Having nothing but a toe dipped in the "mainstream," I spend a good deal of time theorizing about what my daughter's social life might be like in later childhood.
Because of a variety of screwed up childhood circumstances, it's only been relatively recently that I've started to get to know myself and be comfortable with who I am. Growing up I had no idea who I was or where I wanted to go, which left me awfully vulnerable to outside pressure, be it positive or negative.
Okay, all of that is just backstory for my question, which is this: Is it a rare thing for a young person to be self-confident? Is it through the luck of personality that one grows up with a healthy sense of self? Or is it something that is loved-in to a person?
I only know my own experience, and since my self esteem has been so hard won it's difficult for me to imagine it any other way.
What has been your experience, and what have you witnessed with your child?
I want DD to be confident about the ways we might be different from her friends or other families, and I most definitely want her to feel great about herself even if she is "weird." I do believe that the firm attachment we've been cultivating since day one will go far.
I dunno, I guess this isn't an especially clear post, but it's what's on my mind! Thanks for reading.
Because of a variety of screwed up childhood circumstances, it's only been relatively recently that I've started to get to know myself and be comfortable with who I am. Growing up I had no idea who I was or where I wanted to go, which left me awfully vulnerable to outside pressure, be it positive or negative.
Okay, all of that is just backstory for my question, which is this: Is it a rare thing for a young person to be self-confident? Is it through the luck of personality that one grows up with a healthy sense of self? Or is it something that is loved-in to a person?
I only know my own experience, and since my self esteem has been so hard won it's difficult for me to imagine it any other way.
What has been your experience, and what have you witnessed with your child?
I want DD to be confident about the ways we might be different from her friends or other families, and I most definitely want her to feel great about herself even if she is "weird." I do believe that the firm attachment we've been cultivating since day one will go far.
I dunno, I guess this isn't an especially clear post, but it's what's on my mind! Thanks for reading.
To add to that though, I think there's enough "non-mainstream" people out there to relate to that your daughter will be able to grow up and not feel like she's an "outcast" of any sort. I remember hearing my friends talk about the fried chicken/pizza/mac-n-cheese they had for dinner the night before and wonder why my parents were feeding us steamed kale and brown rice. I also worried about what my friends would htink of me when they found out I didn't have a TV. I felt left out of those conversations where my girlfriends were discussing some show, but now I couldn't thank my parents enough for raising me in the environment they did. Growing up I always had a group of close friends, even though we moved a couple times, that I got along with great. The majority of them were from very "mainstreamish" families but our personalities clicked and we had other things to do besides bond over the latest popular TV show. And sure, there were times growing up that I felt weird about being from the family that shunned TV and pop culture in general, but ultimately I think my parents did do a wonderful job in that aspect. They never acted like we were outcasts at all, but they also never gave the impression that "every body else" was wrong in thier lifestyles. So again, just modelling the confidence is extremely important, I think. HTH 
