How can she catch up???

[DharmaDisciple]

I hope this is worded so you can understand it!

My dh was kind of okay with homeschool, he wants to support my decision. I was inclined towards Waldorf, so whilst her peers were whizzing away learning the three R's we were doing play and nature. Dh started to get more and more uncomfortable with my choice when he could clearly see her peers reading and writing and my dd couldn't even read.

So last September we started formal reading lessons and I kind of ditched the whole Waldorf slant. She is now reading and is better than some of her peers. But she is still 'behind' (peers, in dh's eyes) in writing- both style and content and behind in maths.

Unfortunately these are not areas I can rush her through, they are too important and she is at the skill building stage, I need to make sure she grasps a concept before she moves on. So we have only just done addition, subtraction and multiplication- next is division (she can do this in real life- this is more paper math writing it down). She can also tell time, knows 3-d and 2-d shapes etc.

Writing she finds physically hard to do and tires after a few sentences!

Dh looked at a private school last week and was bowled over by the standard and the artistic works on display. I know he wants to send her. Every day he tells me how much more my dd could be doing in school (and he is right) So every day I feel under pressure to help dd catch up and to be doing lots so she is learning as much as her peers or it will be school for her.

But all our day seems to be filled with just the basics and little else, all the while her peers are sill ahead....She seems bored with the same old handwriting and maths and bored when I offer her anything- she would rather play. I have to turn this around or dh will send her to school, but can't tell her that or it will pressure her too.

I can draw up a timetable for us to follow nd have an idea of what to study- but the HOW to learn it stumps me, so we end up with workbooks or reading a textbook- which understandably is BORING for both of us. Homeschool is not fun at the moment. Today I gave up and put a movie on for them and I know dh will be cross when he asks when he gets home what have we done!!!!

I wonder whether she will catch up? How many hours a day would we have to do to catch up?

The other option is to buy some teaching manuals they have in schools and follow those ( a bit drawn out but I can skip ahead) as they have lesson plans and activities already planned for you. I think I NEED a curriculum now.

English:

Art

Science

History either this or Story of The World

Or would she gain more knowledge using The Well Trained Mind??

I am trying to do this whilst get my eldest through exams and plan pre-school activities. I am so fed up and need a plan of action like NOW! Ready to show dh.

Is this doable?

[Mom4tot]

Well, I would begin by asking you (nd your dh) what are your goals for your dd? What are you hoping for from homeschooling? Are we talking about your 7 y/o?

We homeschool so the children can learn at their own pace, instead of following someone else's curriculum. I have a 7 y/o boy and he is still working on handwriting. He isn't writing sentences or stories, that's for sure. He is reading (he learned by being read to and asking to spell words, we did almost no phonics or workbook stuff with him).

It sounds like you and your dh need to get a good handle on wht you want and maybe get some consensus. Is she happy? What does she like to do?

Keep talking mama, it will help to sort it out.

[LilyGrace]

Your dd is 7? Would you mind if I typed out one of my 8yo's writing lessons from the beginning of this year?

His very first lesson was
This is a pen.
Blue.
This is a blue pen.
Shiny.
This is a shiny blue pen.

That was lesson 1

Lesson 9 had this:
One morning, I got up and yawned, " Good morning, Tika."
Tika replied, "Feed your dog some food!"
I said, "Uh.....okay." So I fed her.
She said, "Let your dog free."
I replied, "No! You're not going out there or I'll get in trouble!"
She asked, "Where's Raven?"
I said, "Outside."
She asked, "Can I go out there?"
I said, "Yes." I opened the door and let Tika out.

We're using a simple, $20 book (Writing Strands) that's a year below grade level because writing is such a hard thing for him. It's slowly taking him through the different writing styles and giving him the practice he needs in 15 minutes a day so he doesn't feel too overwhelmed.
I sneak writing in other ways, too. He just did his first lap book - a lot of information, but again, in small increments to get him used to writing. He wrote a book and got to type it on the computer when he was done, making it look professional. We halve recipes or double them and he helps rewrite them.



About the WTM, it's more of a curriculum guide for parents. We use some of the resources mentioned (like Story of the World) and some that aren't, because they don't fit the way he learns (bouncing around like a rabbit, most days)

[2 in August]

Just becuse some kids can do more advanced work, doesn't mean they all can or that your dd should. Every child is different, especially at 7yo. Some might not be ready to read and write at all. You and your dh need to talk about what is going on. He obviously wants her to excell and that is great, but he can't expect that at the cost of her emotional wellbeing. If he puts that much pressure on her, chances are that she'll get frustrated and learn even less.

[DharmaDisciple]

Yes, sorry I am talking about my 7 year old.
She is very kinesthetic and imaginative. Favourite thing ever is the trampoline and laughing!!

I have asked dh what he expects and I think it was something along the lines of : to be challenged and stretched to her full potential, to learn something new every day and be exposed to new and exciting things each day along with going out to places.

She is very bright and inquisitive and when I do things with her, she picks them up very quickly. She is now always seen with a book in hand and reads anything she can get hold of!

I always wanted a superior education, ie more depth to the things we learn, for it to mean something to her, for it to be fun with lots of hands on exploration and making things- crafts, lapbooks, displays etc. To incorporate 'Spirit' into it. And I want for a happy family.

If she doesn't 'excel' he will feel it is because of my style of homeschooling. He wants her to know more than her peers (most of whom are of average intelligence). I guess I DO realise if she had been in a private school, she would know a lot more than she knows now.

She is happy just pottering along doing her own thing, but she does have time slots in the day to do that whilst I attend to my ds and my eldest. So I want to get the schooly stuff sorted for her.

[elizawill]

that's a tough one because we are talking about your husband, and he definitely has a right to give input to his children's education. i think you can can find a happy medium though that can fully meet your dd's needs and your dh's concerns. my dd is also a very kinesthetic learner. what i have found to work for us is to follow a scope and sequence. i love having a s&s so I have ideas of what to teach her each year (and month), but I also have the freedom to adapt lessons to meet her learning style. honestly, your dd will never fully be in line with a public school student though. in some areas she will always be advanced and in other areas she may seem behind. that is true though if you compare a student from one county to another student in the same state in another county, yk? or two students from different states. there will always be variances imo.

i can tell you what works for us and you can check out some of the sites to get ideas. they may be helpful...or they may not

as for lessons, i use core knowledge and have been very pleased with them. and they are free - so it was no real investment on my part other than time and ink and paper. you can check out CK here: www.coreknowledge.org i really like the BCP lessons specifically because they lay them out with a monthly s&s. you can see the sequence here (just scroll down to second grade) http://www.baltimorecp.org/lessons/lesson_titles.htm the lessons that follow the sequence are here: http://www.baltimorecp.org/lessons/draft_lessons.html (scroll down to your dd's grade). these lesson don't include math and language arts though - just FYI.

my dd is in a different grade, but our lessons require no writing at all really. they are very hands on. also, i often will create a craft or project that will correlate with the lesson if there isn't one listed. if you don't like a set of lessons (i.e. - you don't like social studies for the month of october) you can reference the s&s and find new lessons with the same theme from another lesson plan site. that's what i do, and it's quite easy to supplement. we also use a monthly theme sometime - for no reason really at all...other than fun

also, i know www.tanglewoodeducation.com and www.amblesideonline.com have full curriculums that are free and may be of some use to you.


anyway, i hope this isn't too much information, and i hope it helps you. there are so many wonderful choices out there in my opinion that can meet everyone's needs in your family. hang in there mama! hugs

[Ruthla]

In a private school, she might have been taught "more stuff" but would she really know more? She might have learned more facts to spit back out at you, but probably not in as much depth. She might have been taught more math stuff but would she truly understand more, or even as much as she does now?

Remember that there's no guarantee that a child is going to learn everything that is taught. Or what her emotional well-being would be like if she was being pressured into more academics than she was truly ready for.

I think you need to talk with your DH about "knowing more" vs "undestanding more." Plus you need to focus on what's best for the child, not "keeping up with the Joneses"

[Lillian J]

I must say this is pretty frustrating, because her dad is on such a different page, and he has no way or realzing how different and satisfying the outcome can be from what he imagines while he's so focused on the race aspect of it. I'm about to run off for an appointment, but I can offer you this article I did on my family's experience - it has some very reassuring comments from my grown son and his dad (who was also skeptical and nervous much of the time):
Homeschooling- It's a Wonderful Life!

And I have more ideas - will be back. Lillian

[Heavenly]

She's 7 and doing multiplication and division? And he thinks she's behind? Wow, my kids must be REALLY behind.

[UnschoolnMa]

I think Dad has some unrealistic or over the top expectations for such a young one really. That must be quite frustrating.

I think she's doing just fine! Homeschooling allows you so much control over what you choose to do and how you do it so I say you really find ways of learning that the your Dd enjoys!

[tallanvor]

I haven't read all the replies, so this might be mentioned elsewhere. One of my questions would be how much does she know that her peers don't know? Expectations are hard because when you look at public and even many private schools, they teach to test. Well, I really have to wonder how well those kids really know their stuff. I remember lots of times I would know a lesson long enough to pass the test, but a few weeks later I didn't know it. I don't know most of what I "learned" in school. But because I can take longer with my kids and make sure they really truly understand what I'm teaching, yeah, they might be behind on something according to the public school, but they are more likely to remember what they've learned. It is not so much how much you know but how well you know what you do know. (make sense?)

I don't know any 7 yr olds doing multiplication and division, so if she can do that, I would think she's ahead. If you need something more hands-on for math, Math-U-See is a good one. For handwriting, try writing letters to family. That's also a good way to work on the correct usages of punctuation and other parts of grammar. While your hubby may not understand this, it is more important to learn than to be on the same page as peers. As my mother-in-law says, "we send our children to school so they can hate to learn." I'm not saying that all schools are bad. But a lot of kids hate to learn because of their experiences at school and sometimes it is because the school expects too much of them. All children are different. You can't find any 2 children that know the same things. Not truly. Hopefully something in this thread has helped.

Crystal

Crystal

[joandsarah77]

Ok I haven’t read through the replies yet, but looking at your siggy, your daughter is 7? She is 7 and can do all that and you think she is behind? I would be so happy if my daughter can do all that by 7. In Finland they only start school at 7, that is when they learn to read let alone do anything else. Guess who has the higher academic standards later? yes Finland, not USA, England or Australia (I'm from Australia) We all follow the same flawed method of lets cram in a lot of subjects in a shallow manner so our kids look good on the surface. later however this shallowness of dipping into so many things but never really getting deep into anything shows, it shows in the lower results our countries all have.

My advice would be to look at a variety of scope and sequences for grade 2 or 3, take the one that requires the least, print it out and show your dh. I think you both need to relax.

[tallanvor]

Just to throw this out, up here in Alaska, kids are not even legally required to be in school until they are 8 yrs old. And the schools here are some of the better ones I've seen. Definitely better than the one my brother went to in Michigan.

Crystal

[momto l&a]

I think your dh needs to take a chill pill :

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by DharmaDisciple

Dh looked at a private school last week and was bowled over by the standard and the artistic works on display.

Was it by any chance an open house? Because every private school goes out of its way for their open houses and tours to impre$$ parent$. Ohmygosh, I've been to some really seductive open houses and tours - and then found out afterward that they had been putting the very best of the best hype out there for it.

Your daughter is way ahead of the game already, regardless of her writing skills. If he's so impressed with the artwork, you could move to that focus for awhile. I'd almost be willing to be that the artwork he saw had been led step by step by a teacher or even directly copied from something she did - unless there just happens to be a good art teacher there who inspired them with some sort of creative activity. But you can get great resources to do the same - here's an MDC thread on that:

Art

Here are some juicy thread here in MDC for other creative ideas that schools don't have much time for but wish they did:

favorite math games/manipulatives

favorite "educational" games

And providing an enriching (unschoolingish) environment

Good luck! Lillian

[momto l&a]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

Was it by any chance an open house? Because every private school goes out of its way for their open houses and tours to impre$$ parent$. Ohmygosh, I've been to some really seductive open houses and tours - and then found out afterward that they had been putting the very best of the best hype out there for it.

The private school I went to didn't do that but they took the best work from all the students to put on display.

[Climbing Rose]

Just throwing this out there, FWIW, if you still want to be relaxed, but have curriculum and look like you have a plan, and be making real progress... Have you considered Sonlight? It is really just mostly reading good living books, but it covers a lot and really makes for some smart kids. I don't personally use it, but a lot of my friends do and they all just love it.

[mamabeca]

Well, I have 2 recommendations:
1. Decide together whether you (as a family) are committed to hs'ing and staick with your decision. You can pick a date to re-eval. say Aug 15 or something, so that if he or you or they are not pleased with where everyone is at, you can do enrollment for the coming year. Don't try to re-eval in the middle of it all, too hard. Once you've committed to being on that track, stick with it and get him to help out! Teach her to repair a vehcile, fix plumbing, build and use a pulley, write a computer program. These are all things that would help to challenge her. PArt of hs'ing is that you ALL participate in the education of your younger family members.

2. Get yourself into some subscribed home school magazines, journals etc. These really bring home the wonderfull outcomes of hs'ing, and also provide ideas to enliven up your month, every month or two. Excellent way support a hs publication, too!

I really admire what you are doing - it's a LOT and she is really doing wonderfully! Not every kid is advanced in every subject. This is as true in school as out of school. If writing is her weak point, then try to do stuff to strengthen it that is fun - like making posters, writing secret codes, putting together a book of recipes, etc. She may need some help building upper body strength, and if you think she needs that, she should be ablet to get some OT through your area school or via your ped. My best friend's little guy had that issue, and his handwriting got much better very quickly, and his endurance increased a ton too.

Good luck w/your older one, too! Those exams suck. Bleh!

Btw - my dd is 9 in 4th grade here in the US. She hasn't memorized her multiplication tables, but she can do 3-5 digit problems. Division is still pretty new. Her handwriting is pretty lame, but legible and she can write better when she's up for the challenge. She reads well, and is most into science. She is also kinesthetic, enjoys the trampoline, and swings, laughing, TV and DVD's, computer time, etc. These are all very normal for this age. She has very limited tv and computer time, but not by choice lol! Developing those boundaries is important for her, but so is allowing her to do things that she enjoys. Like you said, it's good for them to have 'down' time. She is in school (Montessori) but only because I just don't seem to get through to her in a way that would facilitate learning. Very frustrating. Anyway, you have my admiration and respect, and I hope your dh can get on board totally and be more supportive of you and her! Cheers! Andy

[Jennifer Z]

When you say she is struggling with writing, if it is the physical aspect of writing, have you tried Handwriting without tears? It addresses writing in a non boring way and really does help.

[natashaccat]

Do you have access to a third opinion? You know, a teacher friend or a hsing friendly parent of schooled kids, a hsing friendly child development counselor? Someone who could evaluate your dd's knowledge and abilities for you and your dh relative to other kids and reassure him that she is doing age appropriate stuff?