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Anxiety already?!

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
Admittedly I already have a bit of trouble with this but I woke up quite sick and now can only seem to focus on the hard part of this whole 'nother baby thing. Like I'm going to be sick for a few more months and then uncomfortable and then deal with labor - I had a homebirth which was awesome but can I admit I'm afraid to go through that again - I mean it was terribly painful and I kinda wish I didn't care and could just go in for pain relief. Then I'll have the baby to take care of and the difficulties in that with two other active children along with the others I take care of.
Arrrrgghh. Morning sickness and it being 4:30 in the morning and wishing I could get sleep but knowing the min. I do fall asleep one of my kids will need me. I so need to get the little one to sleep more so I can deal with all of this. See I was soo happy and excited to be pregnant and have another one but once the sickness sets in all I can focus on is how miserable this is and why did I do this to myself again.

Thanks if you read any of this - I could use lots of encouragement.
post #2 of 4
I'm feeling somewhat similar, Jlse. I was not prepared to be pregnant again yet. We had only just decided we'd consider trying for another one in December so this really through me for a loop. Part of me actually thought, well, I'm about due for a miscarriage! Early on, I actually thought having one wouldn't bother me too much. However, now that I'm dealing with MS and exhaustion, I'm really hoping to not have to go through these early weeks again. I actually had a really bad dream last night. In the dream, I dreamt I had a MC - it was so real, I birthed the baby and the placenta into the toilet, right before heading on a camping trip with my dd's class. I "woke up" from the dream, still pregnant, only to proceed with having a MC in "real life". When I actually woke up this morning, I was extremely anxious, now wondering if I'm having a premonition. I've never had a MC dream before - lots of dreams about birthing a premature baby, but never a MC.
post #3 of 4
Hey you two...

I'm no expert, but I think your misgivings and anxieties sound rational and natural. Being pregnant, giving birth and mothering are three of the hardest things a person can do on this earth, so I think we need to let up on ourselves for some of the less "light & love" thoughts we might have. I'm having some reservations of my own sometimes.

It DOES suck to have m/s. It IS overwhelming to have two toddlers running around and waking through the night while you hobble through your 1st trimester, or to find yourself pregnant with another child when you thougth you might be done.

So I would say, let yourself acknowledge the hardships, and then try to breathe as much love and joy as you can into your own heart and your growing uterus. You don't want to get stuck in your anxiety/fear/mixed-feelings, but I think you have to let them live and then show them that the life force (love, joy, compassion, faith) exists all the while underneath and in the core of yourself.

Kind of a "This is hard, and ultimately, all will be well" approach.
post #4 of 4
I actually had a minor freak-out the first day I was thinking I was pregnant, at 5 dpo. Just the logistic stuff was giving me anxiety (nap time, night time, milk supply, all the stuff with having to move when the baby is due, etc.). That was short lived, though, and now I am at peace with it. So we'll just see when it comes back :P

Actually, though, I have chronic, lifelong anxiety, and it has definitely picked up with pregnancy. I'm managing to keep it in check with evening solo meditative walks and healthy food and lots of reassurance from my own mother

Hey, I figure lots of people have more than one or two kids, and they handle it, so I can, too, right? And so can you!
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