birthday parties

[sadie_sabot]

my kid is going to be 5 in a few weeks. So far, her birthday parties have been big and wild; we invite all of her friends, and a lot of our adult community too. This year she's saying she wants to do a drop off party with 5 kids, sometimes she says 10, anyway, she's being somewhat exclusive in ehr lsiting of who she wants to invite, and the lsit changes each time we talk about it.

We ahve people in our community who I would feel really bad aobut not inviting- friends who's kid's parties dd is always invited to; and I'm trying to figure out how to balance my needs and her needs. i even considered doing two parties, but that's just f-in ridiculous.

I am concerned that excluding kids is the first step to bulying; and while I'm nto concerned aobut my kid being a bully, I am concerned about doing what I cvan overall to help foster a community spirit in ehr classroom; as these kids are going to be together for 8 years if all goes well. On the other hand, I don't actually want all 17 kids in ehr class plus all the other friends to come. Oi! who knew kid birthday parties would be so much drama? Maybe that's why my mom never threw one for me!

[Eliseatthebeach]

Originally Posted by sadie_sabot

who knew kid birthday parties would be so much drama?

They really can be, I agree. I go through the same thing every year, and most recently, now with my soon to be 6yr old.
My solution:
I decided to invite just her class, that way everyone else has to be excluded. It was a hard choice b/c she does have many other friends. This was just the easiest way to "explain" if needed to anyone who may feel left out. So far, no one seems offended....if anything other parents "get it" and really don't care. Your dd's class is small enough, this might be an easy out for you too.
Are you doing it at home or elsewhere, like The Little Gym? If you do the party at a place like this, you will have no reason to invite the older kids and grown ups.
We are doing this one at home, her class of 20, and two hired older girls to help. I'm keeping it short, 1 and 1/2 hours, a few simple games, a craft, cake. All outside, of course.
Try not to stress too much, everyone will understand that you have to do what your dd wants and what is right for your family.
Good luck!

[Feb2003]

well, we invite their age plus 1.

it's hard to get them to nail down the list, though!! try to think of who YOU think your child would enjoy and then start a discussion with those in your head in case they are having trouble thinking of friends of the top of their head.

I don't think that excluding friends is the start of bullying, but is a way to simplify life and actually enjoy the party! If there is a friend that doesn't make the list, but is really close, schedule a play date and let them have some fun together.

I think parents will understand (and many children, too) if you express that the party is very small/intimate and your child chose the list. Then follow up with the fact that you'd love to have them over where you could devote more attention to THEM...then actually put something on the calendar. If they've done birthdays, they'll understand!

HTH!