When my ds1 was 15 months old, my mom took it upon herself to have a "conversation" with me because she was worried about the way we were raising our son. She was concerned that I was still breastfeeding, that I was making him dependant on me and that he would never learn to go to anyone else for comfort. She was concerned that we didn't spank him when he was quietly screeching the day before in the empty restaurant we were eating at in the middle of the afternoon. She was concerned that he would never become independant, and that he relied too much on me.
Well, think about it. My mom and stepdad live out of state for most of the year. He only saw them when they were back in the state about once a month. To him, the person we called grandma was a total stranger. I really think she forgot that. I think that she thought that her grandson would instinctively "know" here and respond to her as such, but that simply doesn't happen. She was so upset that when he got hurt he came running to me, but she didn't seem to understand that he was as likely to run to a complete stranger as her in that situation.
I think she also felt insulted that my parenting was different. I definitely had my own parenting path and it was MUCH different than hers had been. She had always needed her mother for support and advice (she had me when she was 21 and had little experience with babies -- I was 28 and had TONS of experience with babies and children including nannying for a family with three children ages newborn, 3 and 5.) She seemed to see this all as a direct attack on her and her parenting choices.
I finally stopped trying to explain myself (an exercise in futility
: ) and let her know this was the way it was going to be, and she was welcome to be a part of his life as long as she could accept it. Parenting ideals change and I told her that I was doing what I thought best, just as she had done with my brother and I many years ago.
My ds1 who is now 5 is the most wonderful kid in the world. He is a joy. He's loving, caring, independent, I could go on and on, but the point is that my parenting has slowly proven itself over the years. I never heard a darned thing when I had my second ds. She must have learned something.