Thanks for thinking of me and checking in. The whole subject has been too unpalatable for me to talk about lately.
She's too awful. She refuses to cooperate with her caregiver for baths and diaper changes, then her whole room reeks of urine and stale sweat. We had to cancel a playdate for dd this weekend because it was just too embarrassing having people over.
Yesterday she inexplicably turned on one of her caregivers, screaming and cursing at the poor woman, telling her "I hate you! Get out of my house!" She called dh in the room and demanded that he 'escort her out'. Dh told her he absolutely would not and that she needed to get a grip. She was accusing the girl of falsifying her records to overcharge her, which is absurd because we pay a flat rate for them to come twice per day. The caregiver has no influence over what mom is charged. So that was fun trying to explain to dd on the way to her friend's birthday party.
Then today she accused dh of stealing 200k dollars from her. We have no idea where she came up with that sum or the idea in the first place. When the caregiver and the physical therapist came, she refused to cooperate, insisting that they help her call her bank to verify the theft. The social worker came out, and it was the same deal, only the social worker is obligated to take those reports seriously. So they spent the entire visit going through mom's financial records and talking with the bank. Of course her money is all there and nothing was amiss. So the social worker is even more convinced that she's crazy and has arranged for a formal psych eval tomorrow.
The worst part, for me, was this weekend. Dh brought home our xmas tree and we were trying to make it a happy celebration, decorating the tree with dd. This is the first xmas that she's really old enough to participate and remember.
Mom keeps interrupting us and calling me into the room saying that she wanted me to help her with physician assisted suicide. Even if we lived in Oregon, and even if I was licensed in OR - which we don't and I'm not - she would still not fit criteria because she doesn't have a terminal illness. Oregon law requires the person to have an expected lifespan of six months or less. Mom has a fractured vertebra, which will be fine with some physical therapy. She's going to live another 10 years.
So I asked her "Are you just expecting that I, or another doctor, will just lie and make up some terminal illness, risking not only our medical license and career, but also federal charges of murder? Mom, our lives would be destroyed if I was investigated for assisting a suicide. I'm raising a child. It's ridiculously selfish of you to ask that." She said "Not if you loved me."
I just blew up. I told her "Mom, you suck" and walked out of the room.
I'm so done.