I think that there are other options that you can do and be able to not work and stay home with your kids at least part time. You can cut your expenses by down sizing your home, frugal everything you can....no cable, net flix, dial up 'net, no eating out etc.
I am so sorry you hate your job as much as you do, I've been there and I am staying home with DS till he goes to school or I make the jump to home school.
Here is what all I had to do to stay home, I was making 25,000.00 yr. not a huge amount but I had a steady pay check where DH doesn't.
We co-house with DH grandparents (who are more like his parents) that cut our housing expenses by SOOO much. It's a little cramped but have two extra people around does make it way easier.
I watch a little girl during the week days, and that brings in a few extra hundred dollars a month.
We do not eat out (sometimes fast food if we are out but we cut as far back as we can) we watch the gas, food, clothes (2nd hand), etc. bills.
DH and I are dirt poor right now, he has been out of work for awhile....But I am happier than I could ever be staying at home. I don't need stuff to make me happy yk?
I think that if you need to be home now go for it, but know that you are going to be really broke for two years.(and all the interest from your bills) I never knew the stress of being broke until two years ago, but stress about money sucks. Please research and have a good plan.
I hope that you find a new job. The boss that you have is toxic and you need to RUN away. I do hope that you feel better, this is hard but let go of your mommy guilt. You are doing the best you can, there is no right or wrong way.