Uncertainty about all this, confusion?

[sbgrace]

I never intended to do preschool and planned to homeschool. And yet my boys (a big past 3.5) are saying they want to go to school, asking questions about what happens at school, etc. I don't know where they get it...seeing school buses I guess. And then I watch my typically developing son and I know he wants to socialize with peers and yet he's hesitant because he's not had much peer exposure really..just play dates here and there and some church stuff. His twin is on the autism spectrum so while they interact a lot it isn't typical for their age.
I'm all the sudden thinking that Caleb would really enjoy preschool. And yet that isn't what I want. I feel somehow like he's getting behind--I think it was watching the big difference between the preschooled and not kids at a summer library program.
I still see myself homeschooling my spectrum kiddo but I'm all the sudden confused about his typically developing brother.
How do I reconcile this or can someone help me think through the aspects of social/peer relationships and the importance of that? And what do I make of my boys asking to go to school? I'm so confused.

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by sbgrace

I think it was watching the big difference between the preschooled and not kids at a summer library program.

I think you may see a difference now, but in the long run that difference is not an issue. I see the same difference in children that go to daycare or children who have older siblings.

Originally Posted by sbgrace

I don't know where they get it...seeing school buses I guess.

I think they get it from books or seeing the buses.



I can't really help but I understand. My kids are just past three. I have been researching home schooling and would really like to HS. They were signed up for a preschool class this fall and I pulled them out a week prior to class. It is a really great nature based parent coop but I still am not sure. (I pulled them out because they are not completely potty 'trained' and I wanted them home w/me.) Anyway... My kids also ask continuously if they can go to school - especially my daughter. I figured I could put them in short programs, like this one once or twice a week for a couple of hours. This could be their out of the home school. As they get older something like a nature based explorers program that meets once a week for two hours for K-4th graders or ‘swimming school’, ‘art school’, etc. I was hoping this would give them some social exposure and class experience. I never went to school in my own town so when the neighborhood kids talked about school I always felt left-out. I'm concerned about this happening to my kids if I home school.

(My kids did go to a two-year-olds toddler group so they have some idea of school. However it was eight kids and four fantastic teachers, a ST, DT, OT and retired teacher. Two-days/wk for two hours. I could stay and watch. They don’t realize they wouldn’t get this one-on-one attention in a typical school.)

[sbgrace]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think you are probably right abou the long term differences and siblings/daycare and all. I like the idea of short term programs...although we're in such a small area that I'm not sure how much is available. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. It just really caught me off guard. I never thought I would give any of this a second thought.

[joandsarah77]

I think you may see a difference now, but in the long run that difference is not an issue.

preschools these days are the new K. Kids do writing journals, letter and number activities sometimes too much. This is just my OP, but I believe it is all due to No Child left Behind (We have our own version of that here is Australia) teachers are scared of the coming tests, they start preparing PK for K, K for 1. Kids are pushed to learn a whole lot of 'stuff' which looks impressive. Some parents love to crow about how there 4 year old learnt to write and sit cross legged at preschool. : Play is downsized, left out or just squeaked in here and there instead of being the main focus. it should be the main focus. That and open art activities. I mean what’s the point, so they will read and do sums younger? So what. What happens is that too much forced on academics can cause a child to not develop other more important things such as there imagination and creativity. Academics there are years to learn and once they graduate you are not going to tell if they learnt to read at 4 or 7, it's just not a big deal. But lost creativity is lost. it's developed in those years up to 6. Ok getting of soap box

About them wanting school that is very typical around 4. Kids have been taking in subliminal messages about school since they were tiny. it is everywhere from shop displays to books, tv, peoples comments. it has been telling them that school is what normal kids do, it is exciting and fun and you will want to go. great for parents who are sending there kids, not so great for those of us who don’t. So counteract with your own advertising. Point out the cool stuff you do as homeschoolers, maybe try and find some stories with homeschooled kids in them, find a group, make it the new norm for them. Often a longing for school is just a longing for a new back pack, or a bus ride so fill the want and they may stop asking.

[dbsam]

We are also in a small town but I'm finding nice programs in various places. Do you have a small art gallery near? Many offer art classes for children. The National or State parks also offer programs. I was shocked to hear we have a county-wide monthly meeting at our library just for home schooling families. I haven't been to a meeting yet but am hoping to go and hear of other programs or resources.

Today my daughter cried when the school bus stopped across the street. That is when I question my decision.

[joandsarah77]

That is when I would be asking "Do you want to ride the bus" if she says yes then go ride a bus! my daughter always loved riding a bus with her grandma, was always asking "When can i ride the bus again"? Then one time we let her take the bus with grandma back to there house to stay a couple of days. It takes an hour. By the end of that she told grandma "I had enough of riding the bus" and she has never mentioned it again!

[elizawill]

Originally Posted by joandsarah77

preschools these days are the new K. Kids do writing journals, letter and number activities sometimes too much. This is just my OP, but I believe it is all due to No Child left Behind (We have our own version of that here is Australia) teachers are scared of the coming tests, they start preparing PK for K, K for 1. Kids are pushed to learn a whole lot of 'stuff' which looks impressive. Some parents love to crow about how there 4 year old learnt to write and sit cross legged at preschool. : Play is downsized, left out or just squeaked in here and there instead of being the main focus. it should be the main focus. That and open art activities. I mean what’s the point, so they will read and do sums younger? So what. What happens is that too much forced on academics can cause a child to not develop other more important things such as there imagination and creativity. Academics there are years to learn and once they graduate you are not going to tell if they learnt to read at 4 or 7, it's just not a big deal. But lost creativity is lost. it's developed in those years up to 6. Ok getting of soap box

ITA!!!!! there is actually a LIST of things your child should know BEFORE they enter kindergarten!!!!!! that's completely crazy imo!!!
my dd is 6 and in kindergarten this year. we do learn a lot imo, but it is through a lot of interactive hands-on engaging FUN! SHE'S SIX!!! it kills me what is expected out of tiny children!! okay, i'll get off my soap box now too but i just wanted to commensurate!

[WuWei]

Find out what he wants to do "in school". What does "school" conceptualize to him: sitting and following directions in chairs and desks and getting up at 7am? Or does he see the school bus, the kids on the playground and hear "going to school is fun" on Clifford, Dora, Diego, Barney, neighbor parents, clerks, grandparents, books, etc. etc.

Take him on a bus ride. Take him on a tour of school, mid-day during Real school, not the 20 minute silent lunch or the 30 minute recess which is held over kids heads as a privilege. Some kids do enjoy school. So "do school". Get up at 6:15, eat, brush teeth, get fully dressed and go ride a bus for 30 minutes, then come home and sit quietly, have him raise his hand, make "unit" studies, projects, etc. Create a homeschooling network with those who already homeschooling. See kids of all ages playing together more regularly. Create a community who embrace family time and building friendships; and you can meet his needs. Then he can make an informed choice. Let him try it, if all of this doesn't meet his needs. And since most children are not "required" to be in school before age 6-7, don't make him go if he doesn't want to go. Plan field trips, invite friends along, keep him home when he wants to join you. Don't buy into the "must study/progress/keep up" mentality and let him go to school on his own terms.

There are a myriad of possibilities between "go to school" or "don't see enough friends" at home.


Pat