A couple of months before my daughter was born (10 days ago), my little sister moved to live about 90 minutes from me. We hadn't lived near each other in about 10 years. I was so excited when she, her husband, and their son moved to live near enough to see every month or so. We live in a place that is far from most people. I have one friend who lives nearby--but she's got 3 boys and is 7 months pregnant herself. This friend had offered to take our older daughter when it came time to go to the hospital. My sister also offered to come to our place and watch her.
Well it turned out that on the day I started having labor my friend had an adult dinner party to attend. My little sister said she would come when I said the word. I was hesitant because they don't have a lot of money--and gas and tolls aren't cheap. But, she offered, so I accepted her help. Of course, my labor stalled and we thought I wouldn't have the baby that day. After dinner, though, my water broke. I was GBS+ so I went to the hospital ASAP. I was happy she was there to help.
My labor didn't start on its own. At 1 pm the next day we started pitocin. My sister had brought my older daughter to the hospital to see me--because she's not used to being away from me, let alone for a whole day and overnight! About 3 hours later my little sister called me telling me that my daughter was being aggresive with her son and that they really needed to go home now. Meanwhile I am in serious labor. My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. I was coming into the truely painful part of labor. But, I wasn't sure that my sister (who is also 32 weeks pregnant) would be able to handle the situation. My daughter is NOT an aggressive child, but given the strange situation with my husband and me being gone and her knowing big changes were coming, I felt like I had to do something.
I called my friend who said she'd gladly take her. So, my husband left the hospital, went about 10 minutes to our apartment, got our daughter and brought her 20 miles over a toll bridge, then rushed back to me. This was during RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC. It took him 90 minutes to get back.
The whole time he was gone I was in really hard labor--with no support whatsoever! My friend called my cell phone (which I couldn't get to because I was attached to an antibiotic drip AND a monitor cart thing) and left me a message saying that my older daughter was really distraught and wanted to know if I could talk to her. I could barely talk myself into keeping my cool through contractions. Once the nurse came in and brought me my phone and i heard that message--I just broke down in emotional tears. My poor baby was completely messed up from being shuffled all over! But I couldn't call her back! I just couldn't. I sat there laboring through really hard pitocin contractions cursing my sister for being so selfish and being incapable of following through on ANYTHING in her life!
Then I started to feel like I need to go poo. I knew this meant something. That, along with the sudden shaking and feeling SO COLD, I knew it was almost time. I called my husband's cell phone and pleaded with him to hurry! He did make it about half an hour before the baby was born. I just melted down when he got there. I can't help but feel like if he had never left I would have been able to hold it together more--and not be so angry in the last 20 minutes of my really fast, really hard labor.
After my husband went back to my friend's house to get our daughter (she wasn't even there 2 hours) he brought her back to the hospital to see her new sister, then they went home. He saw in my sister's blog a whole pity party about how she just couldn't manage to take care of two children. She said that my daughter had tried to break her son's arm. Then she whined about the fact that she just couldn't bring herself to clean up the messes she's made in my house (think half full pan of food left on the stove and dishes all over the table!) and just left. Someone had commented on her post saying that my child was a PSYCHO--and she never said anything to refute what this person had said. My child is the sweetest, most empathetic kid. Even if she was super stressed, I know for a fact that she would never hurt someone intentionally.
It's been 10 days. She hasn't called me to say anything. She called and whined to my mother that I never called her to tell her the baby was born. She did comment on a post in my blog saying, "Well, if I'd known it was only going to be 2 more hours I would have stayed!". Not so much as an apology! I mean, how on earth am I supposed to know it's going to be 2 or 10 hours!?
I have no idea how to deal with this situation. I don't want to not speak to my sister again. But my whole adult life I've been cleaning up her messes, doing huge things for her, trying to open amazing doors for her, driving 20 hours to pick her up off the corner because her internet boyfriend didn't want her there anymore... and she can't even stay at my house for 24 hours when SHE OFFERED!?!?
What would you do?
Well it turned out that on the day I started having labor my friend had an adult dinner party to attend. My little sister said she would come when I said the word. I was hesitant because they don't have a lot of money--and gas and tolls aren't cheap. But, she offered, so I accepted her help. Of course, my labor stalled and we thought I wouldn't have the baby that day. After dinner, though, my water broke. I was GBS+ so I went to the hospital ASAP. I was happy she was there to help.
My labor didn't start on its own. At 1 pm the next day we started pitocin. My sister had brought my older daughter to the hospital to see me--because she's not used to being away from me, let alone for a whole day and overnight! About 3 hours later my little sister called me telling me that my daughter was being aggresive with her son and that they really needed to go home now. Meanwhile I am in serious labor. My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. I was coming into the truely painful part of labor. But, I wasn't sure that my sister (who is also 32 weeks pregnant) would be able to handle the situation. My daughter is NOT an aggressive child, but given the strange situation with my husband and me being gone and her knowing big changes were coming, I felt like I had to do something.
I called my friend who said she'd gladly take her. So, my husband left the hospital, went about 10 minutes to our apartment, got our daughter and brought her 20 miles over a toll bridge, then rushed back to me. This was during RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC. It took him 90 minutes to get back.
The whole time he was gone I was in really hard labor--with no support whatsoever! My friend called my cell phone (which I couldn't get to because I was attached to an antibiotic drip AND a monitor cart thing) and left me a message saying that my older daughter was really distraught and wanted to know if I could talk to her. I could barely talk myself into keeping my cool through contractions. Once the nurse came in and brought me my phone and i heard that message--I just broke down in emotional tears. My poor baby was completely messed up from being shuffled all over! But I couldn't call her back! I just couldn't. I sat there laboring through really hard pitocin contractions cursing my sister for being so selfish and being incapable of following through on ANYTHING in her life!
Then I started to feel like I need to go poo. I knew this meant something. That, along with the sudden shaking and feeling SO COLD, I knew it was almost time. I called my husband's cell phone and pleaded with him to hurry! He did make it about half an hour before the baby was born. I just melted down when he got there. I can't help but feel like if he had never left I would have been able to hold it together more--and not be so angry in the last 20 minutes of my really fast, really hard labor.
After my husband went back to my friend's house to get our daughter (she wasn't even there 2 hours) he brought her back to the hospital to see her new sister, then they went home. He saw in my sister's blog a whole pity party about how she just couldn't manage to take care of two children. She said that my daughter had tried to break her son's arm. Then she whined about the fact that she just couldn't bring herself to clean up the messes she's made in my house (think half full pan of food left on the stove and dishes all over the table!) and just left. Someone had commented on her post saying that my child was a PSYCHO--and she never said anything to refute what this person had said. My child is the sweetest, most empathetic kid. Even if she was super stressed, I know for a fact that she would never hurt someone intentionally.
It's been 10 days. She hasn't called me to say anything. She called and whined to my mother that I never called her to tell her the baby was born. She did comment on a post in my blog saying, "Well, if I'd known it was only going to be 2 more hours I would have stayed!". Not so much as an apology! I mean, how on earth am I supposed to know it's going to be 2 or 10 hours!?
I have no idea how to deal with this situation. I don't want to not speak to my sister again. But my whole adult life I've been cleaning up her messes, doing huge things for her, trying to open amazing doors for her, driving 20 hours to pick her up off the corner because her internet boyfriend didn't want her there anymore... and she can't even stay at my house for 24 hours when SHE OFFERED!?!?
What would you do?
: and then some!
I am so sorry.
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