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who wants to laugh....really hard? - Page 2  

post #21 of 39
10/15/07 at 4:13pm
That thread is hilarious and flapjack has me in tears over here.
post #22 of 39
10/15/07 at 4:19pm
Thread Starter 
Helen! :
post #23 of 39
10/15/07 at 6:19pm
What??? What did I say???

:
post #24 of 39
10/15/07 at 6:27pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by operamommy View Post
See, dh offered last time, but the thought of him that close to my bits with a razor scares the sh&t outta me!!
well, he uses an electric shaver and it pretty much qualifies as foreplay, if you catch my drift!
post #25 of 39
10/15/07 at 6:39pm
I can't wear pants right now 'cause I'd only be able to wear them for one day - I already sweat down there tremendously and have a discharge under normal circumstances - pregnancy has made that so much better I haven't shaved in years, although I now shave my chin every other day - hairy pits I have no problem with, my beard, not so much. My husband is loving all the new smells - he's the guy who was on cloud nine when I made switch to all natural deodorant, the pregnancy funk is like an extra-special desert (I think I'm beyond caring if that's TMI ).
post #26 of 39
10/16/07 at 8:20am
Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
Sorry, forgot one. I tried to take a picture of said vulval varicosity because my bump is so big I can't see my yoni with only one mirror, and my camera screamed and died. THAT's how bad it is.

DH still goes down though TMI?

OMG!! HAHAHA! :
post #27 of 39
10/16/07 at 8:09pm
Yeah...I've started noticing a change in the down-there odor and I don't particularlly care for it. I have to wash my pants like every other day because the smell lingers; usually I can go a week or more before I need to wash a load of jeans. I need to sew up some cloth pads because lately I have so much CM that it feels like I have peed myself and I am getting tired of changing the undies 3x a day. And what is with the bowel changes?! I swear I am pooping more regularly than ever, but the smell is horrendous! Like the stuff has just been hanging for, oh, the last 25 years and is just now deciding to come out. I have been shaving the girly bits completely by touch because there is no way to see down there any more. DP offered to do it for me, but I'm scared he'll pass out when he catches a whiff. Don't worry ladies...I'm sure the stinkiness is coming for all ya'll soon enough, lol!

Ah, pregnancy is a beautiful thing isn't it?
post #28 of 39
10/16/07 at 9:50pm
Great goddess of light, Helen, thank you for that. :

I have to say that while I definately smell different, it's not at all 'icky.' It's a lot heavier than my non-pregnant smell, but it's also vaguely sweet. If my husband was remotely appealing, I could probably get some just by relaxing... it's a decidedly pleasant smell.
post #29 of 39
10/16/07 at 10:33pm
oh wow.
i am so thankful that i got to read that thread and read choice bits of it to dh before i had my very own ridiculous stinky TMI moment yesterday afternoon.

are you people ready for this? i was not ready for this.

i've never had a very well trained colon. my whole life i can't really remember pooping more than two or three times a week. my midwife was very concerned about this fact when i told her early in pregnancy. she insisted that i start using glycerin suppositories and do my best to poo every day and promised that i would thank her later.

oh dear lord how i wish i had listened to this wise woman.

yesterday afternoon i decided that i should probably use a suppository since i hadn't gone in a couple of days and i have a mw appt on thursday and need to give a good report. once the suppository kicked in and i sat on the toilet i knew there something "special" about this poo.

the pressure was so intense, i reached down to feel my perineum only to discover that i was indeed attempting to pass something the size of a grapefruit through my anus. there was a point when i panicked and thought for sure i was going to have to go to the emergency room because i was going to be split in half. there was absolutely no way something this large was going to come out of a hole that small!!

i started thinking through everything i've read about labor and prayed to god for mercy. i used deep breathing, walking, rocking, and some squatting. in time (about 30 minutes) my body took over and i absolutely had to push. it was the most intense feeling ever and i was sure i was being torn to bits but once it was out, i cried from relief.

the size of this poop was so incredible, i INSISTED that dh come and look. we both teared up at the sight, simultaneously proud and terrified at what my body had done. that poo was about 4.5 inches in diameter and almost two feet long. i made gloves out of plastic bags so that i could break it up into pieces small enough to flush (it took 5 flushes to get it all). it had to weigh at least 5 pounds and the first half was ROCK HARD.

needless to say, i waddled around sore for the rest of the day and most of this morning.

that, my friends, is hopefully as disgusting as this pregnancy will get.:
post #30 of 39
10/16/07 at 10:42pm
post #31 of 39
10/16/07 at 10:48pm
mosesface: ahahhahaha! I had bad diarhea cramps and I actually started my hypnobirthing visualization to get through it !! ahhahahahahaha!


LOVE THIS THREAD!

I smell. I wear pantyliners and it doesn't help. I also sweat BAD. I have 3 pairs of pants that fit and am just shocked because the stank lingers! I don't remember this with DS. UGh.. I have to admit I was sitting on the floor with DS playing and I was like "eww what is that.. must be my feet.." NOPE.

ahhh..
post #32 of 39
10/17/07 at 6:03am
OMG mosesface, Sounds like the suppository worked! You got dh and showed him? I think that I am going to pee my pants laughing! You are so funny!
post #33 of 39
10/17/07 at 9:11am
: Rachel!


Such a versatile smiley, so many uses.
The good news is that my vein is shrinking Don't ever get constipated during pregnancy....
post #34 of 39
10/17/07 at 11:14am
OMG mosesface did you happen to see last week's South Park? Eerily similar story lines

At 24 weeks I haven't noticed any thing out of the ordinary except forceful gas that makes the term "wind" meaningful. Not particularly stinky, but it swooshes!

Are most of these issues more prevelant in second, third, etc pregnancies?
post #35 of 39
10/17/07 at 12:57pm
my dh is now the suppository police. every ten minutes for the last two days i hear, "you need to poop. go use a suppository. you have to poop every day."

i think my ginormous poo scarred him for life.
post #36 of 39
10/17/07 at 1:10pm
: OMG mosesface!!!!

This:
Quote:
the size of this poop was so incredible, i INSISTED that dh come and look. we both teared up at the sight, simultaneously proud and terrified at what my body had done.
got me completely hysterical.

"We both teared up at the sight" - ohhh, thank you for the laugh.

Thankfully, I haven't had much by way of the stinkies yet. My one "omigosh I stink" thing is that I am KEENLY aware of the smell of my scalp/hair (and no, it's not my shampoo), which seems to almost always smell dirty to me, even if I've just washed it. If there's even the faintest breeze, I catch a whiff of it (my hair's not quite chin-length), and I find myself rubbing my scalp & sniffing to double-check that it does not, in fact, smell dirty and disgusting. Sensitive pregnancy nose...I hope that whole crotch-stink is faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar off (or better yet, that I just skip that stinky-crotch thing altogether - but it doesn't sound like there's much chance of that happening)!!
post #37 of 39
10/19/07 at 4:19am
TMI Stinky mama's

Well, the funny TMI it is stinky mama's know that they have a fan club now. mosesface check out post 144
post #38 of 39
10/19/07 at 6:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jezzy View Post
TMI Stinky mama's

Well, the funny TMI it is stinky mama's know that they have a fan club now. mosesface check out post 144
: From a stinky December mama!!! mosesface you did out tmi us!!!! I laughed so hard when I read your post!!! BTW I am so constipated that I am jealous by your success!! I think I am going to try the suppository because this stinky mama keeps going to the bathroom and all I do is let out farts!
post #39 of 39
10/19/07 at 6:52am
Quote:
Originally Posted by expectantmami View Post
: From a stinky December mama!!! mosesface you did out tmi us!!!! I laughed so hard when I read your post!!! BTW I am so constipated that I am jealous by your success!! I think I am going to try the suppository because this stinky mama keeps going to the bathroom and all I do is let out farts!
Hi Karen!! How are you doing? I remember you from the one thread in ttc. You December mama's are soooooo funny!! to you all
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