Wow--sometimes these things really DO have happy endings!
I've been reading along and when I first read this I had red flags in my head for the husband's soon to be ex. But I guess she really will stay out of the way--yes? I mean, she isn't related to the child in any way, so she can't step back in somehow, can she? I would just hate to see your famiy, OP, get blindsided by some freaky back door thing.
I am so glad for you...and how sweet to hear that your dd will be there for the birth of the new baby.
I really think you have had your dd's best interests at heart--and it looks like the universe worked in your favor due to the positive energy you've been putting out there.
In this situation there were really just too many players involved. If the families could have gotten along, and included me and respected me as dd's mother.. it could have worked fine and been much happier the past 5 years. But I had to constantly try to squeeze myself back into dd's life, and the step mother fought to squeeze me out. I really saw it as a chance for her to have MORE people to love her and care for her, but her stepmother didn't see it that way I guess.
I don't foresee any problems arising from her though. If in the future she and my ex husband and my dd decide they want her to have some sort of relationship based on what they had.. I will not oppose it. As long as its not taking time away from her life here like it was. (when I had her weekends, and the step mother had her all week even though she didn't live with my ex anymore. LOL That was crazy.) And of course, as long as its something my dd wants.
I just got off the phone with my ex and confirmed that tomorrow night I'm going down there to pick up dd's things. He sounded happy on the phone. Go figure. All my worry for nothing.
You can tell I'm a mother I guess.