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UCer's becoming doulas/midwifes - Page 5

post #81 of 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
Lately I have been thinking ALOT about becoming a doula to improve woman's birth experiences in this mainstream, medicalized culture.

I FULLY support UC and believe that women do not need assistance in birth. However, so many women are saturated in the NEED.

Would it be wrong to try and reduce the fear of birth by assisting women in having natural and beautiful births as a doula or a midwife?

Ok...discuss
1st:
I dont know how it could ever be seen as wrong to help a motherbaby have a healthier mental, spiritual and physical experience of birth. If someone were to suggest it was - I would have to say they were AWFUL narrow minded.

I fully support UC, have done it twice, may do it again this pregnancy.

--- I however do not agree that as a 'rule of thumb' you can say that "women do not need assistance in birth".

For many women, Hospital go-er's, home birther's, and UC'ers alike: find, enjoy, and are quite greatful for the support they receive from those present [either mates, doulas, midwives, friends and family].

Sure, it is theoretically possible in a perfect world where all women are empowered, strong, self reliant, and didn't need anyone's support or presence in their birth.... but is that really what its all about? Many women find great bonding with their mate in their [sometimes] powerless state and his protection/caring for her.
Strong 'I don't need anyone' types of mothers to be can and do find that, yes, indeed, birth can be long, tiring, and support is a welcomed godsend.

Some learn in the process, that yes, it's ok to need others sometimes, yes its ok to trust, and so on.



I doula, and will till I die.


post #82 of 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirthingGoddesses View Post
--- I however do not agree that as a 'rule of thumb' you can say that "women do not need assistance in birth".

For many women, Hospital go-er's, home birther's, and UC'ers alike: find, enjoy, and are quite greatful for the support they receive from those present [either mates, doulas, midwives, friends and family].

Sure, it is theoretically possible in a perfect world where all women are empowered, strong, self reliant, and didn't need anyone's support or presence in their birth.... but is that really what its all about? Many women find great bonding with their mate in their [sometimes] powerless state and his protection/caring for her.
Strong 'I don't need anyone' types of mothers to be can and do find that, yes, indeed, birth can be long, tiring, and support is a welcomed godsend.

Some learn in the process, that yes, it's ok to need others sometimes, yes its ok to trust, and so on.

agreed, agreed and agreed.

But there are also strong, empowered, self reliant women who simpy ENJOY other women and assistants at their births. For those for whom UC is theri ideal, more power to them. But for MOST their idea of a perfect birth includes others.

I liked this thread when it was begun

I've since began nursing school, in time I'd like to be a homebirth or hospital based CNM. we'll see. it's lifetimes before I'll graduate
post #83 of 95
: I want to me a MW one day.
post #84 of 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
I like being cared for. I liked having food made for me, laundry done, clean up magically happen, tea made for me, a warm bath for me when I was ready, my back rubbed.

this is what my husband is for!
.....
but seriously, my husband does all of those things for me. i think it's because he's "the best."
chime in too! My husband was fabulous- and almost doula-like as fas knowing what I needed, back rubs, drinks, etc. When I started to get a little panicky - he calmly asked me to 'come back down here, this is where you are supposed to be, down here'. It isn't that he didn't do that for me - it is that he also had to do everything else, food, more towels - thus not be just with me and our baby immediately after the birth as much as I would have liked.

A doula may have made a difference by taking care of those things non-intrusively, and that would have let him feel relaxed to be just with us.
post #85 of 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Mamaterra~ View Post
I am a doula because I UC'ed and want to support a woman in labour and birthing the way that she wants to birth. But I am hands off (thats' why I UC'ed) and as a result, I couldn't see myself taking an "active role" in a birth like that of a CNM or laymw.

I could imagine being a doula but not a midwife.

I can't imagine a scenario where I would or should have to put my hands inside another woman during her labor or birth ... examine her, instruct her, etc. As a UCer, I feel that the woman herself is the 'expert' and wouldn't want someone to look to me in that capacity. I would not want to diagnose or examine. It's just not me.

I can see me supporting and offering friendship, massage, clean up, etc ... much like a sister or friend ... but not taking on the role of birth expert.
post #86 of 95
Yay for bumping up this thread! It started a month before I had my youngest - my UC. I had a birth party and it was fantastic:

Since then, I've finally followed through on becoming a LLL leader and am working towards becoming a Trust Birth facilitator. I've been getting more involved in the local birth community...and yep, still planning to be a homebirth midwife when my kids are older. I'm very excited about it!
post #87 of 95
I'm in the process of become a doula. I'm also pregnant and planning a UC. I would love to be a doula at an otherwise unattended birth. I think that it fits perfectly- I believe in mothers and their bodies and I think that empowering a laboring mom and supporting her in her own abilities can create a wonderful birth. I would love to have a doula that supported UC and would just act like a friend and a comforter.
post #88 of 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamaperk View Post

I could imagine being a doula but not a midwife.

I can't imagine a scenario where I would or should have to put my hands inside another woman during her labor or birth ... examine her, instruct her, etc. As a UCer, I feel that the woman herself is the 'expert' and wouldn't want someone to look to me in that capacity. I would not want to diagnose or examine. It's just not me.

I can see me supporting and offering friendship, massage, clean up, etc ... much like a sister or friend ... but not taking on the role of birth expert.
But see...that's just it. Midwives don't have to put their hands inside another woman during her labor or birth. They don't have to be the expert and diagnose or examine. They can be that person offering support and friendship, massage and clean-up. This is my vision of a midwife.

They can also fill a roll of helping in case of an emergency...because emergencies DO happen. They are RARE, but they happen. And I, for one, would much rather have a midwife on stand-by to help in case of an emergency instead of having to go to the hospital. I would rather a midwife suture me in case of tears instead of having to go to the hospital. I would want a midwife's one-on-one care throughout the postpartum period if needed, instead of having to see a doctor. Unfortunately, most midwives won't fill that roll (if you did not birth with them) due to liability. That's why I'd like to be a midwife, though. To fill that roll of support person who can offer further skills in case of emergency, and to be there for UCers who would like additional care.
post #89 of 95
^^^ Yes, and that's what I want to provide. AND, many midwives don't do labor stuff because "that not what I'm there for." I'd rather be there for the mama in any way she wants me to be there. I'm not going to be "expert" to tell her how to birth. My expertise (hopefully) will be in providing the care she wants me to provide and obviously in case of true emergency.
post #90 of 95
Any wannabe doulas thinking of learning massage as well???
post #91 of 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by feminine_earth View Post
But see...that's just it. Midwives don't have to put their hands inside another woman during her labor or birth. They don't have to be the expert and diagnose or examine. They can be that person offering support and friendship, massage and clean-up. This is my vision of a midwife.
And also to take the role of getting the husband to agree to homebirth.

Right now, I know a few women who, although the desire to birth at home have husbands that are completely against it . . . husbands that might be swayed if there were practicing midwives around . . .
post #92 of 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by feminine_earth View Post
But see...that's just it. Midwives don't have to put their hands inside another woman during her labor or birth. They don't have to be the expert and diagnose or examine. They can be that person offering support and friendship, massage and clean-up. This is my vision of a midwife.

They can also fill a roll of helping in case of an emergency...because emergencies DO happen. They are RARE, but they happen. And I, for one, would much rather have a midwife on stand-by to help in case of an emergency instead of having to go to the hospital. I would rather a midwife suture me in case of tears instead of having to go to the hospital. I would want a midwife's one-on-one care throughout the postpartum period if needed, instead of having to see a doctor. Unfortunately, most midwives won't fill that roll (if you did not birth with them) due to liability. That's why I'd like to be a midwife, though. To fill that roll of support person who can offer further skills in case of emergency, and to be there for UCers who would like additional care.
I really think it depends on your state, and the legality of midwifery. If you want to be a 'legal' midwife, there are some things that you HAVE to do or your license can be yanked - and I do believe that a certain minimum of monitoring during labor is one of those things in MANY states. If you want to be an 'illegal' midwife, of course, you can do what you and the mother want - but you also have to be willing to face the legal repercussions of that, if it comes down to it because the State can prosecute you for 'practicing medicine without a license'. And, of course, if you aren't a 'legal' midwife, going to the hospital with a mother in the case of an emergency may actually hurt rather than help. :

The line between being able to fully honor the mothers wishes and still remain within the legal guidelines is starting to creep and eat away at midwives autonomy and independence - and that, for me has become the largest reason why I wouldn't want to be a midwife anymore. I don't think - at least not in Tn. - I could practice free of any higher guidelines besides - what serves mother best? without concerning myself about being involved in legal battles.
post #93 of 95
When I was pregnant, I thought, "Hey, it'd be cool to be a doula/midwife."

Then I had a baby.

I was in labor for a long time and if I had had a professional of any type there, I would have using them as a crutch, asking them, "I'm feeling this--- is that ok?" instead of listening to my body.

I really think you find a new piece of yourself when you're up against labor and you have to do it yourself. I have chosen not to go the route of birth professional because I don't want to keep other women from finding that part of themselves. I don't want to be their crutch- I want them to do it on their own. That's what is so empowering about UC.
post #94 of 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by TopHat View Post
When I was pregnant, I thought, "Hey, it'd be cool to be a doula/midwife."

Then I had a baby.

I was in labor for a long time and if I had had a professional of any type there, I would have using them as a crutch, asking them, "I'm feeling this--- is that ok?" instead of listening to my body.

I really think you find a new piece of yourself when you're up against labor and you have to do it yourself. I have chosen not to go the route of birth professional because I don't want to keep other women from finding that part of themselves. I don't want to be their crutch- I want them to do it on their own. That's what is so empowering about UC.
I differ on this opinion. If more laid back mw's aren't going to be 'around', then most likely people will actually have the opposite of UC... highly medicalized birth. It's not like women will magically come to the realization of UC like we all did. I think it would be awesome to support a mother to birth how she chose. Maybe after she had an experience with a hands off MW, she would want a UC next time. But I do not ever believe that all women should UC. It's not for everyone, yk?
post #95 of 95
You know, that's why I wanted to UC with the first. I wanted to figure out how to do it on my own before letting anyone else stick their nose in it. I'm still planning to UC #2, but the idea of having a midwife doesn't freak me out nearly as much.

With my daughter our UC ended with assistance. We got all the way to pushing, then labor stalled, we freaked out and called 911. After that, I lost all control and all knowledge of what was happening. I feel comfortable and confident about labor, but I still feel a bit of confusion and lack of knowledge about birth itself even though I birthed my daughter.

I feel like even thought a midwife would be very different from a paramedic, if I had allowed someone else to interfere with the rest of my birthing experience I wouldn't have learned to birth- I would have only learned to trust my midwife to help me birth.

When I become a doula I plan to be a support only. I will not give advice or suggestions for anything related to figuring it out. I want to help a mom stay calm, to find a comfortable position, to give her things she needs (water, compresses, etc.) and to be a part of that beautiful experience. I do not want to interfere with the process or to tell her what to do or how to do it- and I plan to make that quite clear when I'm interviewed by a potential client.

I'd love to be known as a doula that works with UC familes without compromising the tenants and point of UCing. I want to take on the role of trusted friend, gopher, support- not of guide, teacher or instructor.
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