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Ex dh is divorcing again. DD losing stepmom.. Its Monday!! Party time! - Page 5

post #81 of 84
What a wonderful turn of events for you and your DD, Nature! I'm glad you will be able to mother her primarily for awhile, especially at this vulnerable time for her. She is also entering that pre-teen phase when girls really need their moms in a special way!

My only comment about your situation is that it DOESN'T make sense to me that your exhusband would have her for more time just because he makes more money. In California where I live, child support, custody, and visitation are completely separated. Parents' incomes are not reasons for kids not to be with one parent more and another less, or not at all. There is a presumption of joint physical AND legal custody from the beginning as the natural best interest of the child. So I don't know about Maine, but why should you logically not have your daughter equally with your ex husband?

I guess that is water under the bridge for you, but in terms of the future, you can always go to the court and petition to change your divorce agreement. It is a living document. I have changed mine several times, with the agreement of my ex husband, as our child's needs have changed. Just know that you have every right to be your daughter's rock, her OTHER rock, and to care for her before anyone else does if her father isn't available.

Good luck with your new babe!!!
post #82 of 84
Thread Starter 
In talking to other mothers in the area, and also professionals that see divorce and custody battles in my state a lot.. they all agree that here in Maine, money talks. The parent with the better lawyer and the higher income has a better chance coming out on top.

It states in our custody agreement, when my dd was given to him.. "although (mother) is creative, loving, and emotionally there for (minor child) and clearly bonded, at this time we find that what (minor child) needs more is the financial security that (father) can provide."

It doesn't get much more black and white than that.
post #83 of 84
Wow...I am so shocked, as I am sure you were. How heartbreaking. Well you are perservering for your daughter and she will thrive because of it.
post #84 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature View Post
In talking to other mothers in the area, and also professionals that see divorce and custody battles in my state a lot.. they all agree that here in Maine, money talks. The parent with the better lawyer and the higher income has a better chance coming out on top.

It states in our custody agreement, when my dd was given to him.. "although (mother) is creative, loving, and emotionally there for (minor child) and clearly bonded, at this time we find that what (minor child) needs more is the financial security that (father) can provide."

It doesn't get much more black and white than that.
I definitely agree with you about Maine. There are quite a few non-custodial Mamas in this state and I am talking good loving Mamas yet they had no money when they went to court. So kid goes to dad...its messed up.

Shay
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