DD will be eight in a month. She is in a public montessori as a second year in the childhood classroom (basically second grade). She has a wonderful teacher whom we all adore.. seriously, I wish he could be her teacher for the rest of her school days; he is every thing a teacher should be.
DD is exceptionally bright. She reads and writes well above her age/grade level and she likes school. She is creative and loves art. The only homework she is assigned is journal writing each day. She can write as much or as little as she likes. She's also free to include art. The teacher provides a sheet with a question for each day weekly and then the journal is collected once a week. It's not graded. There's no smiley faces or red marks. It is not being checked for spelling or punctuation. It is really just about getting them comfortable with writing, with transferring their thoughts from their brains to the paper.
DD HATES it. She fights us over it at every step: The questions are stupid. She can't think of anything. She doesn't understand the question. She's hungry. She's tired. She's bored. She's frustrated. She neeeds to stretch. She needs some water. She needs our help. Our help isn't helpful. We're making her angry. The homework is making her angry. It's too hard. She messed up and now she has to start all over and she can't think of anything and on and on and on and on.......
This is a kid who will read independently or do art without moving an inch or speaking a word for two or more hours at a time. This is a kid who won last year's spelling bee and Young Author's Award. This is a kid who wrote her own three minute finger puppet play for the talent show, but ask her to write a paragraph about her favorite book or about something she did over the weekend and she just melts down.
We've talked to dd's teacher. He's told us, in front of her, that if she doesn't like a specific question or doesn't feel like she has enough information to answer it, she is welcome to make up her own question, that it's not a knowledge test, it's a writing exercise. He has reassured her, as have we, that no one is concerned about spelling or punctuation. No one is judging her ideas. That there is no right or wrong answers to the questions. It's just an exercise.
I don't know what to do anymore. Homework, 9 times out of 10, results in tears or stomping and door slamming on her part (something she never does for any other reason) and major frustration on DP's and my parts.
Here's how a typical homework session goes:
DD: I don't understand this question.
Me or DP: (first reading question aloud) I think the question is asking you X.
DD: That makes no sense.
Me or DP: (explain a different way. Give an example)
DD: I don't know how to answer that.
Me or DP: Would you like some ideas?
DD: Yes (very sulkily)
Me or DP: (give some ideas)
DD: That doesn't answer the question (snotty tone)
Me or DP: That's my best idea.
DD: It didn't help. I still don't know what to write.
Me or DP: I'm sorry it didn't help. Mr. Teacher did say you can write your own question or topic. Is there something else you'd like to write about.
DD: No he didn't. He never said that.
Me or DP: SIGH. Sweetie, we've talked about this. On parents' night, Mr. Teacher told both of us that you can write about anything, as long as you write on a stated topic or question each day.
DD: He never said that.
(go back and forth a time or two with yes he did/no he didn't)
Me or DP: Okay, we don't agree on that. Maybe we could talk to Mr. Teacher about this again. What would be helpful to get your writing done right now?
DD: Either: Nothing or a snack or watching a movie or taking a break or eight million other things that just feel like stalling tactics.
Me or DP: We then accomodate a brief break in some regard, a snack, bathroom, water, drawing a picture, etc and then say, "Okay, let's get back to your journal."
Then repeat from start of the conversation, mostly full of her asking for help and then pretty rudely shooting down our ideas (telling us they're dumb, make no sense) and/or her being critical of herself ("I can't do it. It's going to sound stupid if I write about that. It sounds stupid, etc..), have it end in tears or door slamming.
Eventually it gets done. Most of the time.
Why is this so hard for her? What are we doing wrong? To us, it seems so simple and something she is so capable of. When she finally does write it is usually beautiful, insightful, interesting and funny. Why does she fight it so hard? What can we do differently?
PLEASE don't suggest homeschooling. If we ever are able to do it, it's at least two years off. TIA!
DD is exceptionally bright. She reads and writes well above her age/grade level and she likes school. She is creative and loves art. The only homework she is assigned is journal writing each day. She can write as much or as little as she likes. She's also free to include art. The teacher provides a sheet with a question for each day weekly and then the journal is collected once a week. It's not graded. There's no smiley faces or red marks. It is not being checked for spelling or punctuation. It is really just about getting them comfortable with writing, with transferring their thoughts from their brains to the paper.
DD HATES it. She fights us over it at every step: The questions are stupid. She can't think of anything. She doesn't understand the question. She's hungry. She's tired. She's bored. She's frustrated. She neeeds to stretch. She needs some water. She needs our help. Our help isn't helpful. We're making her angry. The homework is making her angry. It's too hard. She messed up and now she has to start all over and she can't think of anything and on and on and on and on.......
This is a kid who will read independently or do art without moving an inch or speaking a word for two or more hours at a time. This is a kid who won last year's spelling bee and Young Author's Award. This is a kid who wrote her own three minute finger puppet play for the talent show, but ask her to write a paragraph about her favorite book or about something she did over the weekend and she just melts down.
We've talked to dd's teacher. He's told us, in front of her, that if she doesn't like a specific question or doesn't feel like she has enough information to answer it, she is welcome to make up her own question, that it's not a knowledge test, it's a writing exercise. He has reassured her, as have we, that no one is concerned about spelling or punctuation. No one is judging her ideas. That there is no right or wrong answers to the questions. It's just an exercise.
I don't know what to do anymore. Homework, 9 times out of 10, results in tears or stomping and door slamming on her part (something she never does for any other reason) and major frustration on DP's and my parts.
Here's how a typical homework session goes:
DD: I don't understand this question.
Me or DP: (first reading question aloud) I think the question is asking you X.
DD: That makes no sense.
Me or DP: (explain a different way. Give an example)
DD: I don't know how to answer that.
Me or DP: Would you like some ideas?
DD: Yes (very sulkily)
Me or DP: (give some ideas)
DD: That doesn't answer the question (snotty tone)
Me or DP: That's my best idea.
DD: It didn't help. I still don't know what to write.
Me or DP: I'm sorry it didn't help. Mr. Teacher did say you can write your own question or topic. Is there something else you'd like to write about.
DD: No he didn't. He never said that.
Me or DP: SIGH. Sweetie, we've talked about this. On parents' night, Mr. Teacher told both of us that you can write about anything, as long as you write on a stated topic or question each day.
DD: He never said that.
(go back and forth a time or two with yes he did/no he didn't)
Me or DP: Okay, we don't agree on that. Maybe we could talk to Mr. Teacher about this again. What would be helpful to get your writing done right now?
DD: Either: Nothing or a snack or watching a movie or taking a break or eight million other things that just feel like stalling tactics.
Me or DP: We then accomodate a brief break in some regard, a snack, bathroom, water, drawing a picture, etc and then say, "Okay, let's get back to your journal."
Then repeat from start of the conversation, mostly full of her asking for help and then pretty rudely shooting down our ideas (telling us they're dumb, make no sense) and/or her being critical of herself ("I can't do it. It's going to sound stupid if I write about that. It sounds stupid, etc..), have it end in tears or door slamming.
Eventually it gets done. Most of the time.
Why is this so hard for her? What are we doing wrong? To us, it seems so simple and something she is so capable of. When she finally does write it is usually beautiful, insightful, interesting and funny. Why does she fight it so hard? What can we do differently?
PLEASE don't suggest homeschooling. If we ever are able to do it, it's at least two years off. TIA!
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