Keeping 3 yo DD busy, peaceful with crawling DS

[MacKinnon]

Oh, we are well in the throws of three around here. Everything seems to be a struggle with DD. One thing I have noticed recently is that she is not engaging in play well, she'll flit from thing to thing, making a giant mess, complaining, etc. but not settle down and play. Today I tried to sit and play with her and she couldn't choose something, she would start playing and then see something else and start playing with that, dump it out, not engaging in anything. I realized that the last few days the thing that is driving me most nuts is that she is always underfoot, into things and "causing trouble." I know much of it is attention based (newly crawling brother getting into things), and I am really focusing on positive attention. I guess I am looking for ways to smooth this interaction between me/her, get her engaged in something again and make things smoother between us.

I also need tips on helping DD have some play space separate from DS. Before he started crawling, she would play over to the side of the rug, but now he gets into whatever she gets out. I have been telling her that things she doesn't want to share she can play with in her room or at the table, but if they are on the floor, I can't keep DS away. She doesn't want DS to have anything that can be remotely considered hers. It's a real problem right now! Thanks!

[Surfacing]

: Just taking notes Mama because one of these days dd#1 and bb#2 will be the same age split.

I will say that 2.5 y.o. dd flits from activity to activity or toy to toy and can't settle when (a) she feels sick; (b) she hasn't had enough sleep; (c) she's bored and needs some new stimulation incl. outside stimulation. I don't know if any of these sound like they might apply? Just some thoughts here. Oh, also, sometimes I find I have to really involve dd in whatever activity I'm doing when she's just flitting and can't settle and is generally "getting into trouble". I'll do stuff like involve her in washing dishes, I'll soap them up and get her to rinse, of course it's just stuff like cutlery, plastic cups, bottles, tupperware OR helping with cooking like tearing lettuce, rinsing vegetables, throwing stuff into the pot that I cut up, having her stir, etc. Does your dd like water? Setting out various sizes of cups, tubs, etc. with water on a towel in the kitchen can keep dd busy for a good half hour or longer. Maybe something newish to keep her occupied for awhile? Just brainstorming.

Good luck and hang in there. Waiting to see if anyone else has some good ideas. :

[Ornery]

The best thing I have found for my 3.5 yo is to take out the blocks, dolls, cars, playdough, whatever, and sit down with her for a few minutes to get her started. She then seems to be able to take what ideas I've given her (i.e., shall we build a house, have the dolls be friends, do races with the cars, etc) and build on them.

Another idea is that she might be overwhelmed by the choices of toys she has. I know that when we only have one or two options, she plays longer with them, rather than having everything spread all over.

Good luck.....I'm still trying to figure out the trick for being able to get things done around here without one of mine underfoot. Even the 12 yo!

As for keeping the baby out of her area, I have no good ideas. My daughter learned very quickly that if she has something that she wants to keep away from our youngest, she HAS to play with it at the table/on the couch or when he is napping. Otherwise, there is nothing I can do about it.

[midwestmeg]

As the survivor of this recent episode, I have nothing to say except you must hang in there and stay strong!! : It is such a difficult stage; having a little crawler and a 3 year old.

I think a lot of it has to do with jealousy and security. I just got through the stage.... not gracefully, mind you. The low points were me threatening to put dd outside if she couldn't be nice or share with her brother and timeouts in her room b/c she was snatching or pushing ds. : The higher points of my parenting were teaching dd to 'share' and/or 'switch' with ds and explaining to her that if she let him play with her for just a few minutes, he would lose interest and wander away.

She is JUST starting to be less threatened by him and now is even having fun with him. Thank goodness.

One other thing I try to do with her is a once a week trip or activity that does not involve her little brother. We both enjoy the time and it helps us connect.

[MacKinnon]

Thanks for the ideas mamas! Keep 'em coming! Today we had a MUCH better day. I cleaned up and put away alot of DD's things, so there was less of her stuff out for DS to get his hands on. I also put DD to "work" from the moment we got back in (after preschool and DD's special big girl hair cut). She spent a good hour pouring over magazines looking at pictures and ideas for her Christmas list (grandparents request), we then went to make dinner and I had her right up at the counter helping to "chop" (with a butter knife), wash dishes, set the table, etc. I kept her busy right up to dinner and there was no aimless wandering and trouble making. I've really got to find some more mommy/daughter time, like Megan suggested. We've needed that alot and haven't gotten it!