Oh the HORROR - trying to convert friends to cloth - Page 2

[Free49]

Oh my gosh how could I forget

Thanks Sonia! I totally spaced this one out! I just sold some of my own fb's that did not work for us on ebay! I do not believe that I forgot that yowza! Great another angle for me to work
Caroline

[reeseccup]

Now is a good time as any to tell my story as to my analness OR obsession over changing a diaper asap after I know baby has soiled.

When my ds#1 was a babe we had an in her home sitter that was cirtified with the state. We thought she was a great choice since the babies in her care seemed happy and her house was nice and clean. Well then soon ds started developing diaper rashes that no matter what I tried he'd never get rid of. One day she suggested Baby Gold Bond and it did work great, BUT as soon as I'd get rid of a rash low and behold another would come back. I felt like an awful mom (why do we blame ourselves whenever something happens to our babes even if it's not our fault?). Then one day I got off work early and picked ds up. As I approched the front door I could hear ds crying hard and as I rang the door bell I looked in the window. I could see ds standing in a play pen beet red and snot and saliva pouring out of his face. . I went in and got him up and his diaper was so drenched it was litterally drooping to his knees. I get him cleaned up, calmed down w/o talking loud, and had him ready to head out the door (winter time so had to put on layers) and THEN the sitters mother (my sitter was in her mid 40's to start with) came out of a back room and said , "oh I didn't hear you come in". WTF no doubt and my child could have been stolen or worse and nobody giving a rats patootie.

editing to say: That was 11 years ago and dh and I were dirt poor, on WIC and eating Raman noodles and hambuger from ALdis, using aldi brand dipes. We did instantly fire that sitter and reported her to the state. She in turn insisted we pay her the 2 week "notice" time that was in the contract but I refused due to her neglect. Every day when I picked up ds his diaper bag had maybe 1 or 2 dipes left in it when I usually put in 6-8 dipes which was plenty. Come to find out from that day, that he'd only been changed maybe 2 times on average and she was hording his dipes (for what I have no idea).

NOW, this is mostly why I'm so nuts and get so angry, sick, and sad for babies that are NEGLECTED and not changed as soon as the caregiver, whether a parent or not, is aware. There is NO reasonable excuse NOT to change a baby's diaper as soon as possible. NONE!! NO sane ADULT would want to sit around in potty, so then WHY THE *BLEEP* do they force this upon an innocent baby that is incapable of changing their dipe. I don't care what kind of diaper a person uses, whether sposie or cloth, there is no excuse for such laxness when it comes to a baby's hygene. For the record, yes I even change diapers in middle of the night even on my 15 month old when he wakes me up restless from a wet dipe. I did this while using sposies and I do this with cloth. What I find ironic is that a lot of these same said people, make sure the baby has good oral hygene, makes sure they have nice clean tidy clothes, everything perfect looking and clean...as their baby is sitting in their own waste. I guess I needed to vent too, it just has been burning me lately reading how little people change and wish to change their own childrens diapers. I know not every sposie user "neglects" their babies hygene needs, but it is much easier to do so with sposies and even some cloth dipes, which I've moved away from since it's harder for me to tell when he goes. Thanks for letting me vent my spleen. for all the neglected babies sitting in grossness

[KellyMomma]

Originally posted by Encyclogirl
You need to add the word "some" in there. "Some" people let their hygiene go right out the window.

I used disposables for 8 years, before we discovered cloth, and we still use them occasionally. Hygiene, or changing frequently enough was never an issue, and amongst my friends, all of whom use disposables, it's a non-issue. None of us would knowingly let a baby sit around in a wet diaper, and none of us would let a baby who has pooped sit in that, either. None of us

I would have to assume, that the people you take issue with would have a problem, no matter what they used, be it sposie, cloth, or fig leaves from their backyard.

But it's not all sposie users, and I would have to say, I can't imagine that it's even most sposie users.

Just something to think about.

I have to agree--none of my 'sposie using friends would EVER let their kids sit in a dipe that was soaked or soiled. NEVER!! I only switched to cloth a few months ago and still use sposies for some outings (depends how long we will be gone and whether she has already pooped for the day! ) and at night. I am TOTALLY obsessive about changing her when she is wet and she is never in a poopy diaper longer than the 2 seconds it takes one of us to scoop her up and get her to a clean diaper and some wipes!

I do agree that sposies make it easier for those who WANT to be lazy, because there is the excuse of the baby *feeling* dry. Well actually that isn't true, because after all night in either a sposie or a CD, your babe is gonna be W-E-T!! The same is true for daytime changes, but a lot of sposie users don't think of it like that.

Anyway, just wanted to second that not all sposie users are lazy and gross with no hygiene! :LOL

[angmul]

I am horrified!

I can't believe these stories! I am personally offering to email these people and tell them off, if anyone is interested. They don't know me, so who cares? I can cut and paste this thread, changing all names and such.

How disgusting!

[JesseMomme]

The "some" sposie users (and man I hope that "some" is really "few") who do this diaper allotment thing are obviously truly deluded. Sad to say, the only parents I met who had diapers on their kids that stayed on longer because they weren't wet enough were all around crappy parents (no matter what the class). Proper diapering was just one of many parenting skills they needed help with...I'd be lending them a Dr Sears book or something before trying to convert boneheads like that to cloth.

And I love that my cd's are very absorbant, but my gawd I still change them, even when there is just a little piddle spot on the front and ds's skin isn't even so much as damp, and Iknow the diaper "can hold more". To me the whole point of using very absorbant materials like hemp is b/c this way the diaper isn't drenched and baby isn't way too wet at every change (I have a firehose for a ds lol, although I think he's calmed that down a bit). I've even done this with FB's, I don't care, if he peed, he is not going to sit in any amount of it once I know about it.

I find going coverless during the day when they are romping around lets me easily see and/or feel very quickly when it is time for a new diaper.

[mlia]

I do have to admit that none of my sposie friends do this thankfully! That's just horrific.

[ManiacMama]

I had a friend like this. She told me she hardly ever changed her dds. The girls would sleep in a sposie all night and then she'd let them sit in it until around noon. I was appalled and told her so. Didn't seem to bother her a bit. I did, without trying, convert her to cloth because she wanted to try to save $$. She commented to me one day how her dh hated to change cloth diapers because his hands got all full of pee. I asked why that happened and she said because every inch of the diaper was wet. I told her that she was leaving her child in the diaper too long and needed to change her every time she wet. She seemed shocked. She gave up on cloth after a short time and went back to sposies. Guess she just couldn't bring herself to change diapers when they needed it.

We are no longer friends. I find this sort of behavior sickening. I see it, though, more often than I'd like - a baby with its sposie drooping to its knees with parents standing nearby or smelling like poop when you know there is no way the parents DON'T smell it. I really, really don't get it.

Jenny
Mama to Noah (4), Joshua (2) and Sarah edd 10/18/03

[Jachut]

Well, yes I apologise, of course I mean some disposable users not all. But I do mean more than one or two people of my acquaintance. And I've never known anybody in my circle of friends and relatives other than myself, who actually takes the time to dump the poo out a disposable into the toilet before binning it!!

[Jachut]

Oh and the other thing that prompted me to make that statement is that I've had more than one or two friends change their baby's dirty nappy and dump it in my kitchen bin without a word!!!

That makes me absolutely bloody furious. So you can see my experiences with friends and relatives and disposables have not been good ones. Not to mention the disposables you see dumped in shopping centre bins, and in the car parks!!

Its just a shame the whole world is not as enlightened as the wonderful mothers on this board.

[Mizelenius]

Free 49,
I have tried to convert my sister on several occasions (with subtleness, mind you). She is planning on having 4 or 5 children (imagine the savings!) but she says it's simply too much work . . .I sent her links, but only when she talked about how dangerous pads/tampons are (to show her that dd have the same chemicals) and when she kept going on about how gross it was that I use cloth pads (why she should care, I don't know).

Anyway, I have realized "the big picture" with her. She doesn't recycle anything, so that aspect won't work. She is fine with spending money on things she cares about, so that won't work. Her DD doesn't get rashes, so that route won't work. Cuteness? Well, she admits that CDs are cute, but she doesn't think it's worth it for that alone. Does your friend care about any of these things?

I used disposables for a year, and changed at least every 2 hours. My sister changes when she can tell the diaper is wet, but with a disposable, that's simply too long-- the diaper has to be soaked before you can tell. (She does change poo ones right away).

It's just a different mentality, and I don't think I can hope to ever convert her or even get her to do more frequent changes.

[kofduke]

Originally posted by Jachut
Oh and the other thing that prompted me to make that statement is that I've had more than one or two friends change their baby's dirty nappy and dump it in my kitchen bin without a word!!!

That makes me absolutely bloody furious. So you can see my experiences with friends and relatives and disposables have not been good ones. Not to mention the disposables you see dumped in shopping centre bins, and in the car parks!!

Its just a shame the whole world is not as enlightened as the wonderful mothers on this board.

I really think this is just bad manners...if someone doesn't have a diaper pail such as a diaper genie, I always first put the poopy diaper in another bag and then ASK. And I have taken them home to be properly disposed of there.

[mommytomy4kids]

I agree

Originally posted by kofduke
I really think this is just bad manners...if someone doesn't have a diaper pail such as a diaper genie, I always first put the poopy diaper in another bag and then ASK. And I have taken them home to be properly disposed of there.

Sheesh

Sherry

[lestouffer]

OK, here you go, a mom on both sides of the coin....
I have an almost 3 year old who is finally in the throws of potty training who has been in sposies all of her life (except for my first attempt at a windpro AIO) 'cause I was (and still am ) one of the change them less moms. But with number 3 (due 12/18) she will be in cloth.

Why.......when I looked at my diaper bill at 2.5 years old, I was shocked. And I realized that it could have been much higher if I had changed her more frequently. But being on a limited budget and sposies being so expensive. ..... and apparently being an all around awful mom .....

I figure if this little one pees, its cheaper to wash than to toss. Plus they are so cute...........(CD's that is)....

[JoAida]

I was just talking to DH about this the other day. I realized that I used to wait a lot longer to change when my kids were in disposies. I don't think I'm a bad mom, but I really just didn't know any better. I mean, nobody I knew back then used cloth, and I didn't want to "waste" that sposie by changing it if it wasn't "wet enough". I was even scolded as a teenager by the mother of a baby I babysat for using too many diapers while she was in my care. I still remember "3 diapers in 5 hours...do you realize how much these things cost?!?!" So I guess it was ingrained. I did change more often than most, but I've learned since using cloth, still not often enough.

People really need to be educated about diapering. Now, my DD uses about a diaper an hour during the day. I had no idea how often babies peed, and she's my third. I would be really angry if I knew someone wasn't changing my DD when she wet, and I think it's really gross to let a baby sit in poo (I never did that).

Reece, bless your heart, that's terrible. for your little one on that one.

[greenbean]

I cannot imagine that these people don't know how unhealthy it is to be sitting in waste for hours. I agree with the person that says it seems like neglect- I think it is cruel.

I do wonder though- I leave my dd in the same diaper when she is asleep for 10-12 hours a night and I don't change her while she is sleeping. Is that bad? I mean if she wakes up and cries I change her diaper but if she doesn't wake up I don't bother her. Now I am wondering if that makes me a bad mom?

Durring the day we change diapers everytime I notice she is wet and can go through 17-20 diapers for the day and night so I am certian I am changing her enough during the day but this long nighttime period has me concerned.

Do you change your child in the middle of the night?

I really have not tried to convert anyone to cloth but I did have a coworker tell me that her 2 sons (11months old and 2.5 yrs old)went through 3 diapers a day. It was everything in my power not to tell her how nasty and cruel it is to leave your child in waste all day.

[penny31]

Originally posted by Jachut
I really think when people use disposables, their hygiene goes right out the window.

I am a new poster here, so I hope you don't mind me throwing in my .02. I have been using 'sposies on my dd since she was born almost 9 months ago (and I change her frequently, as do all my 'sposie friends - I personally don't know anyone that makes their babies sit around in dirty diapers, thank goodness). I am just now switching to cloth, in large part because of all the cool dipes and diapering info I have found because of this board. I bet there are a lot more 'sposie moms like me who are lurking here on the edge of "conversion" and IMHO, this is the kind of comment that turns people off of "alternative" solutions like CD'ing. Just a thought - you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar, and the last thing most people want to hear is how inferior you think they are! I think that a fairer statement would be "How disgusting is it that some parents allow their babies to sit around in their own waste, regardless of what kind of diapers they use!"

[Encyclogirl]

Phoebe

[reeseccup]

Originally posted by penny31
...I have been using 'sposies on my dd since she was born almost 9 months ago (and I change her frequently, as do all my 'sposie friends - I personally don't know anyone that makes their babies sit around in dirty diapers, thank goodness). ...I bet there are a lot more 'sposie moms like me who are lurking here on the edge of "conversion" and IMHO, this is the kind of comment that turns people off of "alternative" solutions like CD'ing. Just a thought - you can attract more people with honey than vinegar, and the last thing most people want to hear is how inferior you think they are! I think that a fairer statement would be "How disgusting is it that some parents allow their babies to sit around in their own waste, regardless of what kind of diapers they use!"

*to be fair to the op of the comment about only sposie users...blah blah...I think she retracted with an apoligy (forgive me if I'm wrong)*


I agree for the most part. I uses sposies for my first 2 and my baby's first 2 months before I made the switch (and that was for financial reasons until I read more of the grossnesses (word?) of sposies. I was just as fastidious (sp) at changing sposies as I am at cloth. On the other hand I have read more than I care to mention many people that leave a cloth diapered baby in soiled britches for way too long IMO as well as the sposies. With that knowledge I think it's steriotyping, but since I know more that sposie dipe and do this I'd have to say the majority of the "leave them to max capasity" offenders are sposie users, but the majority of diapers used are sposies so not sure if that's even a fair way to figure. To be honest, I know way way way too many people with the mentality of just leaving them till it's FULL IRL and it totally grosses me out, as well as the smell makes me gag. I think in a lot of cases it's really ignorance, or not thinking beyond the small picture (not thinking of it as baby sitting in waste and how'd they like to sit in their own waste blah blah)or not realizing baby's really do go potty more than 3-5 times a day. There are the people that go too much "by the book" and assume that since the book says that baby will use 5-7 dipes a day, that is all they go potty. Shoot, I go more than that and I don't drink nearly enough nor do I have bladder issues. Aaaaaaaaaany way...all I ask is that people think about how many times they change dipes and consider how long the baby is sitting in potty and respect the baby enough to give it some what deceint hygene no matter finances, how much work, and education.

Always go back to the GOLDEN RULE: Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you~~~treat others as you'd want them to treat you*even if it's a baby who is incapable of helping itself so depends on us older people to tend to its base needs and desires. Truely

[blessedmomof3]

I am just now switching to cloth, in large part because of all the cool dipes and diapering info I have found because of this board. I bet there are a lot more 'sposie moms like me who are lurking here on the edge of "conversion" and IMHO, this is the kind of comment that turns people off of "alternative" solutions like CD'ing. Just a thought - you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar, and the last thing most people want to hear is how inferior you think they are! I think that a fairer statement would be "How disgusting is it that some parents allow their babies to sit around in their own waste, regardless of what kind of diapers they use!"

ITA Pheobe!!!!!

[reeseccup]

Originally posted by lestouffer
OK, here you go, a mom on both sides of the coin....


Why.......when I looked at my diaper bill at 2.5 years old, I was shocked. And I realized that it could have been much higher if I had changed her more frequently. But being on a limited budget and sposies being so expensive. ..... and apparently being an all around awful mom .....

I figure if this little one pees, its cheaper to wash than to toss. Plus they are so cute...........(CD's that is)....

You did the best you could with what you knew. Parents are imperfect and sadly our children are our learning tools. As long as we see our errors for what they are and improve as best we can upon them that is all we can ask. I can PROMISE I have made some whopper errors in my parenting, but I must say it's still a HELL of alot better than what I grew up with. Continue to improve upon your parenting, admit your mistakes and move on w/o beating yourself up over it. My MIL is so very very wise when she says, "Your children will grow up INSPITE of how you raise them." and it's so very true. If I followed along the stats of how I was raised I'd be living on the streets shooting up drugs and hooking or worse. So improve upon yourself with the knowledge you contiune to get and know you really are doing the best you can with what you have.