Firing our ped b/c she circs? - Page 3

[Papai]

Pandarillo, i just wanted to ask: Are you Jewish , Muslim or Christian?

If you are Christian, there are no "religious" reasons to circ. Just FYI.

[Telle Bear]

WOW!! Some craziness just went on: and out off all that was said and assummed the most OUTRAGEOUS comment for me was

THIS IS MY CHILD NOT YOURS!!!.....am I one of the few that don't see my child as a piece of property?? how about....

IT"S HIS BODY NOT YOURS!!!!

ahhh...I feel better...carry on...

[sophiekat]

Originally Posted by Telle Bear

WOW!! Some craziness just went on: and out off all that was said and assummed the most OUTRAGEOUS comment for me was

THIS IS MY CHILD NOT YOURS!!!.....am I one of the few that don't see my child as a piece of property?? how about....

IT"S HIS BODY NOT YOURS!!!!

ahhh...I feel better...carry on...

bolding mine

[Ruthla]

Personally, I don't think you can change the world all by yourself. You need a ped who respects you as parents and treats your children appropriately. I have not been able to find a ped who doesn't give out formula samples or administer vaccinations to infants- yet I was able to avoid both of those things with my own children during infancy.

If you have a ped who's not knowledgable on intact penises, and is likely to retract the baby at every checkup, that would be a reason to avoid that medical practice. But if the drs know how to care for the intact penis, and don't pressure you to circ, then how does it affect you if they circ other infants in their practice?

[Mommiska]

If you are able to find a ped who does not circ, I would absolutely move practices.

And I would let my old ped know exactly why I was moving practices.

That is the way to stop this atrocity - to hit doctors in the pocket book.

If they lost patient after patient because they circed - you can betcha they would stop circing.

You are only one person, that's true - but if you leave, and tell them why you are leaving, you may well start them thinking and researching...and that has got to be a good thing.

[carriebft]

It depends on how you see "affect." Some might just not want to be anywhere near it or give money to fund someone who does it. That kinda thing. It's also possible that this doctor, while they dont recommend circ to you and know how to care for intact penis, bolsters the myths to patients who DO want to circumcise their sons. I avoid all that by just going to a practice that doesn't do it or offer it.

[gridley13]

Originally Posted by pandarillo

While I appreciate your information, I am informed already on both sides of the fence of this issue. You seem to be foregtting that this isn't your child, it's mine. I would like to take a deep breath and not be rude, but it is incredibly arrogant to assume that a mother to be is doing something out of ignorance and she needs to be "enlightened" so that she may make the right decision. I can have whatever birth plan I want , and preferences out the wazzoo, but if something doesn't "fit in" with what you feel is "natural" then, I'm not allowed to do it? This doens't make sense to me. In the end, I don't have to defend my choices, my faith, or my beliefs to anyone , and I don't ask you to defend yours to me. There are all kinds of people that live in the US of all different backgrounds, races and religions, and if they have children there are going to be differences in the decisions they make , it doesn't mean they are bad parents or that they don't love their kids, it just means they are different. Your level of acceptance is really counter to the "tolerance" and " activism" that your background and posts would suggest as well.

I understand your feelings. I want to clarify that I never say a word to other mamas about parenting choices. I only speak up when it comes to a child's safety or a child's rights. Regardless of the law, circumcision is not a parenting choice. It has nothing to do with parenting. So I hope you do not leave this thread thinking your parenting choices are being questioned.

[secretresistance]

I so sincerely hope that pandarillo reconsiders. My heart breaks thinking of her little boy being welcomed with such violence.

Ruthla--$$ is a big motivator in the medical world. I'm not giving mine to someone who needlessly mutilates a patient who hasn't even given consent.

[carriebft]

Plus if your practice doesn't perform circumcisions, you don't have to wonder if the screaming you are hearing is due to a boy having his penis skinned. :

[wednesday]

I don't think there is a doctor around where we live who does not circ, and when I think about it it makes me sick. On the other hand maybe it helps challenge some assumptions, for doctors to see intact boys who never have any problems.

[savvybabygrace]

Just got off the phone with our ped's office; they switched the day and time of our appointment and now we won't even be seeing our ped, just a NP. I'm a bit miffed about this, having wanted to discuss with her our views and give her the heads up that we are very uncomfortable/unhappy with the entire practices views on circumcision.
Guess I'll have to wait to say something to her...
But this leaves me more time to get/make an intactivist shirt to wear to the visit.

***
Also, I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow. We're going to have a playdate with a friend and her daughter. This friend is 40 weeks pregnant and they don't know the gender. I'm terrified it's going to be a boy and that they'll circ him, we've never brought up circ before so I'll find out tomorrow what they plan on doing. I'm nervous asking and bringing this up because it's the first time I've talked with a pregnant friend about this. I speak about it to family members and other friends, but it seems harder for some reason to talk to this friend. Maybe it's because of her sensitive nature, maybe because her dh is a pastor...who knows. I'm feeling like a skittish kitten! Nonetheless I'm going to same something about circ and hopefully encourage her NOT to! Wish me luck! I'll post an update later tomorrow.

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by pandarillo

I would switch, even though we are getting our baby circumcised when he is born, I would never stay with someone who didn't share our views on something so important


What if it's a choice based on religous reasons? .

Since you said at birth in the first post you wrote, I would NOT assume you are Jewish, since Jews wait 8 days. So i'm not sure what religious reasons you would be referring to??

It strikes me odd that someone circumcising for religious reasons would expect that a medical doctor would be the source for the religious aspect (ie, as I interpreted it, you implied you would switch if a doctor did NOT circumcise)??

I agonized over this decision and my husband and I are at peace with what our faith and our intellect have told

What does your intellect say?

What about honouring your INSTINCTS to protect and nurture your baby? How are they feeling?? Every one else has also brought up your son's rights too... how will he feel about this?


Jessica

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by savvybabygrace

Also, I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow. We're going to have a playdate with a friend and her daughter. This friend is 40 weeks pregnant and they don't know the gender. I'm terrified it's going to be a boy and that they'll circ him, we've never brought up circ before so I'll find out tomorrow what they plan on doing. I'm nervous asking and bringing this up because it's the first time I've talked with a pregnant friend about this. I speak about it to family members and other friends, but it seems harder for some reason to talk to this friend. Maybe it's because of her sensitive nature, maybe because her dh is a pastor...who knows. I'm feeling like a skittish kitten! Nonetheless I'm going to same something about circ and hopefully encourage her NOT to! Wish me luck! I'll post an update later tomorrow.

Good luck to you!

Jessica

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by pandarillo

I wish everyone the best on this thread, I won't be visiting again, and I regret any offense I caused. I respect all of your decisions and hope you all have the best futures with your children, I'm sure you love them very much and that you mean well with your suggestions.

I'm sorry you are leaving this thread, I have to say, I WISH you knew that this is not about just this small group of people, but the position on circumcision is MDC's-- although MDC does not comment on religious circumcision (which you didn't really explain initially). I copied the MDC User Agreement below, the bolding is mine:

Jessica

MotheringDotCommune User Agreement
These are the terms of use that you as a member agree to uphold as a member of the MotheringDotCommune:


Mothering.com is the website of natural family living and advocates natural solutions to parenting challenges. We host discussion of nighttime parenting, loving discipline, natural birth, homebirth, successful breastfeeding, alternative and complementary home remedies, informed consent, and many other topics from a natural point of view. We are not interested, however, in hosting discussions on the merits of crying it out, physical punishment, formula feeding, elective cesarean section, routine infant medical circumcision, or mandatory vaccinations. We do not tolerate any type of discrimination in the discussions, including but not limited to racism, heterosexism, classism, religious bigotry, or discrimination toward the disabled. We will not host discussions that involve explicit sexual references and are cautious about discussions on volatile topics such as abortion, religion, and race. See statement of purpose below.

MDC serves an online community of parents, families, and parent, child and family advocates considering, learning, practicing, and advocating attachment parenting and natural family living. Our discussions concern the real world of mothering and are first and foremost, for support, information, and community. Mothering invites you to read and participate in the discussions. In doing so we ask that you agree to respect and uphold the integrity of this community. Through your direct or indirect participation here you agree to make a personal effort to maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere for our guests and members.

[bluegrassgirl]

You might try looking for a doctor who only does circumcisions for religious reasons, rather than medical reasons. This might be easier, because most doctors have done at least 1 circumcision, and I have heard that this is pretty common in the medical field. Another possibility is to find a female doctor. They are less pushy when it comes to the circumcision debate.

If I have a boy, I am not going to get him circumcised, but I wouldn't switch doctors just for that reason. I'd rather educate and also stay in the same room with the baby at all times, to make sure nothing "wrong or painful" happened.

Jessie
(single mommy to Emma, 4 years and Angela, 2 years)

[mamoma]

I understand why people are getting upset, but in fairness, I really don't think that Pandarillo violated the UA. She didn't debate or discuss the merits of circumcision - she simply stated - in a post *encouraging* the OP to stick to HER convictions - that she had reached a different conclusion. I understand that people felt compelled to try to change her mind, but I don't think it's fair to pull out the UA and accuse her of breaking the rules.

[gridley13]

She wasn't accusing her of breaking the UA. She was explaining that it is the stated position of the site.

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by mamoma

I understand why people are getting upset, but in fairness, I really don't think that Pandarillo violated the UA. She didn't debate or discuss the merits of circumcision - she simply stated - in a post *encouraging* the OP to stick to HER convictions - that she had reached a different conclusion. I understand that people felt compelled to try to change her mind, but I don't think it's fair to pull out the UA and accuse her of breaking the rules.

By a show of hands...

How many would be here defending the PP if she had stated that her personal choice was to remove her DD's prepuce instead of her son's?

[mamoma]

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

By a show of hands...

How many would be here defending the PP if she had stated that her personal choice was to remove her DD's prepuce instead of her son's?

You're right, I wouldn't do that. And I wasn't defending male circumcision, either. And I wouldn't. And *SHE* wasn't defending male circumcision, she just said, without any elaboration or arguing, that she'd decided that that was what she'd do. There are SO MANY different people on this site doing SO MANY different things, that I think it's safe to say that EVERYONE here reads posts where people state beliefs and intentions that they seriously disagree with... and I just thought that the poster who cited the UA was saying that it was not even permissible to mention that you would circumcise, and I said I didn't *think* that was against the rules. But maybe I misinterpreted the posting of the UA, or maybe I got the rule wrong.

That said, I appreciate your comment, and you've definitely given me something to think about.

[mamoma]

(Also, Fyrestorm, I hope I'm not the reason that you're "crabby". If I am, then I'm sorry).