Why dh, why?

[Banana731]

I think we haven't had a bite me thread in a while, why are we all so content when we have to waddle everywhere?

Why dh, why are there starch flakes from your ironing all over my nice clean floor that I now have to suck up by bending over with a flipping dust buster? Why would you leave that on the floor for your poor pregnant wife to have to clean when you know how much cleaning I've been doing since my Mom is comming tomrrow?

anyone else?

[Aeress]

This may sound mean but I can't help it:
bite it positive people who keep telling me all this prodominal labor is a "good thing". Yeah? Well FU cause I am tired, grumpy and very uncomfortable and dmnit nobody is buying me chocolate or good food to cheer me up. SO bite me all you non pregnant people who just don't get it!:

[mittendrin]

Bite me kids, who constantly have to scream and yell and destroy things.
Bite myself for sitting here instead of getting my work done first and then reward myself with some MDC time later.
Bite me DH who has to spend too much money on a darn fall jacket when his old one is perfectly fine and even if you absolutely had to have a new one you spend $20 for the same one at Walmart. We are friggin' broke and I don't know what to cook til next payday but you just don't see it sometimes, do ya? There's no steaks hidden in our freezer and if we have fried potatoes for dinner for the 10th time this months the I am gonna enjoy them and you will be ticked again! BTW, I am wearing your old jacket now because it's warm and it's the only thing that still fits me.

[Usually Curious]

Bite me utility companies who send me giant bills that make my BP sky rocket!

[hammycakes]

Bite me clogged duct which had me in tears and chills for most of the night.
Bite me baby Hazel for grunting and kicking me when I desperately need a little sleep so I don't scream at everyone else in the family.

[Dena]

Oooh, I totally need this today!!

Bite me dh for leaving stuff all over, and for basically ignoring me until I call you at work, in tears, about things that need to be done. And then telling me I need to get off my feet and rest for my bp. Uh, yeah.

Bite me cat or cats for deciding dd's bed is your new litter box. Yeah, we got a puppy. Deal with it.

Bite me puppy - or rather, don't. Stop chewing on everything in sight. I know you are a puppy, and puppies chew. That is why we got you a dozen chew toys. Chew on them. Leave our stuff alone. Including the cats.

Bite me clients. Yeah, it is flattering that you need me, but I am on Maternity leave. The key word is LEAVE. I have LEFT my office. LEAVE me alone.

Bite me high bp that makes me worry about a hospital birth. Bite me 24-hour urine test catch bottle that was designed by a man, judging from the size of the hole on the top. I can't even see my who-who these days, what makes y'all think I can aim well enough to get my pee into a two-inch opening?

Ah, I feel much better now. Great idea, Banana!

[wildgarden]

Bite me friends and family who get angry when I ask for space.

Bite me DH for fleeing when I am emotional, I need some lovin!

Bite me DS (guilt) for getting sick again. Or rather, bite me germs that are invading my DS when I am trying to relax and rest for birthing!

Bite me clitoris for being so sore...from what?!?!?

[hetaera]

Originally Posted by wildgarden

Bite me clitoris for being so sore...from what?!?!?

All I had to read was 'bite me clitoris' YIKES!


I am sorry, mine hurts sometimes too for no reason at all...
I will add mine later FOR SURE! I need to vent!

[candyapplez]

bite me dog for jumping up onnme making my belly bleed
bite me dh for saying you could go to xmas w/o dtd
bite me dh for saying you didn't want to a m/w apt today ( you haven't met this one ) that you'd rather play wow.
bite me clitoris (thanks wildgarden had to borrow it)
bite me friends who call to see how I'm doing. I know what you really are asking
bite me sil for telling me my fluid is going bad 3 days after edd
bite me rain I want to vacumn my car.

[aylaanne]

Originally Posted by Dena

Bite me 24-hour urine test catch bottle that was designed by a man, judging from the size of the hole on the top. I can't even see my who-who these days, what makes y'all think I can aim well enough to get my pee into a two-inch opening?

First of all, I cracked up through your post, and read it to DH. I'm sorry you're having these issues, but the way you wrote about them was really funny.

Second of all, if you have a larger, clean container you can pee into, do. You can then pour it into the collection bottle. In the hospitals we use "hats", which look exactly like they sound. It's basically a potty bucket you put under the seat of the toilet that has graduated measurements on the inside so you can keep track of how much you're peeing, then pour it into the collection container.

Now for me:

BITE ME allergies for making me so damned uncomfortable right now. I want to enjoy my last few weeks of being pregnant, instead I can't sleep because I can't breathe.

BITE ME ladybugs for thinking I'm a winter resort. Go away. You are creepy.

BITE ME bathroom tub for being too small for me to float in. I feel like that would really help right now and I'm kicking myself for not getting a birth tub, or a bathing suit, or both.

BITE ME laptop cable for breaking. You suck.

[Dena]

Originally Posted by aylaanne

BITE ME bathroom tub for being too small for me to float in. I feel like that would really help right now and I'm kicking myself for not getting a birth tub, or a bathing suit, or both.

Its ok, it was supposed to be funny. I need to be able to laugh at this stuff or I will scream. Loudly. And often.

I got a bathing suit in the last couple of weeks of my first pg - on clearance for like $10! You might go take a look around, esp. if you are planning on having more than one baby. Sounds like it might be totally worth it to be able to have even one afternoon of relief.

Oh, and I grabbed a funnel out of my kitchen. It is working nicely. Though I may never be able to cook with it again. Oh, well.

[hetaera]

Okay,
Bite me LOA coordinator, who claims (dispite ALL forms we've recieved) that I needed to get this stupid form filled out from a doctor for PARENTING leave... The from was talking as if husband would be taking care of ME because I am incapacitated, not bonding with his new child, which is THE WHOLE REASON FOR PARENTING LEAVE. (I could understand needing proof of pregnancy, I already had that but it apparently wasnt good enough)

Because of that...
BITE ME OBGYN offices who are unhelpful because 'we dont take patients just to fill out their forms' and for ASSuming that every midwife reports to an ob.
Bite me MOM for calling today and badgering me yet again about my decision to uc, and claiming ignorantly that if 'one of you died, someone would go to jail'

Most of all,
bite me. because I am way too sensitive for my own good right now and its a recipe for disaster.