The internet is a fabulous thing, but I also think it is contributing to my paranoia. See, I'm very active on a different forum where I know a bunch of women who have had miscarriages. I myself have never had one, thank God. But knowing so many people who do just increases my worry that I will, you know? I'll be fine for most of the day, but then something will set me off worrying and I'll worry for a few hours until I am secure again. Today my issue is that I seem to have a lot of milk again, whereas yesterday I seemed very dry; I have a friend who had two early losses, and both of them were preceded by a sudden increase in milk supply. But she says it was sort of like returning to newborn engorgement, and she was able to pump 16 oz. in one sitting! Plus I know very well that DS was nursing like a fiend yesterday and the night before last, and I went way out of my way to eat and drink more today to keep my supply up, so those things should be reassuring to me. My supply basically seems to be back to normal, or maybe even a little more (but of course, DS nursed me dry yesterday, it would make sense to have a bit extra).
Anyway, it's just this paranoia. I wish I could just have faith in my body and in the world. I do, later in pregnancy and for birth, just early pregnancy is hard in this way for me. I was even worried with DS, and with him I'd been seeing an RE so we had the whole 48-hour hcg draws, then a 6 week and a 9 week ultrasound, followed by hearing the heartbeat at 12 weeks via doppler (and then I felt him move at 14/15 weeks). This time around it's more just taking things on faith, knowing that I had positive tests (I took one HPT with DS and have already taken maybe 6 this time!?), and the fact that I actually feel totally pregnant with food aversions and queasiness lol
so am I just crazy, or is this normal? And do y'all agree that "knowing" more people via the internet could contribute to this paranoia?
Anyway, it's just this paranoia. I wish I could just have faith in my body and in the world. I do, later in pregnancy and for birth, just early pregnancy is hard in this way for me. I was even worried with DS, and with him I'd been seeing an RE so we had the whole 48-hour hcg draws, then a 6 week and a 9 week ultrasound, followed by hearing the heartbeat at 12 weeks via doppler (and then I felt him move at 14/15 weeks). This time around it's more just taking things on faith, knowing that I had positive tests (I took one HPT with DS and have already taken maybe 6 this time!?), and the fact that I actually feel totally pregnant with food aversions and queasiness lol
so am I just crazy, or is this normal? And do y'all agree that "knowing" more people via the internet could contribute to this paranoia?
: Everything will be fine. Keep telling yourself that. I do - it does work.
