Is this obnoxious?

[maymorales]

It is that season of preggy mamas in my large extended family once again. They are young, first time (very mainstream) moms expecting soon. Lots of baby showers coming up. So here's the question:

Is it terribly obnoxious / pushy for me to gift them my personal granola-in-training favorites like a carrier, pack of cloth diapers, and the Tummy-to-Tummy DVD or Attachment Parenting book?

Okay. I'm being selfish because I was to get preggy again, these are exactly what I'd want.

Looking for suggestions from experienced gifters.
TIA,
May

[Pyrodjm]

I think simple to use carriers like ergos and pouches make great shower gifts for non-crunchy mams. I like to give it with Dr. Sear's baby book.

[hippiechickinsing]

Gosh, I hope it's not obnoxious! I've given baby wraps before, mainly because I found a cool one and thought I'd share. I've also given the Dr. Sears book. It never occurred to me that someone would think I was trying to influence their parenting. Of course, these are all gifts that I'd like, too, so I guess I'm biased anyways.

[lilylove]

I don't think it's obnoxious. I almost always give an AP book and/or a carrier.

[UmmIbrahim]

Well, it depends...

I think a non-crunchy carrier would work...an Ergo, Patapum, perhaps a Kozy Mei Tai or a ringsling/adjustable pouch would work great, stress their versitility.

Id nix the cloth diapers-CDing is scary for alot of people, and they might go to waste or be used as burp cloths (good, but kinda a waste of $$ considering how much decent prefolds cost!)

The AP book...hmm, i donno...maybe, maybe not. Some AP books are really pushy and make you feel that you HAVE to do eerything AP to be considere AP'ing. Im not totally into AP per se, more into parenting according to what my husband and I feel is right-in our hearts and not according to our culture...but even then, some of the stuff ive read in the AP books makes me feel like im not quite good enough.
LOL...

I really think thou a carrier would be a GREAT idea!!!

I gave a quality jersey wrap 2 a friend...hopefully it'll be a gateway carrier becos shes LOVING it w/ her newborn. Im giving a RS to my sister whose expecting-she loves how easy it is for me to get around sans stroller using my carriers and at her babyshower I showed her friend who has a newborn how to use a RS.

Umm Ibi

[ann_of_loxley]

Sometimes people just dont know hun!....so spread your knowledge on the matter!!!... I mean, you call them 'mainstream'...but perhaps they are not mainstream by choice!....I only learned about AP after my son was born and wish I had friends like you around before I even got pregnant! hehe

I think simple to use carriers like ergos and pouches make great shower gifts for non-crunchy mams. I like to give it with Dr. Sear's baby book.

That sounds like a great idea!.... And though its not really the same, I even give wooden toys as gifts to others children. They get the idea that what I would like as well - and I feel good that I also doing something good - subjecting my lifestyle on others in a....good way! lol

[hubris]

I think I'd go with an Attached to Baby gift card, tucked into a copy of The Baby Book. ATB carries sooo many different types of carriers that they could find something that suits them, but you'd definitely be exposing them to the wonders of babywearing.

[amberskyfire]

I think slings are great for moms who are non-crunchy. Even mainstream moms are getting into them now and if they just have one on hand, they are more likely to use it than if they didn't have one or didn't know about it. Besides that, a lot of mainstream women are getting into them now because of all of the celebrities using them recently.

[KatWrangler]

Originally Posted by Pyrodjm

I think simple to use carriers like ergos and pouches make great shower gifts for non-crunchy mams. I like to give it with Dr. Sear's baby book.

Thats what I was thinking. You don't want to turn them off, but introducing them to crunchiness would be good.

[laohaire]

Originally Posted by hubris

I think I'd go with an Attached to Baby gift card, tucked into a copy of The Baby Book. ATB carries sooo many different types of carriers that they could find something that suits them, but you'd definitely be exposing them to the wonders of babywearing.

I second this. I did exactly this for a client of mine. Unfortunately I never heard from her again (no thank you, nothing) but I still felt good giving that gift, since she could find SOMETHING she liked there!

[maymorales]

Thank you! Very reassuring suggestions. I guess I should've added that I felt weird giving my crunchy-minded gifts because my BIL joked, "so what kinda granola gifts are you going to send so-and-so?" :
I gave an Ergo w/The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD to my cousin but she has used very little of both.

The carrier seems like it's still kosher enough for moms from all walks of life. But how about a stash of cloth nappies? Is that a waste of time & $$$? Should I throw-in a mini shower to make it easier for the new parents? Or should I go with a gift certificate to a local diapering service?

I hope you all don't mind me asking this: Would Beco's be not mainstream enough? I know it's kinda girly (in prints) and not gender neutral to some folks. I've offered an old neighbor back in NYC to pick any carrier from my site as a gift. She already had the baby back in July. She hasn't said anything (& I've reminded her another time) Just wondering why? I mean, she'd get so much use out of a carrier, having to walk her ds to and from her dd's school every morning and afternoon. She wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs in a stroller...okay. ramblin' now...

TIA for all the helpful tips.
It's all about spreading crunchy love.

[Quirky]

I agree with UmmIbi, I would nix the cloth diapers. That's a much bigger commitment and frankly NOT as easy as sposies (and I'm a dedicated CDer/ECer). Unless someone's going to make the commitment, that element of the gift will go to waste.

I really like The Baby Book, and I think the idea of a carrier is great, too -- although as much as I love Ergos and Becos, I don't think they're necessarily easy for the little baby stage. I think that a gift certificate and an offer of guidance from you in helping them choose something is a great idea.

I find that many new parents who have no previous exposure to babywearing are absolutely overwhelmed by the choices online and don't know which way to go. I have found that even showing people 1 brand of each of 5 different carriers is enough to make them ::: so I think your personal help in choosing/using one could make all the difference.

[VijayOwens]

That's why the Tummy2Tummy video is so great. You can give that with a promise of whatever carrier they think they would use based on the video.

Or you can give the video and a gift certificate and say, "Hey, once you've watched the video, you can pick out a (ringsling/pouch/meitai/wrap/beco) whatever."

ITA that people sometimes get : when you present too many sling options, but some people really want all that info. I always teach based on what they are asking. And with some people the questions just keep coming, and therefore I just keep showing and telling.

As far as "selling" AP or the crunchy lifestyle to people that is tricky IMO. We all wandered down this path in our own way. Having someone grab you and pull you down the path might be a turnoff. I am not saying that is what you are doing, and I could be wrong anyway. Just saying that if you try to get them to BF and Babywear and co-sleep and cloth diaper they might feel a little cornered or pressured.

Babywearing is one "gateway" to AP, lol. The rest of it I feel all you can do is just lead by example and just hope for the best. If they come to you for advice then you can tell them what you think. Just my two cents.

-Vijay

[UmmIbrahim]

May I add that, id seriously stay away from pouches UNLESS you know the moms pre-prego size, current prego size and can get sizing help from the company...BECOS, you cant imagine the amount of new moms I run into w/ pouches which are sized REALLY REALLY wrong...either too big or too small. Its scary seeing a baby in a Hotsling that looks like a low slung purse...nice gift idea...close but no cigar.
If you cant get exact sizes...Id reall suggest a adjustable pouch at the bare minimum, that way even if the mom looses weight post pregnancy-which most women do, it'll STILL fit, and as the baby gets bigger, she can adjust it to fit that.

Or get a basic ring sling, my sister is expecting and they are NOT crunchy-just trying to manage...and her and her sig. other are getting a sling from me...they both love the concept and ease of use. Im actually getting a pouch/sling hybred called a Wise Woman Sling-they r sposed to be more "fool-proof" than a traditional sling. Less of a learning curve.
So thats always an option- a adjustable pouch or a pouch/sling hybrid (Rosy Baby lite on shoulder makes them too).

Thats another option.

Ibi is tired, off to get him to sleep.

[UmmIbrahim]

May I add that, id seriously stay away from pouches UNLESS you know the moms pre-prego size, current prego size and can get sizing help from the company...BECOS, you cant imagine the amount of new moms I run into w/ pouches which are sized REALLY REALLY wrong...either too big or too small. Its scary seeing a baby in a Hotsling that looks like a low slung purse...nice gift idea...close but no cigar.
If you cant get exact sizes...Id reall suggest a adjustable pouch at the bare minimum, that way even if the mom looses weight post pregnancy-which most women do, it'll STILL fit, and as the baby gets bigger, she can adjust it to fit that.

Or get a basic ring sling, my sister is expecting and they are NOT crunchy-just trying to manage...and her and her sig. other are getting a sling from me...they both love the concept and ease of use. Im actually getting a pouch/sling hybred called a Wise Woman Sling-they r sposed to be more "fool-proof" than a traditional sling. Less of a learning curve.
So thats always an option- a adjustable pouch or a pouch/sling hybrid (Rosy Baby lite on shoulder makes them too).

Thats another option.

Ibi is tired, off to get him to sleep.

[GooeyRN]

Originally Posted by Pyrodjm

I think simple to use carriers like ergos and pouches make great shower gifts for non-crunchy mams. I like to give it with Dr. Sear's baby book.

Yeah that!!!

[Googy]

I would definitely give them the Dr. Sears book and a simple carrier. I think those are fabulous gifts. I'd nix the cloth diapers too--chances are they will never use them and they are really expensive. If you want to add something else think about a Boppy or something else breastfeeding-supportive without being obnoxiously so...

[rmzbm]

Not at all obnoxious. But, yeah, simple is probably best! How thoughtful of you!

[pixiepunk]

I think simple to use carriers like ergos and pouches make great shower gifts for non-crunchy mams. I like to give it with Dr. Sear's baby book.

this is exactly what i did for my pretty mainstream aunt when she had her first. i made her the ring sling, and bought her a copy of dr. sears baby book. she told me they referred to that book a million times in the first year, and they used the sling a lot too. they're still pretty mainstream, but i feel like maybe a little less so than they might have been, thanks to me

[midwestmeg]

Dr. Sears baby book!