Feeling worried

[prairiemommy]

Hi all,

I don't normally hang out around here but I have a situation with which I need help. I have three DSs - all intact. My 4 yo has an inguinal hernia though and is off for a consult with the surgeon tomorrow. Normally not a big deal but the surgeon we were referred to - b/c he is the most experienced pediatric surgeon for hernias - is also one of the circumcision docs in the city (there are only 3 who do circ's as it is not covered by the provincial medical plan).

I am so paranoid that he is going to touch DS's foreskin either during the exam or during the surgery. Obviously I will watch like a hawk during the exam but I can't be in the operating room with them. I would assume that they are going to cath DS too while he's under, right? Ack - I'm just beside myself with worry that someone will pull it back. It does go back a bit but not nearly all the way yet (DS plays with it himself).

So, short of using magic marker on his tummy the day of surgery, how can I let them know to leave it alone? I'm afraid that by staunchly expressing my opinion, the doc will purposely try to do something to it. I think I actually have an irrational fear of this doc just b/c he chooses to do circs. I don't want to change docs though b/c he comes so highly recommended and it would really set us back for time (it took us a month to get to this point).

Please calm me down and share some helpful strategies for communicating my wishes to the doc.

Thanks in advance!

[Mandynee22]

I would discuss it casually during the consult. Just a simple "so you know, DS is not circ'd and his foreskin doesn't retract yet- which is fine. I just wanted to let you know so that you don't accidentally retract it" or something non confrontational. Maybe bring in some catheter and intact info?
GL!!

[trmpetplaya]

I'd have him sign a legal agreement (PM Dave2GA, I believe is his sn, he's a lawyer) and let the doctor know that he'd be facing a serious lawsuit if my son's penis was in any way harmed by premature retraction while under the doc's care.

love and peace.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

You can sit down with him and have a long talk during the consult about how you do not want ds retracted at all or his foreskin touched in any way. If you get the vib from him that he is poohpoohing you then bring out the intact care agreement go over it with him and make him sign it. Make sure he understands that you can and will sue if he messes with your ds's foreskin. This of course only if you get the impression he thinks he knows better than you.

[Sijae]

I would talk about it in detail with him at the appointment and let him know that you do not want his foreskin retracted or messed with for any reason (mention that you are aware that it's possible to catheterize without retraction). I would also write it on every consent form I signed that there was to be no messing with his foreskin (in specific language). I would also mention it to every nurse and doctor involved. I'd be paranoid too!

Laura

[Fyrestorm]

I agree with all the PPs...but I would also write it on his belly with a sharpie on the day of surgery. You don't know who else might be in the OR and you don't know what they do or do not know about an intact penis. Why take any chances.