or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › I hate "education"- rant!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I hate "education"- rant!

post #1 of 48
Thread Starter 
I'm wondering if there are any other moms round here who feel as I do...

I work half time, and I need to for $$. So I need some kind of care for my kids. My older dd is "school age" and started kindy this year. However I really dislike sending her to school- kindy nowadays is totally not age appropriate for a summer b-day kid. The stuff they are doing is over her head, and she's forgetting the "school" stuff she kew before she went.

Then the school sends home piles of papers every day trying to get me "involved." I don't even beleive the kindy should be full day, I certainly think it's crazy that I should spend a lot of time outside school dealing with school stuff. And yesterday dd fot her first HOMEWORK!!!!!!!??????????

The thing is, there are a few developmentally appropraite private kindys around, if I want to send her- but they all seem to expect- no DEMAND a serious committment to "education/school"- on the part of parent. And it only gets worse as kids get older.

The thing is I think it's absurd that every thing in my kids life (and my life) should be about school. I don't even understand really what the point of school is- other than that's where all kids in our society go during the day.

I feel like school is this inquenchable monster trying to take over my kid's mind. She wants to read less now that she goes there.

I loved school, myself, but it took me a long time to get out of the institutional mindset once I was done with it. I just think there's a lot of life beyond school, and I'm not sure that school prepares a person for it.

There's no debating, really, that life is easier if you go to college, but does it make sense spending the better part of 15 years jumoing through hoops to get to college?

If kids are going to have to "work" all day, shouldn't they be doing something useful or learning about real life in some way? And shouldn't they be exploring their world and following their interests?

Sorry for the rant- if I was a much more radical person, this issue would be easier in a way. It's hard to homeschool or join a very alternative school when your kid carries a Bratz lunchbox. I'm not a super alternative person- I just have a serious fear of institutions (even ones that claim to be alternative.)

Anyone else ever have these thoughts?
post #2 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo View Post

Anyone else ever have these thoughts?
post #3 of 48
dd's preschool has potlucks, fundraising (low key I will admit), parent teacher conferences, parent bookclub, board meetings and home visits by the teacher. I get overwhelmed by it sometimes. But I do realize that a school that wants me involved actually views education as a parent/teacher team. That we're meant to work together as my child grows up. I couldn't just send dd off to school and not be involved. However, I'm also an introvert so it's really hard for me personally. I have to push myself.

It does help for me that my dh is a teacher so I get a lot of teacher perspective on things as well and know that most schools aren't out to institutionalize your child and they do want to work with you not take you over or work against you.
post #4 of 48
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisalou View Post
dd's preschool has potlucks, fundraising (low key I will admit), parent teacher conferences, parent bookclub, board meetings and home visits by the teacher.
That would drive me up a wall.
post #5 of 48
Thread Starter 
The thing is that plenty of parents are too busy to go to all the activities or can't afford to, or don't have a car. My dh works 100 hrs a week and travels a lot, so I have to pay for a babysitter if I want to go to some of this stuff. And there are a lot of families who have a lot less resources than I do.

Only the people who show up for all the school activities get "heard" and everyone else who is busy working, caring for family members, travelling, etc, don't get heard.

I may sound lazy or selfish, but I have a babysitter watch the kids at night so I can do something with dh abut 3 times per year. Hiring once several times a month so I can go to some meeting or other.
post #6 of 48
I am a micromanager of my childs PreK experience and happy to do so. The school I am pulling him out of doesnt have anything, no newsletter, no activity board, no parental involvment, NOTHING. Its such a yucky place, it feels like the parents just dont care, and neither does anyone else.

I like to see other moms involved BUT I do not belive that you should feel obligated, I can understand being a busy working mom who feels pressure to be "supermom" and you dont have to be.

I like that preschools are kind of a "democracy."
post #7 of 48
Everything's got to be one big competition nowadays. Children are trained from day one to be preparing for a perfect SAT score so they can get into a competitive college and get a high paying job. Everyone has to feel like their kid is a "genius in training" - hence the development of Baby Einstein, et. al.
I watched a local news segment yesterday that showed grade school kids learning yoga. 10 bucks says that they know yoga, but don't get recess; they know the staple crop of some obscure indigenous people, but don't know how to spell.
We're educating more and more and learning less and less. Why? Because we're exhausting kids with our expectations and destroying their natural desire to learn.
That and television/video games/computers. They also play a big role in this.
I didn't have homework until I was in the 8th grade. Before that, I came home from school and played outside until it was dark, then I came inside and read a book because I wanted to. Not because I had a 2nd grade history project due (which are just done by the parents anyway).
And where does the competition come from? The parents. This is one of the reasons why I can't stand most parenting forums nowadays. Everyone is so competitive with how they raise their kids. I nursed my kid longer than you nursed yours, I started solids later, mine crawled before yours...
And all this competition gets us nowhere. Maybe it drives us to purchase a little more useless stuff (yay consumerism), but that's about it.
Sorry so bitter. In a nutshell, I agree with you, OP.
post #8 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by silly_scout View Post
Everything's got to be one big competition nowadays. Children are trained from day one to be preparing for a perfect SAT score so they can get into a competitive college and get a high paying job. Everyone has to feel like their kid is a "genius in training" - hence the development of Baby Einstein, et. al.
I watched a local news segment yesterday that showed grade school kids learning yoga. 10 bucks says that they know yoga, but don't get recess; they know the staple crop of some obscure indigenous people, but don't know how to spell.
We're educating more and more and learning less and less. Why? Because we're exhausting kids with our expectations and destroying their natural desire to learn.
That and television/video games/computers. They also play a big role in this.
I didn't have homework until I was in the 8th grade. Before that, I came home from school and played outside until it was dark, then I came inside and read a book because I wanted to. Not because I had a 2nd grade history project due (which are just done by the parents anyway).
And where does the competition come from? The parents. This is one of the reasons why I can't stand most parenting forums nowadays. Everyone is so competitive with how they raise their kids. I nursed my kid longer than you nursed yours, I started solids later, mine crawled before yours...
And all this competition gets us nowhere. Maybe it drives us to purchase a little more useless stuff (yay consumerism), but that's about it.
Sorry so bitter. In a nutshell, I agree with you, OP.
: Have you read gatto?

OP-dont do it if you havent, not this week anyways.
post #9 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo View Post

Then the school sends home piles of papers every day trying to get me "involved." I don't even beleive the kindy should be full day, I certainly think it's crazy that I should spend a lot of time outside school dealing with school stuff.
The thing is, there are a few developmentally appropraite private kindys around, if I want to send her- but they all seem to expect- no DEMAND a serious committment to "education/school"- on the part of parent. And it only gets worse as kids get older.

The thing is I think it's absurd that every thing in my kids life (and my life) should be about school. I don't even understand really what the point of school is- other than that's where all kids in our society go during the day.

I feel like school is this inquenchable monster trying to take over my kid's mind.

WOW

It seems that what you need is really a babysitter and not a school
post #10 of 48
My cousins are 9 and 6 and the 9 yr old has 3 hours of home work some nights. She gets on the bus at 8:00 and gets home at 4:00. And now they're trying to take away recess at her school. I'm really worried about the future of our children if things keep going this way.

Going to school and being overly academic, I believe, doesnt set children up better for going to college. DH's whole family was homeschooled and they all went to colleges, one of them Yale so I wish that the "system" would realize all this pressure isnt only not necessary but detrimental in a lot of cases.
post #11 of 48
Harvard and Stanford (as well as most other colleges) do totally understand that homeschooling is just as valid (perhaps even more so?) than institutionalized schooling.

And yes, OP, I have thought all of those things...that it's ridiculous that it can't all be done in school, IF school is really necessary at all. And that is entirely why we homeschool and even more particularly, why we unschool. It's by far, I believe, the BEST way to get a fantastic education.
post #12 of 48
Yes, I do feel as you do. My son is 3.5 and I feel sick at the prospect of his induction into the "school system". Yuck.
post #13 of 48
I'd hire a babysitter for the hours you work and homeschool when you get home. Kindy is really that crazy nowadays? Yikes. :
post #14 of 48
A friend of mine just started a public school kindergarten and he had homework on the 1st day. You guessed it, by the 3rd day he was saying "I hate school."

I find this IDIOTIC. To put it mildly. There is no reason on earth a freaking 5-year-old should have homework!! I mean, the full day is bad enough.

Judith Warner had an essay in the NYT recently about this--the demand for parental involvement in schools being so incredibly high now. (and that mothers with jobs get penalized because no, they can't come to the afternoon tea, etc etc on Wednesdays because they're at work!!) It all makes me want to run screaming for the hills.
post #15 of 48
I thought I was going to hate it, but my DD actually is having more fun in K than she did at preschool.

It helps that the enrollment for half day K is so low that there's 15 kids total in her class, she got the laid-back and very individual oriented veteran teacher (though I suppose it's easier for her to be focused on the each individual when you've only got 15 kids in the class). There's not much in the way of parent activities during the day for K. And the PTA offers free babysitting through the Y on their PTA meeting nights (which I was extremely surprised by, pleasantly, though the meetings happen in the evening during my kids' bedtime, so they stay home with daddy).

My DD likes the "homework" (once a week, normally a writing exercise or a signoff sheet on what books she read/was read at home, though one time it was for her to sing the song they'd been working on that week ), and her class was pestering the teacher for two weeks to get it started.

I do still think that the PS system is mainly set up to prepare people for cubicle/corporate jobs vs. entrepreneurial, ect. I guess I'll evaluate things as they come.

I have heard about schools increasing their outreach and expectation of parental involvement, but I've always heard it pitched as their idea of "helping" parents realize that school is not just a glorified babysitter. I think the guilt trip approach is a little much though. It's only going to stress out the people who naturally would have been involved, irritate those on the fence, and the people who wouldn't have been involved at all won't care anyway. I would like to see more activities geared towards working parents as well as SAHP though. I think our school (which is very small) does a pretty good job of this, but I can see how in other schools it would take awhile for the bureaucratic mind to catch up.
post #16 of 48
I don't quiiiiite agree with you that kindy should not be full day, my dd went to full day kindy, and was a summer birthday, too, and she was fine. Everybody in her class was. Most kids can handle a lot more than you'd think.: If your dd is having troubles, though, is there a different school around? Or even preschool? Are you the type of person who thinks it's best to be oldest or youngest?
post #17 of 48
I think it depends on your kids school. I love my kids school and they do not over whelm you but I don't mind getting involved.I actually paid for my DD to go to all day kindy last year and it was worth it to me. Perhaps you can research different districts and try to find one that better suits you so you don't have to shell out the money for private. Charter schools are often more "parent run".
post #18 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naless View Post
WOW

It seems that what you need is really a babysitter and not a school
Ditto. I don't go to all of those things myself. The ones that we think are valuable are split up between dp and I. You don't have to go to all the meetings. Probably the two most important ones are school board meetings and parent/teacher meetings. You can probably get the minutes sent to you for school board meetings to at least keep up and you can call the teacher to try to schedule a parent teacher meeting that's convenient for you. I know my dh has even done ones just over the phone.

As for everything else it really depends on what you want your child involved in. And how much you wanted your social life to revolve around the parents of the kids you child hangs around with.

Learning how to say no doesn't mean saying no to everything. I do know if my dp worked 100 hours a week and was traveling all of the time, I would be going crazy and it would have nothing to do with dd's school.

Unfortunately due to NCLB testing in 3rd grade kindergarten for many school districts has become the new 1st grade. My dd is right after the cut off and I was originally going to campaign to get her put in school right before she turned 5. After reading up on it I'm no longer going to campaign for it. We haven't been drilling her everyday on letters and numbers. We've been letting her come to it on her own and her preschool does the same thing. Red shirting or purposely holding back a child from kindergarten is a big thing where my sil lives for various reasons. You might consider doing this for your child if you really are that opposed to what's being done for your child.
post #19 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by fuller2 View Post
I find this IDIOTIC. To put it mildly. There is no reason on earth a freaking 5-year-old should have homework!! I mean, the full day is bad enough.


Kindergarten has gone from being an easy transition into school life, in which young children spent half a day among other children, playing with clay and paint or running around outside, to a totally age-inappropriate academic pressure-cooker. They are doing things in kindergarten now that they used to save for second or third grade! Children should be taught things as they are mentally ready to receive them, not the minute we can get our hands on them.
post #20 of 48
Agreeing with those who say it depends on the school. My dd did 1/2 day kindergarten and loved it. Had homework 1-2X a week that involved reading a really short, simple story.

The parent involvement stuff is important, I believe studies have shown that the more parents are involved in the school the better it is all around. Of course, if you are too busy because of your life circumstances, that just is what it is and you shouldn't feel guilty about it or be condemned for it. You are certainly not at fault! On the other hand, I don't think you should be disparaging parent involvement because a lot of parents do have time and it is a positive thing for the school.

Some perspective: I've had my dd in the Vietnamese school system for the last 2 years and it makes the US school system look like HEAVEN. We can't wait to get back and get her into a somewhat saner school system!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › I hate "education"- rant!