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Really Struggling... - Page 2

post #21 of 33
Thread Starter 
Well, the silver lining with this 3rd pregnancy is that I am actually having *less* prodrominal labor than my other 2! Instead of every night, I have a spurt and then get a few days off. The real issue seems to be getting hung up on my past experiences and getting distressed by anything that seems similar. One thing I am noticing is that I am effacing without dialating - I am getting a little hopeful "real labor" will go fast since I'll only have to open, not have to get out of the way too. I am amazed by the calendar - despite my whining around time is passing really quickly. Monday's seem the hardest for me - it's like I don't want to move on into the week, but once I get past Monday, I find some momentum for making it through. That 3 contraction thing is a little scary though, flapjack... I guess I'll trust that the baby won't decide to make his/her appearance in the grocery store.
post #22 of 33
Though if they do, what a story that would make. I imagine as you are intune with your body, you would not be feeling like making such an outing at that time, but that's just my guess.

I had a week of prodromal labor all night long (I remember waking up and looking at the clock when a ctx. would wake me up and they were about 3 min. apart but I was so tired I almost don't remember doing that)... my first real ctx (they were all REAL, but you know, the beginning of the end) was 4 min. long and it was 1.5 hours before our son was in my arms. And I was 2cm that day so no biggie, I thought I still had days. Just happened real fast. Best birth so far.
post #23 of 33
One thing I am noticing is that I am effacing without dialating
Get the heck outta there! Checking is not providing with any useful information

post #24 of 33
Well I've always considered what is happening to you to be labor. Your body is going to birth that baby and it's moving closer and closer every day. You know the saying that we are dying from the day we are born? Well you've been birthing since the day you conceived. It sounds like the best way to avoid the previous problems is to leave it alone! Don't rupture anything, don't induce anything, no vaginal exams (especially no vaginal exams by anyone including you) etc.

Good Luck!

post #25 of 33
Thread Starter 
I think my cervix agrees - it keeps going higher and higher and higher back - like "get away from me woman!" Which is good I guess, cause it always felt like my babies were invading my rectum when I pushed, so I think that is the correct angle for ejection...
post #26 of 33
2bluefish, i just started reading this thread and i am SO PROUD of you!! your wonderful change in attitude is inspirational to me and i just know that everything is going to be fine and you will give birth just when the time is right. i love your willingness to see things in a new way and to embrace the positive input of others. what a strength! i'm going through my own challenges right now and it helps me so much to share in your positive story.

i am just home from the hospital after a terrifying incident of very very serious bleeding. i have marginal previa and am on strict bed rest for the next month pending another ultrasound. i'm having twins, which i guess is the cause for these challenges. drs are dying to cut into me and i'm terrified that i will not have the peaceful homebirth that i long for so much. i have never had a baby and won't have anymore after these two... i don't want to miss something so important and beautiful as my own children's birth, and i don't want them traumatized by a terrible hospital experience. but i insist on being positive! this previa will resolve (even the drs say that) and i will hold these tigers in until they are fully baked! the last remaining challenge is to find a midwife who will work with twins. most won't, and i haven't found one who will. but i am determined. i will not give up.

so you inspire me! you have really helped my spirits by reading your posts, your progress and sharing in your strength. thank you thank you thank, and i can't wait to hear about your beautiful, natural, peaceful birth.
post #27 of 33
You are doing soooo beautifully! what an inspiration!

You'll give birth on X day, but how you get there is often your choice. You can get there freaked out, or you can get there relaxed and chill. Relaxed and chill is a lot nicer, but I've done both! I felt like a REAL failure during my freaked out prodromal labor. And, I felt like a REAL goddess during my relaxed and chill prodromal labor.

Copy/Pasting from the other thread, hope you don't mind!
This is a list of things that helped through prodromal labor. And, I need to tell you 6 weeks with the last two weeks being intense is all in the realm of normal. It's how many of us labor. A lot of women are induced in the hospital so we just don't hear so much about prodromal labor anymore. A percentage of women who birth without augmentation, experience prodromal labor. It's a very normal yet incredibly frustrating pattern. In the end though, when your labor naturally unfolds by itself without encouragement, then your birth will be so much faster than without the prodromal labor. Be prepared for a fast one, okay? (My 3rd was prodromal labor for weeks & weeks & weeks, but then she was born in 1 hour, 40 minutes when labor finally did kick in)

Prodromal Labor - what works for many women. Take what you think would work for you, leave the rest:
- Do you contract more when you walk around? If so, when you start a ctx pattern, lay down & rest. If you contract more when you lay down, then walk & be upright more. You need to do whatever to NOT encourage ctx at this point. It will happen. But, encouraging prodromal labor to continue is not beneficial at this point.
- Go for a walk by yourself (or with your partner if you feel drawn to that). Talk to the baby. Tell him/her that there is peace all around. That you trust in his/her timing. Cry if you need to.
- Stop trying to bring on labor. Chances are the cohosh & the castor oil is just making your uterus irritated, thus exacerbating prodromal labor & tiring you out before the big day. The baby's just not ready yet. He/she will guide you when the timing is right. Your body doesn't need any extra stimulation right now. It's time to rest & gather your energy for the birth.
- Physical - is there something physical holding your body back? Baby positioning, dehydration, etc.
- Emotional - You're feeling ready to meet this baby. Is there anything else holding you back?
- Plan something for tomorrow. Lunch with a friend without kids, massage, cafe for a latte by yourself before DH leaves for work, whatever. Make a plan.
- Make a plan for next week with an understanding friend. "Hey, let's do lunch on Monday, barring me giving birth." Pick a place you LOVE to eat at. Make it a set weekly date until you give birth.
- Let go of the expectation that you need to give birth soon. If you need to, you will. How does next Friday sound for birth? (I know that probably sounds like hell, but instead of telling yourself that tonight is the night each night & spreading your focus so thin, if you pick a date further away, it helps the energy build. Yeah, that's woowoo, but sometimes woowoo works.)
- Take a look at your supplements. I did Polly Someone's 5-week labor prep herbs once that sent my body over the edge. I was in labor for about 4 days straight before I finally stopped the herbs & then my ctx went back to a normal pattern for me. Red Raspberry leaf can even cause more ctx than necessary.
- Surround yourself with love & only do things that you want to do. This is not the time to do dishes. This is the time to rent a girly movie & get a foot rub.

I hope that list helped. It could have just pissed you off or made you cry. But, I thought I'd put it out there. If even one idea helped you, then so be it. Take what you want & leave the rest.

Just know that so so so many of us are supporting you & loving you right now.
post #28 of 33
Thread Starter 
Thank you both - that's so sweet! I just hate to be miserable, so I try really hard to get up when I'm down! I am starting to really be amazed at how fast time is passing. It's kind of funny, but I'm starting to realize I'm running out of time for griping - this pregnancy is almost over any way you look at it! Maybe this is why some old people don't seem all that afraid of dying - once you get this close to the inevitable, it just ceases to be scary? Those words of King Solomon's are kind of creepy in Ecclesiastes, but he's right - you can't stave off the future, so might as well enjoy the present. Anyway, thanks everyone for the kind words of wisdom - and for the opportunity to work through my frustrations.

wvmommy, You can do it!
post #29 of 33
mama. This is such a sacred time. In the scheme of things, this time is like moments before your baby reaches earthside. Just this thin skin & strong uterus to separate the two of you. So close...so very close to being born.

You were made for this. You will do this. More accurately, this will be done for you.
post #30 of 33
Y'all, this is such a beautiful thread
post #31 of 33
Originally Posted by georgia View Post
Y'all, this is such a beautiful thread
I agree. It's brought tears to my eyes more than once.
post #32 of 33
Thread Starter 
Dangit, reading that made my breast start tingling and leaking, mitf!
post #33 of 33
Originally Posted by mama in the forest View Post
mama. This is such a sacred time. In the scheme of things, this time is like moments before your baby reaches earthside. Just this thin skin & strong uterus to separate the two of you. So close...so very close to being born.

You were made for this. You will do this. More accurately, this will be done for you.
That's so beautiful!
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