how do you keep from stressing about finances?

[caedmyn]

DH doesn't have a job right now, and I'm stressed. Our living expenses are pretty low because we're living rent-free and don't have a car payment. But DD and I have some minor medical issues that will probably necessitate visits to a naturopath, DD needs new shoes, I need a new pillow and a really good massage so I can sleep without my neck killing me...and I stress about all these things. It's not like we have absolutely no money to pay for these things, but I hate taking money out of savings, or, in the case of the naturopath, spending money on something that may very well not help anyway.

So...how do you keep from stressing? I stress about everything anyway, but I've got to find a way to relax.

[Ruthiegirl]

A big relaxing hug to you.

What do I do?

A hot bath, time with dh, time with friends, really good sex, a picnic in the park, kite flying with the kids...

I focus on all the fun and free and good things in my life. We work in our garden, we camp out in the backyard, I clean out a closet and give things away that I don't need, I knit something, I listen to music and stories, I play and enjoy and eat something really good. We host a potluck and spend a nice evening with friends.

I am cashless this week and it is raining. The kids and I are on our way to the library for a good book binge. We love to do this and it is so fulfilling for everyone.

There is so much to do that can make me feel well and nourished emotionally and spiritually that doesn't involve money.

[nd_deadhead]

I feel better when everything is on paper - expected income, fixed expenses, upcoming expenses. I plot it out for a couple of months, and I can see if next month is going to be better or worse (more or less income, periodic expenses, etc). Part of the stress comes from uncertainty, and if you know EXACTLY where you stand - even if it's bad - you don't have the fear of the unknown.

Best wishes to you on getting through this period.

[heatherdeg]

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead

I feel better when everything is on paper - expected income, fixed expenses, upcoming expenses. I plot it out for a couple of months, and I can see if next month is going to be better or worse (more or less income, periodic expenses, etc). Part of the stress comes from uncertainty, and if you know EXACTLY where you stand - even if it's bad - you don't have the fear of the unknown.

Best wishes to you on getting through this period.

OMG... my soulmate. This is me, too... although sometimes it makes me feel worse!

But I do it... because I need to know what is anticipated so that I know when to take advantage of something that comes my way. I keep from stressing by being too busy finding a better way... kwim? At some point, it actually becomes a game to find better ways to save money or increase our wealth.

And it helps to have faith. You don't have to be christian to have faith. We believe in fate. We know that if we are doing our best, somehow what is supposed to happen for us will happen and that anything that happens to us is preparing us for something in the future. It's not license to slack off and leave EVERYthing in fate's hands; but it helps us to feel like our efforts are not for naught... kwim?

[heatherdeg]

Another thing about having it on paper going several months into the future (I am guilty of going 15 months ahead sometimes ) is that you KNOW why you can't do this or that... because when you look at your monthly and see that in June, bill XYZ will be paid in FULL, you know that $100 this month on something that can wait until July means that you can pay off XYZ as scheduled... kwim?

And write yourself a set of goals. We have 2-3 goals for each of the following timeframes:

* by end of 6 months
* by end of 1 year
* by end of 3 years
* by end of 5, 10, 15, 20 & 25 years (each)

They are completely attainable... not a REAL stretch. We had them on the fridge and life was very easy then: did this purchase contribute to our goals or didn't it? If it did, we purchased (or invested). If it didn't, that was the end of it.

We actually just redid them and are clearing the fridge so that this is the only thing on there. Then it's in our face all the time. Life was MUCH easier when we had a clear direction and a clear set of objectives--because those dictated our actions... kwim? You and your dh need to be completely on the same page about the goals, though. With us, DH & I each have a personal goal and then a "together" goal. We respect that our personal goals are very important and we have to help one another obtain those--as well as the "together" goal. In truth, we've agreed to each others goals (like dh finishing his degree--which is a matter of writing a paper : But we both know how seriously it needs to be done... kwim?)

This helped us not just with money, but with how we spend our time.

[Starr]

Honeslty, I ask my self whats the worste that can happen. Living on a tight budget stinks, however DH and I never seem to fight about finances, DD is home with us, and we are all relatively healthy. In the big picture I would rather deal with finances over health and marital problems.

[Sharlla]

I'm a very optimistc person. I also take charge of my life. No matter what has come my way I have moved on to find a solution.

[lmonter]

A written budget.
Seriously.
It made all the difference to me. I was losing sleep at night and everything. Dh was slightly worried, too, but not to the same degree as me. Writing down a spending plan, sticking to it, having a plan for saving for inevitable expenses and paying off debt was all it took for me. Sure, we're not completely debt free yet as we had to go get a bigger car and saving $13K in 2 months just ain't gonna happen around here, but we have our plan and it's realistic and doable.