I wrote this today after attending my first birth as a doula and feel a strong need to share it with others who will understand.
"The Garudian of Birth"
I discovered today that being a midwife is not about the textbook, the classes and the exams. It is not an art that you can learn. It is a gift you either have or you don’t. Being a midwife necessitates a certain level of intellectual knowledge and firm understanding of the mechanics of birth, symptoms and treatment of innumerable complications, and protocols for handling every aspect of pregnancy and birth. But in the end it’s not at all about the standards of care or academic understanding. When you are face to face with the reality of birth it is all about reaching down inside yourself and finding out what is there.
The cognitive knowledge of birth needs to be so well ingrained in you that when you let go of your conscious cognition and begin acting with your heart and soul, that knowledge only guides the way. Assisting at a birth can not be about listing off the protocol for helping a mom through x, y and z. It’s not about the scrupulous notes you took at every class and conference you’ve attended. Being at birth is about looking deep inside and seeing who are. It’s about being given the opportunity to reach inside and discover that either have it or you don’t.
Today I discovered that I have it. Today I was faced the stark reality that I possess in my soul a guardian of birth. It was in the process of birthing my second son that I got the first glimpse of this goddess of birth. I discovered she was there. But it wasn’t until I was called upon to aide in another woman’s birth that I discovered who I really am. In that instant I was transformed. I let go of the cognitive realities that rule my daily life and opened myself to universal powers that called to me.
I could not have scripted the perfect words to say to her. I could not have planned the perfect way to support her. There was no protocol for me to follow. Instead there was my soul, guided by the universal powers that ride on the winds of a storm, directing my every word, my every move. I did not know what words would spill from my mouth until I heard them reverberating back. But as I watched her face gently melt with sighs of relief I saw the power I possessed. I saw that faced with the need to know what to say the words would be there without my control. I saw that whether or not I could have predicted how to respond, in the moment I just knew.
Just as that storm held my hand through Elijah’s birth, that guardian carried me today. I was watched over. I was protected. I was carried by that gust of wind. My birthing goddess rides in a carriage of white and gray. She swirls gracefully in the wind. She carries me through whatever perils I must traverse.
There are not words strong enough to express the conviction I have about my role as a guardian of birth. The words of fulfillment and peace don’t even come close to articulating the emotion that overflows in my soul. There are times in our life when the universe hold a door wide open for you and it is in stepping through that door that we find our inner peace. It’s about opening up to cosmic wonders of the world and allowing your soul to expand. And when you reach that point of finding your life’s purpose, your calling, your passion, the pieces suddenly fall into place. Every step of the journey of your life has brought you here and suddenly you know that you are embarking upon the greatest travel of your life. You are balanced, you are steady, you are whole.
"The Garudian of Birth"
I discovered today that being a midwife is not about the textbook, the classes and the exams. It is not an art that you can learn. It is a gift you either have or you don’t. Being a midwife necessitates a certain level of intellectual knowledge and firm understanding of the mechanics of birth, symptoms and treatment of innumerable complications, and protocols for handling every aspect of pregnancy and birth. But in the end it’s not at all about the standards of care or academic understanding. When you are face to face with the reality of birth it is all about reaching down inside yourself and finding out what is there.
The cognitive knowledge of birth needs to be so well ingrained in you that when you let go of your conscious cognition and begin acting with your heart and soul, that knowledge only guides the way. Assisting at a birth can not be about listing off the protocol for helping a mom through x, y and z. It’s not about the scrupulous notes you took at every class and conference you’ve attended. Being at birth is about looking deep inside and seeing who are. It’s about being given the opportunity to reach inside and discover that either have it or you don’t.
Today I discovered that I have it. Today I was faced the stark reality that I possess in my soul a guardian of birth. It was in the process of birthing my second son that I got the first glimpse of this goddess of birth. I discovered she was there. But it wasn’t until I was called upon to aide in another woman’s birth that I discovered who I really am. In that instant I was transformed. I let go of the cognitive realities that rule my daily life and opened myself to universal powers that called to me.
I could not have scripted the perfect words to say to her. I could not have planned the perfect way to support her. There was no protocol for me to follow. Instead there was my soul, guided by the universal powers that ride on the winds of a storm, directing my every word, my every move. I did not know what words would spill from my mouth until I heard them reverberating back. But as I watched her face gently melt with sighs of relief I saw the power I possessed. I saw that faced with the need to know what to say the words would be there without my control. I saw that whether or not I could have predicted how to respond, in the moment I just knew.
Just as that storm held my hand through Elijah’s birth, that guardian carried me today. I was watched over. I was protected. I was carried by that gust of wind. My birthing goddess rides in a carriage of white and gray. She swirls gracefully in the wind. She carries me through whatever perils I must traverse.
There are not words strong enough to express the conviction I have about my role as a guardian of birth. The words of fulfillment and peace don’t even come close to articulating the emotion that overflows in my soul. There are times in our life when the universe hold a door wide open for you and it is in stepping through that door that we find our inner peace. It’s about opening up to cosmic wonders of the world and allowing your soul to expand. And when you reach that point of finding your life’s purpose, your calling, your passion, the pieces suddenly fall into place. Every step of the journey of your life has brought you here and suddenly you know that you are embarking upon the greatest travel of your life. You are balanced, you are steady, you are whole.
