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Is CIO mainly an American thing?? - Page 2

post #21 of 57
10/14/07 at 10:53am
I think a lot of cultures let babies cry for short amounts of time but not in a formal, systemic way. They figure out if the crying needs to be attended to immediately (like with a very young infant or if their needs aren't being met) and then if the baby's just being fussy then they let them cry a bit. But not in order to teach them independence or whatever... Just because it's not as urgent at the moment to attend to it. It makes sense.

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post #22 of 57
10/15/07 at 1:11am
There is a wonderful book called 'Our Babies, Ourselves' that talks about cultural differences all over the world in childrearing..including breastfeeding, cosleeping, cio, etc....it explains *how* babies sleep cycles work, how they are wired in different areas, how we have been brainwashed to babytrain, blah blah blah! It's a fantastic read and very affirming for those who choose a 'mothering' path ....<thinking thinking> can't recall the author this minute, but ooooooo I do recommend this book.
post #23 of 57
10/15/07 at 1:13am
i know its thought of in english and new zealand mainstream society as well. according to my fil, in mexico its not.
post #24 of 57
10/15/07 at 1:31am
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildCanaryCait View Post
There is a wonderful book called 'Our Babies, Ourselves' that talks about cultural differences all over the world in childrearing..including breastfeeding, cosleeping, cio, etc....it explains *how* babies sleep cycles work, how they are wired in different areas, how we have been brainwashed to babytrain, blah blah blah! It's a fantastic read and very affirming for those who choose a 'mothering' path ....<thinking thinking> can't recall the author this minute, but ooooooo I do recommend this book.
The author is Meredith Small. I agree, it's a great book!
post #25 of 57
10/15/07 at 8:57am
It's not common in South Korea. They still cosleep with much older children, and a five or six year old gets what they want... they are still babies at that age, according to my host mother, when I stayed there.
post #26 of 57
10/15/07 at 3:23pm
Quote:
you're "allowed" to burp or change the nappy, but no eye contact or prolonged cuddling!
Wow. No eye contact.
This wouldn't fly if the helpless one was an adult. What BS. I'm sorry, but yuck.
post #27 of 57
10/15/07 at 3:38pm
I know at night when my DD woke up, I was ¨all business¨. I kept the room dim, I changed her diaper and fed her. I wouldn´t bring her to a brightly lit room or anything that would stimulate her too much. I still cuddled her though and would whisper to her. I just didn´t do anything to ¨rile her up¨, because I wanted her to go back to sleep. But usually as soon as I heard her rustling around in her bassinet I started feeding her,I didn´t wait until she was fully awake and crying. Many times she was still asleep/drowsy when I fed her.
post #28 of 57
10/15/07 at 4:20pm
My SIL had her children and lives in New Zealand and there it is very mainstream (it was recommended to her by the nurses in the hospital). I'm not sure if they used a formal name, but CIO is what it was. My SIL said "No, I'd rather get up with her." and the nurse replied "You'll come around when you're tired enough."

In England, I know it happens because a friend (British) said that they recently had a TV ad campiegn against it (therefore, people must be doing it, but the cultural shift against it is happening there).
post #29 of 57
10/15/07 at 4:22pm
it's common in ireland. I occasionally lurk on irish parenting boards (I grew up there but live in the US) and there is a lot of talk about it.
post #30 of 57
10/15/07 at 4:48pm
We have Controlled Crying (CC) here in the UK.... though from my understanding its different from CIO?.... Basically...if you ask all the 'mainstream' mothers - they will say 'Its okay to do CC after they are 6 months old' (though you get some doing it from birth!)... and 'You leave them to cry for 5 mintues, check on them, then leave them to cry for 10...then 15...then 20.... and so on'... then they will say... 'its sleep training and it works' ...'dont pick them up or cuddle them though'...etc etc...

But CIO is just leaving them to cry?

Now I am not saying any one is 'better' or 'worse' than the other...I think they are both bad...dont get me started on it! lol... I would never do it...horrible! But I know people who do 'do it'...its quite a 'normal' thing her unfortunatly
post #31 of 57
10/15/07 at 4:52pm
....reading through...

not sure about a TV ad campaing against it here...

But we have the NSPCC...
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/

and they have adds on tele to get you to donate to them... A 'help stop child abuse' charity ....

Their ads always leave me in tears I must say ...

One shows a little boy standing in a cot...all alone in a room...with a very sad face on...but he is quiet... The narrator then goes on to say ... '*childs name - cant remember it* doesnt cry anymore, becaues he knows no one will come to him' (or something like that)....

and the first thing many 'non mainstream' (lol) parents think of here is how many people here to controlled crying!
post #32 of 57
10/15/07 at 5:03pm
A CC/CIO equivalent "method" exists in Sweden as well. There's a doctor who sells it as his own method. It's generally known in Sweden as the "5 minute method" - not because it works in 5 minutes but because you leave the baby for 5 minutes, and then for successively longer periods.

And it's one of those methods that's "guaranteed" by the author to work for all babies and if it doesn't work for you, then you clearly did it wrong and weren't following all the instructions properly. It's all your fault, basically, not the method's.
post #33 of 57
10/15/07 at 5:06pm
of course it works!... if a baby is crying, it has a need...and if that need isnt met...the baby will give up!... If you have a strong willed child, they will need to cry for longer - some give in instantly! ...

people dont think of it like this though do they?....
Its all about how all babies are 'manipulative'....

*sigh*....

ive been on other mainstream forums and people actually ask 'how do you do cc - I want some tips/help' etc.... One person even came on a week later and was asking 'where her happy baby went'.... she couldnt see the connection!!!
post #34 of 57
10/15/07 at 5:13pm
I'm from India and back home I'd never heard of anyone using CIO. I do know Indian families in the US that have CIO ed.
post #35 of 57
10/15/07 at 9:01pm
It's common in France, at least from what I know from my in-laws who live there. Not sure if it's more of the full-on CIO, or the CC, but it's definitely there.
post #36 of 57
10/15/07 at 9:49pm
I think CIO is prevalent here for lots of reasons, so to the extent that those reasons apply to other cultures I can see this approach being used. A big one is that we don't have a fluid community of women, in all different stages of childbearing and rearing, around our whole lives. So, we look to "experts," who get paid to have answers that involve specific actions taken to correct the apparent "problem." CIO is something that they can tell you how to do (I think CC and CIO are the same, although some people do just let their kids cry unattended).

Also, Americans are so focused on getting their kids to 21 in 5 minutes, then wonder why they grow up too fast and are detached and inconsiderate.

Furthermore, I think Americans get into this idea that we are "entitled" to the luxuries of freedom from children, in a very selfish way, and then children show up and don't fit this program so the question becomes how to force them to fit as fast as possible so we can get back to pursuing our own interests.
post #37 of 57
10/15/07 at 9:52pm
I agree with everything the PP posted. I also think that cosleeping (or not) has a big impact. I think it's very very hard to support normal nighttime infant needs if you sleep separately. And when shared sleep is so taboo in the US (and other countries) then I feel like CIO is a natural result of that.
post #38 of 57
10/15/07 at 11:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dziwozony View Post
but no eye contact or prolonged cuddling! the 5 min is lengthened to 10 & so on until the baby "gets it" (i.e. gives up). they seem to think it's better them all out CIO because of the checking in, but it's pretty well the same!

Ughhhh....
No eye contact or cuddling.....what are these people thinking....as if a baby understands....this CIO concept really angers me...ughhhh....
post #39 of 57
10/16/07 at 12:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by passionatepreggers View Post
Wow. No eye contact.
This wouldn't fly if the helpless one was an adult. What BS. I'm sorry, but yuck.
I agree
post #40 of 57
10/16/07 at 12:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexsam View Post
In England, I know it happens because a friend (British) said that they recently had a TV ad campiegn against it (therefore, people must be doing it, but the cultural shift against it is happening there).
I'm so interested in this. I wish that I could see the ad..also wish I'd see ads like that here in the US.
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Bed and Nighttime Parenting › Is CIO mainly an American thing??