Formula....the new rebellion...

[ann_of_loxley]

I just dont get it ....and maybe I will never understand it... There is a new attitude going around about breastfeeding and a lot of people I know have this attitude.... That is to say, with comments such as these : 'Well breastfeeding was shoved down my throat so much I just didnt want to breastfeed my child in the end!' or ' The breastfeeding brigade have such a sanctimonious attitude towards breastfeeding that its just put me off wanting to breastfeed'.... : I just seems so silly to me! Like teenage rebellion! lol.... What on earth do you say to people who makes such comments?

[bobbirs]

because they want an excuse for FF. That is the only thing I can think of...like they wanted to FF in the beginning and that is their excuse now for doing it!

Bobbi

[hipmummy]

Originally Posted by bobbirs

because they want an excuse for FF. That is the only thing I can think of...like they wanted to FF in the beginning and that is their excuse now for doing it!

Bobbi

:

[turtlewomyn]

That is why I am breastfeeding, because formula was getting shoved down my throat. My MIL wanted to buy me a big pitcher from pampered chef to mix up big batches of formula, my SIL told me I wouldn't be able to breastfeed, just like her, and the formula companies just kept sending coupons/checks and formula samples to my door. Heck, the hospital nurse even sent me home with some similac and instructions to supplement (not to mention what the ped said at two weeks when DD didn't gain back her birth weight). Formula was just shoved down my throat so much I didn't want to formula feed in the end.

[RoadWorkAhead]

I'm with Kristen in this. I think many of us still have a bit of the bucking conformity gene in us. So while some use it to justify FF, I used to BF. Everyone but my parents was convinced I wouldn't be able to, if I did, my milk wouldn't be good enough, yada yada. Just made me more determined to do what I already planned to do.

[sogriffin]

If that was a reasonable line of logic, then car safety campaigns would be causing people to NOT put their babies in car seats right?

[songbh]

In that situation, I might say something that would a) affirm her feelings but b) lead her awareness to the broader context. Something like:

Yes, it's a bit relentless, isn't it? But keep in mind that the campaigns exist for a reason. Breastfeeding really is an important public health issue, but with all the formula advertising and our culture's general hostility towards breastfeeding, there are actually an awful lot of mothers who won't get this information unless it comes from a lot of different sources.

[peacelovingmama]

I have come across that attitude too.

I just can't imagine compromising my child's health to indulge my desire to "rebel.":

[MeepyCat]

I totally get it.

Look, I'm a reasonable person. A responsible adult. I want the best for my kid. I'm strongly in favor of breastfeeding, even lactivist. And some of the attitudes I hear from other lactivists just plain piss me off. It's hard for me to feel that, in feeding my baby and advocating for breastfeeding, I'm associating myself with people who seem to go out of their way to make women who can't or don't breastfeed feel excluded, isolated and ashamed. I have had casual conversations with people who, when they hear that I breastfeed, feel spontaneously moved to defend their own choice or need for formula, and what that says to me is that they presume that, because I breastfeed and they don't, I am planning to attack them. I hate that.

So sometimes I think that women arrive at formula feeding as a means of ensuring that they can maintain their social support networks, of assuring themselves and their friends that they're not going to lash out on this issue: "Hey, it's okay, it's just me, I'm just folks - look, you're safe, I use formula."

And I wish that approach didn't make sense to anybody, but things are what they are, and I see how it does.

[neverdoingitagain]

Originally Posted by sogriffin

If that was a reasonable line of logic, then car safety campaigns would be causing people to NOT put their babies in car seats right?

I think the difference is that many people have seen or heard of incidences where a carseat saved the life of an adult or child. We've all heard of incidences and probably got the e-mails or seen the commercials in which a child has died horrifically from NOT being buckled in.
Meanwhile, formula/breastmilk is viewed more as a commercial/organic food debate. We rarely, if ever hear of the negative side effects of ABM, and even if we do, there is the whole "oh, pretty much everything is bad for you, so eat/do what you want" attitude.
Sadly, I don't see this attitude changing unless there is a truly catasrophic incident involving ABM fed children, ie. death by formula.

[roxyrox]

I think I would wonder what sort of "lactivism" they had been exposed to to make them think like that. 'Cause if that's how it makes them feel it's not lactivism is it?

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by roxyrox

I think I would wonder what sort of "lactivism" they had been exposed to to make them think like that. 'Cause if that's how it makes them feel it's not lactivism is it?

No, it isnt lactivism, in the way most mamas here define it. But I don't think we need to wonder what sort of "lactivism" these women have been exposed to. We know what kind it is. The self-righteous, shaming kind. Come on, we know those women are out there. They show up here pretty regularly, as well.

Take one not-too-educated-about-breastfeeding, not-surrounded-by-breastfeeders woman + one of the bad "lactivists" and you've got a recipe for ff. Shouldn't surprise anyone.

[Ruthla]

If women are being put off by some lactivism, then we need to figure out what kind of BF promotions are causing these problems so we can fix it.

The focus truly needs to be on formula companies, not individual families who use formula for whatever reason. We need to be supportive of ALL mothers- because mothers who don't feel supported are less likely to do well by their children in all areas of parenting. Women who FF and don't feel alienated by lactivists are more likely to BF future children, and be supportive of their grandkids being BF someday.

It really is possible to normalize BF without alienating FF mothers. All babies are precious, no matter how they're fed.

[myfairbabies]

Originally Posted by MeepyCat

I have had casual conversations with people who, when they hear that I breastfeed, feel spontaneously moved to defend their own choice or need for formula, and what that says to me is that they presume that, because I breastfeed and they don't, I am planning to attack them. I hate that.

I don't think it has to do with the fact that you breastfeed, because (and people that have no clue how I feel about it) mothers tell me all the time about why they are formula feeding, trying to make up good reasons. I think it's just guilt. I've never even brought it up with the mothers, but they just come up with all these crazy reasons (my 6 month old is SO BIG, I can't imagine breastfeeding him, he's just too big) and some legit ones out of the blue to explain to me why they aren't breastfeeding.

[jimblejamble]

That totally describes my sister! She had her baby boy last June ('06) and she was on the fence about breastfeeding. She asked my mom and I what our opinions were and so I told her it's better for the baby because amongst other things, it can help prevent diseases later in life, and it's beneficial for HER body as well. Then she said "Well I don't want to flash people in public". I told her she could use a little blanket or burp cloth to cover herself. Then she said she couldn't because she had to work. I told her she could do it half-and-half and breastfeed when she was home. THEN she said she "couldn't" because she had "inverted nipples". I told her plenty of women do and are happily breastfeeding. The more I encouraged her the more stubborn she became. I wasn't even being forceful about it! She had questions and I was just answering her. My mom was no help. "Well yeah I think she should breastfeed too but you can't force her and it is HER baby anyway". :

[sonrisaa29]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

If women are being put off by some lactivism, then we need to figure out what kind of BF promotions are causing these problems so we can fix it.

The focus truly needs to be on formula companies, not individual families who use formula for whatever reason. We need to be supportive of ALL mothers- because mothers who don't feel supported are less likely to do well by their children in all areas of parenting. Women who FF and don't feel alienated by lactivists are more likely to BF future children, and be supportive of their grandkids being BF someday.

It really is possible to normalize BF without alienating FF mothers. All babies are precious, no matter how they're fed.

Thank you for saying this

[songbh]

I notice that the original poster is in the UK, where, from what I understand at least, breastfeeding advocacy has quite a bit more institutional oomph behind it.

We in this thread are tending to assume that PO'd ff mothers got that way because of in-your-face one-on-one lactivistic encounters with other mothers. If, instead, the UK moms are reacting to public health campaigns, then the OP's portrayal of it as rebellion against authority fits a bit better.

[turtlewomyn]

Originally Posted by roxyrox

I think I would wonder what sort of "lactivism" they had been exposed to to make them think like that. 'Cause if that's how it makes them feel it's not lactivism is it?

I also have encountered people that have been exposed to this type of "lactivism" and it completely taints them for all future efforts. For instance, MIL's cousin said something about how the "lactation nazi" from the hospital had called (a month or two pp, to check up on her I suppose). Then she went on to say that the LC was actually pretty nice, but that someone in the hospital had made her feel really bad. So, she had been exposed to some of that "lactivism" and it made her shut out any future attempts from someone trying to do real lactivism.

[ann_of_loxley]

Originally Posted by songbh

I notice that the original poster is in the UK, where, from what I understand at least, breastfeeding advocacy has quite a bit more institutional oomph behind it.

We in this thread are tending to assume that PO'd ff mothers got that way because of in-your-face one-on-one lactivistic encounters with other mothers. If, instead, the UK moms are reacting to public health campaigns, then the OP's portrayal of it as rebellion against authority fits a bit better.

Thats exactly where we are at in the UK. And exactly what 90% of mothers who say that type of thing are going up against. The other 10% are directed at 'pro breastfeeding' mothers. ... TBH though, sometimes I think you can just never win. I think everyone bf for a different reason - or many people are swayed/encouraged to bf for different reasons. I have some friends who say 'it was the health benefits that encouraged me to bf' and others who say 'it was the fact it was food on the go that encouraged me - I couldnt be bothered to fix formula!'...lol Whilst some people are swayed by one thing, and others by another thing - you could 'offend' the other by trying to sway/encourage thing through another thing, another reason to bf.... if any of that makes sense...:... Though to be quite honest, bf/ff never really comes up IRL! I havnt actually ever had much conversation about it - let alone any debates about it IRL!... I do not think I have ever met an 'in your face lactivist'! lol On the internet though...I have. And I admit that I can get quite heated....but I never come out of the blue with it! For example, another site I visit has a section called 'heated debates'...and that is exactly what you will find there - the most popular being ff vs bf - since the fact that breastfeeding is best, that cant really be debated...but everything else sure can. And even there, people have thrown about that comment (to complete strangers - like a complete stranger is really what made you decide to formula feed your baby! lol)! You cant win...no matter what you say. Every expectant mother here gets at least three baby 'packs'...including nipple cream and pads and lists of number/support groups etc... along with it though, you will find a sample packet of formula milk. So whilst those saying they ff because they were bombarded with it - you will also find bf complaining of all the advertising formula seems to be getting!

[Organicavocado]

Originally Posted by bobbirs

because they want an excuse for FF. That is the only thing I can think of...like they wanted to FF in the beginning and that is their excuse now for doing it!

Bobbi

...and throw in a kick in the rear to lactivists for good measure to cover up the guilt.