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40+ It's Autumn ~ Time for Change

post #1 of 934
Thread Starter 
Here we go ladies. We were hanging out in Summer when we need to move on to the next season in our lives. May this one be filled with the fullness of harvest.
post #2 of 934
Well said. Let this fall be the beginning of a full and joyous season for all of us!

To continue the discussion from the other thread and to answer a few questions thrown at me. We're looking a one egg donor that my doctor saw yesterday and didn't think she was "spectacular" (his words) in terms of potential egg production. After working with the same agency during this whole process, my DH and I thought maybe we should try another agency. We had changed fertility doctors about 8 months ago just because. While I liked my first doctor a lot, we hadn't gotten results so we thought a change of scenery might change up the karma a little bit. We're now possibly doing the same with another egg donor agency. They already have one potential girl who we really like. So maybe this is what we need to jumpstart this whole process and have some good luck for a change.

As for medicated or natural cycles, I've been on the pill for a few months so that we know where I am so we can adjust at any time depending on the donor's cycle. Did I answer that question correctly?
post #3 of 934
I am so here!! I'm 42 TTC #2 - naturally..so far. I don't know too much about what a fertility specialist does, but I have been lurking around the TTC threads and trying to familiarize myself with "all things related to fertility." How many months would you all suggest TTC naturally before you make an appt. with a fertility specialist?

Can my regular M.D. schedule a FSH test? If it's a blood test that is. I'm trying to decide if that's the first step in determining that you are actually ovulating. Heck, before coming to MDC I thought you O every month...I never knew But, it sounds like if you get a FSH # below 10 that's good and means you're probably O? Is that correct?

Oh, geez, I need help :
post #4 of 934
Oh, one more thing to Veganmama. Obviously, talk with your fertility doctor about the thought of your sister being the donor. I totally see the logic if she's willing to do it. My first doctor said (when discussing the *many* options available when it was determined that my eggs were "toast") that while it would be nice to find a younger friend, sister or family member to be the donor, it could present problems in the future. What IF that person doesn't agree with how you're raising your child? What IF a problem develops in your relationship with that person? Would that other person at *any* time say something saying that your child is theirs (not legally but biologically)? Things like that is why my doctor prefers anonymous egg donors. They have no legal right to your child and no right to an opinion. Just something to think about, that's all.
post #5 of 934
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovbeingamommy View Post
I am so here!! I'm 42 TTC #2 - naturally..so far. I don't know too much about what a fertility specialist does, but I have been lurking around the TTC threads and trying to familiarize myself with "all things related to fertility." How many months would you all suggest TTC naturally before you make an appt. with a fertility specialist?

Can my regular M.D. schedule a FSH test? If it's a blood test that is. I'm trying to decide if that's the first step in determining that you are actually ovulating. Heck, before coming to MDC I thought you O every month...I never knew But, it sounds like if you get a FSH # below 10 that's good and means you're probably O? Is that correct?

Oh, geez, I need help :
My GP suggests going to a fertility specialist after TTC 3 months if you are over 40. That's why I am going Monday even this is only CY 4. SHe however suggested that I NOT do a FSH test since if my FSH was too high the clinic will just tell me to go home.

FSH is a measure of ovarian reserve, not whether you O every month. If your ovarian reserve is low, you may still O every month but you may only have lower quality eggs left.

I would highly recommend BBT charting as a first step as it tells you lots of things, like whether you are ovulating, if your luteal phase is long enough etc etc.

You came to the right place, the women here are very supportive and very helpful.
post #6 of 934
Quote:
Originally Posted by hockeylover View Post
Oh, one more thing to Veganmama. Obviously, talk with your fertility doctor about the thought of your sister being the donor. I totally see the logic if she's willing to do it. My first doctor said (when discussing the *many* options available when it was determined that my eggs were "toast") that while it would be nice to find a younger friend, sister or family member to be the donor, it could present problems in the future. What IF that person doesn't agree with how you're raising your child? What IF a problem develops in your relationship with that person? Would that other person at *any* time say something saying that your child is theirs (not legally but biologically)? Things like that is why my doctor prefers anonymous egg donors. They have no legal right to your child and no right to an opinion. Just something to think about, that's all.
Hi Juls! My sister and I are very close even though I am 8 years older. I think the only reason she might be unwilling is what she'd have to go through to harvest the eggs. She's kind of wimpy I know she thinks I am a great mom and she's very close to my kids but she loves to go home to her quiet house, LOL. She's due any day with her first (and she says only). Anyway, I totally take your (and your doc's) point though. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that however.
My DH's cousin has IVF twin DSs and an IUI DD. The sperm for all 3 kids was donated by his brother since he is sterile due to a childhood surgery. Now one of the twins (2 years old) has cancer and is currently undergoing chemo and radiation and has had surgery. He will probably be sterile too because of all this. There is already family joking about who is going to provide sperm for him when he is grown up!

I hope you find the perfect donor,
post #7 of 934
Thread Starter 
Welcome to all the new ladies!!!!
We have opted to go the natural route. I do supplement with herbs and started Vitex this cycle so we will see. I am heading into the 2WW I haven't got my crosshairs but I think I will tomorrow.
Did taking Vitex cause anyone to O a couple days early? I was hopign to start Acupuncture this cycle too but I have to drive an hour each way to the nearest practitioner and we are one car family right now. So if I am not pg this cycle maybe I can work it out to start next cycle.
post #8 of 934
Thread Starter 
Oops change that FF just gave me crosshairs. TCOYF hasn't yet. Looks like maybe good timing this cycle.
post #9 of 934
yay, an Autumn thread. Welcome to the new folks.

I'm likely not going to be ttc for a bit as I've just miscarried and for various reasons need to wait at a couple of calender months before trying again. But I want to try to keep up with the threads -- the companionship is very nice.
post #10 of 934
Thread Starter 
Zyla I'm so sorry Take the time to heal.
post #11 of 934
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganmama719 View Post
Hi Juls! My sister and I are very close even though I am 8 years older. I think the only reason she might be unwilling is what she'd have to go through to harvest the eggs. She's kind of wimpy I know she thinks I am a great mom and she's very close to my kids but she loves to go home to her quiet house, LOL. She's due any day with her first (and she says only). Anyway, I totally take your (and your doc's) point though. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that however.
My DH's cousin has IVF twin DSs and an IUI DD. The sperm for all 3 kids was donated by his brother since he is sterile due to a childhood surgery. Now one of the twins (2 years old) has cancer and is currently undergoing chemo and radiation and has had surgery. He will probably be sterile too because of all this. There is already family joking about who is going to provide sperm for him when he is grown up!

I hope you find the perfect donor,
Good luck to your sister delivering her first. Very exciting for everyone.

The fact that she's that much younger than you is a good thing in terms of egg viability. Obviously, it's all up to her if she's willing and willing to deal with the shots. With a new baby, that may be enough of a deal breaker of too many things to deal with. And if she's breastfeeding, she won't want those hormones in her system. For me, when I breastfed, I didn't get my period for those 14 months which means I wasn't ovulating. FWIW, when I did IVF and the subsequent suppression shots for the egg transfer, I had no problems with the shots. They didn't effect me hormonally/emotionally. I felt like I was my usual "bitchy" self or maybe I was so wacky that people were afraid to say anything. Seriously, except for some bruising (I get black and blue easily), I had no other reactions but I totally realize that it's an individual thing in terms of reactions.

While I understand what my doctor was saying in terms of an anonymous donor in terms of no one will then have a right to an opinion on anything, I see the point of G-d forbid there's a medical need, then you know who can turn to biologically. Valid arguments for both sides. My good thoughts are going to your DH's cousin's son. At least it sounds like everyone is being positive and has a sense of humor.

To Lovbeingamommy, after I miscarried a 3rd time (very early, like within days of missing a period) and my doctor knew we had been trying, she recommended a fertility doctor because of age. Consult with your regular OB-GYN because he/she will certainly have recommendations and you might need to get the actual referral as opposed to just cold calling the office to set up an appointment. But after 3 months of TTC, at our age, sadly, I wouldn't wait too long to consult with a specialist.
post #12 of 934
Thanks for starting this new thread massingmommy.

We are TTC naturally, I am 44 and my DH and I agreed we would try during 2007 but not do any medical intervention. I can feel myself starting to accept that this probably won't happen - I don't think of a babe as much and don't obsess at the end of my cycle. But it is a sadness. It has been great to be on the last thread, the support here is wonderful.
post #13 of 934
Hugs to everyone who has had losses, especially recently.

Like many of you I am trying not to obsess, realize that this might not happen again for me and to be thankful for the blessings I already have.

It is working to a certain extent.

Today I am 9 DPO but my temps, while above coverline, are not looking very good compared to my two (viable) pregnancy charts. I've had a least 2 chemical PGs.

Tomorrow is my appointment at the fertility clinic and DH has an SA the next day. I guess I'll wait to see what she has to say before deciding how much longer we will TTC or what steps we would be willing to take.

Have a great day ladies, I am off to the Springsteen concert tonight!
post #14 of 934
Welcome to all the new gals over 40: hockeylover, lovebeingamommy, zyla, veganmama...I've probably left out someone, so please forgive me. Zyla, sorry you are dealing with the disappointment of your m/c.

The over 40 thread has always been a great one, in my mind. For those of you who don't know me, I'm single, 43.5, and ttc with donor sperm (or "date" sperm, if I'm lucky enough to find myself in a relationship now and again). I've just relocated to Boston (anyone else here?) and haven't ttc-d for the past few months, but am ready to try again. I'm so excited that my chart showed O with good post-o temps so far...with an O date of CD 21, which is late for me. (I'm curious to see how long this cycle will be). I've had cycles shorter than 21 days in the past year... However, I'm jealous of Laurie's cycles, with CD 10 O-ing and 14 day LP's.

One thing I noticed in this new thread is the addition of moods under people's names, and it's upsetting to read "stressed", "sad", "blah" etc in those boxes. We need to find a way to become happier and more balanced in order to be primed for pregnancy. Acupuncture is a great relaxation device for me. I love lying on the table unable to move much, in the dark. I often doze off. Yoga is also good (although I must admit that I haven't taken a class in ages). Meditation is good, too.

I look forward to getting to know you all better.

Ms GB
post #15 of 934
Good morning good women!

10 DPO for me today and I PIAC and used an internet cheapie HPT. Wouldn't normally have done that this early, especially since my temps aren't great but I have my appointment at the fertility clinic this noon hour so I figured, "what the heck". BFN of course.

Nice to meet you mrsgoodbuns, I haven't tried acupunture yet for TTC although I have used it in the past for back pain. I loved it but it is amazingly time consuming. I remember when I was going there were all these women TTC and some had been going 5 times a week for months. And sometimes we'd be there for 2 hours!
I do yoga 1-2 times a week. I try to do more but it doesn't usually work out.
You are right though, I am trying to work on being more "zen" about this whole thing. That is probably easier for me to say than some, I realize, in that I already had to sweet kidlets.

Blessings to you all
post #16 of 934
Hey, all

I think my body is starting to notice that I am 41 now.....:

I usually don't O until CD 17-22. This month I decided to start doing OPK's early since I just got PPAF back from nursing. So many variables who knows what might happen. Thought since I am older I might O sooner. Well yesterday at CD 14 at 2 p.m. it was negative but very close. At 8p.m. last night it was positive. By this morning my temp has already spiked. I almost missed it! Whew.

I don't really expect a BFP since it's only our second PPAF....so I'm going to TRY not to obcess this month. Try, try, try.

I don't know why I can't not obcess about this. I have five healthy children. I feel selfish sometimes. But I think I'm feeling my age and wondering if this might be my last chance. DH is more than fine with our family. I wish I could join him........I must be just crazy!

My thoughts are with those of you ttc for the first time. Please know I realize how lucky I am and I hope you don't mind me joining you. I've never had trouble conceiving before--this getting old thing is new for me.

Dee
post #17 of 934
Hi Dee, I hope you caught that eggie! Lots of women O earlier when they are (ahem) "older". I think it is our bodies way of getting more chances to conceive in! That said I always O'd later when I was nursing.

Well, I still am nursing my 3.5 year old but it is only 1-2 times a day, it doesn't seem to be affecting my Oing anymore!

AFM, I just got back from my first fertility appointment.

I had been worried about my Cycle Day 3 estrogen level result from earlier this cycle. From what I had read on the internet, it was too high, suggesting diminished ovarian reserve. But the doctor actually said it is "perfect"!

I am so relieved! She also said I know more about fertility than most of her medical students (she also teaches at the university medical school).

So I am having all my levels redone and some extra ones (Like FSH and prolactin) on CD 3 (which will likely be this coming Monday as AF is due Saturday) and an ultrasound to check for structural issues. Then on CD 21 my progsterone will get checked and we are also going to set up the new version of the HSG which doesn't hurt. She doubts my tubes are blocked but it also can tell whether there are polyps in the uterus which are quite common and can prevent implantation.

She doesn't actually think there is anything wrong, these tests are just to rule stuff out. And they are covered by my insurance.

Thanks for listening!
Good luck to all!
post #18 of 934
Thread Starter 
veganmama that is good news
post #19 of 934
Hi everyone, it took me a while to catch on to the fact that there was a new thread!

Welcome new mamas! By way of introduction, I am rapidly approaching 44 (in just over a month) and have been TTC since last summer when I lost my son in a freak miscarriage after CVS. I wasn't TTC that time; in fact, I stopped TTC when I turned 40 and became pregnant six months later with dd (now 2 1/2). Daniel was an even bigger surprise, but after I lost him I realized how much I would love to have another child. It's been a rough year, since I have been pregnant twice since and lost both.

I did not TTC this cycle although it was my first ovulatory one since my surgery in August. But I am charting and everthing looked good. I am pinning a lot of hopes on the next cycle, though, and should O in early November, God willing. Dh and I will be traveling then, separated by one day, as we head to Southern California. Just after I O he will be going to Japan for 26 days, and I am not sure whether we'll have a chance to try again in December. But I am really hoping we don't have to...

If the November cycle works I would have a BFP around my birthday. :

We have decided to TTC naturally with no intervention, having been through all of that (for five years) to no avail in my late 30s. It was far too stressful for me; TTC naturally is stressful enough!

Good luck to all who hope to catch eggs this month!
post #20 of 934
Oops, forgot to sub. On the subject of moods, mine has vacillated between sleeplessness, extreme irritation with dh, and today's calm resignation. (I can't do the little mood button with my browser and don't feel like trying to switch browsers so I can.*)

But MsGoodBuns (it's always great to hear from you, BTW), you are right that we should be trying to feel more cheerful and optimistic. I hope that I will soon, now that I seem to be sleeping again.

Dd and I are going to a masquerade ball wedding in a couple of weeks and I am finally starting to get excited about working on our costumes. I found some great material for etherial cloaks -- stretchy, sparkly stuff -- at the local 5&10 store and dd has turned hers into a baby wrap -- first tying her "kikky-kak" on her back, then on front, then making a sling and putting her to sleep... so precious.
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