenta isn't going to suddenly crap out and starve your baby! Nor are you going to grow an enormous baby you can't birth!
I'm so sorry that you aren't getting the support you need, especially right now when you're tired and just needing some loving on!!
lots of mama. . . and keep listening to your body/baby and doing what's right for you. You WILL go into labour on your own, on your own time.

[DoomaYula]

I do not like a mw telling you scare tactics! That's NOT okay. :

My bff went past 42w with all 4 of her kids.

I had a cervidil induction with my twin boys, almost 5y ago. It was *okay* for an induction -- it put me right into labor and I didn't need any pit or anything else. I like it better than Cyto because you can remove the cervidil when your labor gets going.

[levismom]

just say no to cytotec, whatever you do!
I will pray that your labor will start naturally quickly! I was just talking with a friend who had her babies decades ago and she was actually 4 weeks late, with a completely healthy baby. My close friend was also born 4 weeks late and her brother 6 weeks late (30+years ago before drs. got so controlling.
Don't stress if you can help it. Your body needs to feel safe to deliver. see if using EFT can help reduce your stress possibly (www.emofree.com)

Look forward to hearing your birth story!
Cheers,
JJ

[Aeress]

*ugh* I'm so sorry your midwife is a fear inducing monster!

*hugs*

Sending new moon labor vibes to you!

[marlygf]

I'm so sorry she is doing this to you! I had my first at 42 weeks without an induction and he came out perfectly healthy. Good luck with everything and try not to feel so anxious and stressed by her.

[Hippiemommie]

I'd tell her to back the F off! Your body and baby will know when it's time. @@ s

[firstkid4me]

What a UAV of a midwife!

I'm tired of being pregnant too, le sigh. I went on a walk yesterday with dd up a big ol' hill (1/3 of a mile, but really steep) and I'm thinking of doing it again today. It got things semi-started, but not completely. Maybe a hike will help move things along? (I know there's no energy for it, but it's funny how much energy perks up at the thought of finally having the baby!)

[Brisen]

Everyone already said everything I was thinking. I'm sorry you're going through this again.

[3 little birds]

I am so sorry that you are being pressured. I always go to 42 weeks. Last time I had acupuncture that worked immediately (water broke 12 hours after first treatment).

[stacey2061]

Update

I don't know what to do, guys...This afternoon around 2pm my m/w called and said that based on my u/s (which was just fine ~ fluid's a touch low but that's normal at this stage of pg) she's recommending an induction RIGHT AWAY. She gave me 2 choices: meet her at the hospital in 2 hours or tomorrow. We agreed to meet her tomorrow morning at 10 but I really don't want to. I was induced with DS1 and I left feeling raped...now I'm walking into that again?! She knows how bad that experience was and still is selling me out because of her personal schedule.

She totally mislead me. The last time I saw her (Tuesday) she said that I could be administered Cervadil, then we could quietly leave for our homebirth. Today she said no homebirth.

I'm 10 days past my EDD today, and there's no Dr who will take on a patient that far along to just wait it out some more...S is the only midwife around, so I don't really have a lot of choices. We aren't prepared to UC. I'm considering going for the Cervadil then coming home (as is allowed) and then instead of going back to the m/w's hospital if/when labour starts, just going to my local hospital and not calling S. Do you think that will work?

I really don't feel like I can give birth with her. I have no trust in her and don't want her near me. I feel so betrayed and don't know what to do...and of course I'm a "nice girl" who has a hard time being blunt with people, so I don't know if I can tell her how I feel.

What should I do?

[marlygf]

I'm so sorry. Can I just say what I would have done with my first? I was 42 weeks and when I went into the midwife she said we would induce that Friday. I told dh I wouldn't show up. She can't make me be induced. If I'm not comfortable with it than the induction wouldn't go well. I would really say that with your feelings about the first induction, this isn't the best idea for you.

I'm sorry if I'm not much help. I just hope this will all work out for you. I really wouldn't show up. You forgot!::

[candyapplez]

Stacey-

I'm so sorry you're going through this!! Take a bubble bath, I think you should stay FAR FAR away from her( is their an evil eye smiley? If I were you I'd wait to go into labor then head to the hospital. Listen to your body and momma instincts. If you have to go in tomorrow I would DEMAND that she stay out of sight. You don't need this right now. I will keep you in my prayers the best of luck!

BTW This is in NO WAY A BLATENT PLEA FOR SYMPATHY!

[hetaera]

I wouldnt go, I would stay home and relax. The baby will come when it is ready.
Sorry you are being put through this.
Stand up for yourself this time.

[kleines]

I am so sorry ou have to deal with this. She really should know better. I agree with PP, just stay home and relax.

[Dena]

I totally agree with the pps. I would just not show up. What is she going to do, come over and kidnap you and make you be induced? Just go into the hospital when you go into labor. You obviously cannot trust this woman and I think her presence anywhere near you, now or at your birth, would be damaging to you.

Fwiw, dd1 was 10 days "late," and I went into labor the day my mw scheduled my nst. So, maybe just having the induction scheduled will scare baby out of there!

[Cutie Patootie]

This is your baby and your body. Some people just grow their babes longer. He/she knows when it's time to come out. I say, "screw the midwife" and stay as far from her toxic advice and attitude as possible. Don't worry about finding a doctor. Just go to the hospital when you are in heavy labor. You can do this. Trust your mama instincts. You'll know if something is wrong. Let your baby pick his/her birthday.

[Cutie Patootie]

Originally Posted by Dena

You obviously cannot trust this woman and I think her presence anywhere near you, now or at your birth, would be damaging to you.

ITA

[Hippiemommie]

Yep just like the people before me said I would just wait to go into labor and then show up at the hospital. I'd tell everyone I know just how that midwife treated you too!

[Banana731]

This sucks! All this stress is just going to keep you from going into labor!!! What was it about the u/s that made her think you needed an iduction!?

ITA with the other posters, stay home, screw the induction. Your body. Is she the MW who was coming to your HB? Just call her when you're in labor, tell her you misunderstood her or something. Or if you have to go to the hospital anyway at this point, just show up as late in labor as you possibly can. I hope you're in labor right now though, and about to have your baby in your own home!