My 6yr. old DS is having a hard time...worried

[sarahmae1]

Over the weekend, a couple of times he said that everyone hates him. He whines constantly about everything, and is easily upset (gets angry and/or cries a lot).

He complains about doing anything at all (whether it be going to the store, picking up his shoes, or doing his homework, etc). He worries exessively about everyone - he needs to know where everyone (and our pets) are at all times. He has been crying about going to school and says that it is too long, and that he doesn't want to go to school anymore.

I just don't know what to do. It makes it difficult for us to live with him, but I am mostly worried about him and what I can do to help him.

[DanishMom]

Hi,

It seems to me like the underlying reason for not wanting do things is that your son is anxious. If he wants to know where everyone are, doesn't want to be left at school and he's afraid of criticism he might have some kind of deeper psychological issues. Has there been any major changes in his life recently - like moving, just starting to go to school or some kind of crisis in your family?

I suppose your son needs a lot of reassurance and you might need to accept that he is less able to handle things he could easily do before. Otherwise you'll probably have lots of disappointments and that won't help either of you right now.

could you perhaps give us some more details?

Good luck.

Anne

[amcal]

I agree with the anxiety thing. I am not a homeopath but I understand there are homeopathic remedies that are very successful for treating anxiety in children. I have a friend who swears by Reliv shakes for her daughter who struggles with anxiety but I've never tried them.

My DD is a huge complainer too. She also talks a lot about people not liking her, people laughing at her. She tells me all the time that she's not good enough at various things.

I've actually started confronting her on a lot of the things she says because they are not true. She tell me all the time that no one at school plays with her. I've talked to the teacher, dropped by unannounced, watched her unobserved on the playground and it's completely untrue. She is very happy, engaging with other children, playing etc... So, when she does the pouty "No one played with me today at school" I ask her if that is true - I make her look at me and we discuss it.

Same with the "I'm not good at coloring, painting, dancing, gymnastics" statements. I confront them - not in an angry way but in a way that makes her focus on reality. It has seemed to help.

[fadedblack166]

Sorry to hear that your son is having a hard time right now . I second what the previous posters said but also what to ask you is this his first year of school? It might be a big adjustment for him to spend so long of a time without you. I think it would be a great idea to call the his teacher just to see if there have been any problems at school for him. I hope all goes well for you!

[littlemomma]

I wonder if this is common at this age? My son went throught the same thing...

[gsd1amommy]

I really think it is alot about "being six". We are going through much of the same thing but I have been at my son's school alot-volunteering, fund raising projects, drop off and pick up and I hear the same things coming from MANY other little boys. I think it is trying out new words and phrases, wanting positive strokes, wanting a litttle assurance that they are still valuable and worthy despite being around other little boys who "do it" better, are more athletic, are more clever, etc. My little one is beside himself because he is not good at football. He is small and not fast and he is sure everyone at recess thinks he is a loser. : And school has just started. Looks like a long year ahead.