WWYD - quit job, or keep going for the money?

[avaylee]

Let me preface with... I can't stand my job. I ended up in a career by sheer chance, nothing related to my degree or anything I ever thought I would be doing.

That said... it makes me a fair amount of money. Since having DD, I have been working from home part-time. However, I still get all of the stressors of needing to be on their schedule, which is translating to nearly on-call. That means cutting playdates short, not planning for activities out, etc.

My DH has said that I don't have to be working, but that would mean making no more progress on our CC debt, no more paying extra on the mortgage, cutting out just about every other extra expense.

I'm not sure which would be more stressful... continuing to do the work and feeling guilty about the time I am not "with" DD because I ~have to get something done for work~, or worrying about our financial health.

We have enough in savings for a few months, which we would try and not touch but...

WWYD? Anyone been there, done that?
Thanks in advance for ideas and general impressions!

[Lissacamille]

Feel for you...

I have had this situation. If I were you, I'd quit. Although money is a factor, you don't HAVE to work, which could make the decision to quit easier.
Then there's a quality of life issue here. You're on call and unable to mother the way you want to. If you are on call, it should be to your child.
I don't know if you pray or not, but God has a marvelous way of answering our needs, so you may find yourself making those extra payments after all.
I am in the situation to where I found very meaningful employment as a musician and as a music teacher, and I work the hours I want to work. Take the initiative into your own hands and look at what you REALLY want to be doing (besides mothering) - I'm talking professionally. Do what you love and the money will come. It doesn't matter how much money either - too many people put stock into how much money someone makes, which is entirely meaningless. If you love growing herbs, grow them and sell them (just as an example). There's good, satisfactory work out there for you. You just have to figure out what it is.

[mightymoo]

It's a hard decision. However, its not an all or nothing proposition. For example, you could quit this job in the career you have now and get another part time job - it would pay less, but maybe stress you less and be a decent middle ground.

One comment I want to make is that you should not be paying down your mortgage if you have CC debt. I'm not sure if you made that statement because that is an eventual goal, rather than something you are doing now, but you definitely want to focus on your high interest debt over a low interest debt like a mortgage.

I think I would probably take a close look at the finances and try to figure out what state I'd need us to be in to feel comfortable staying at home. If that means CC debt gone, X months in savings, etc. And then I would cut all the expenses down to SAHM levels and throw as much of the part time income at that goal as possible.

[phathui5]

I'd like to recommend the book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey if you haven't read it already. Being worried about money sucks.

[Heather423]

I wouldn't quit. But that is just me... I WOH full-time and I hate it. I can never go on play dates, I am fortunate that my mom cares for DD (she doesn't drive, so no play dates for her either). I would love, love love love a part-time job that I could work at home, or even WOH part-time. That I think is the best of both worlds. Maybe next year for me.... Altho I would be a SAHM if my family could afford me to, but we just can't afford to live on one salary, but you also need money to go out places (second car, gas, playdate activities possibly) or you will drive yourself crazy staying in the house all day. I think there needs to be some sort of enjoyment.

[Noah's mommy]

I was sort of in your boat last year. I am a teacher as is dh. We live near DC in a high cost of living area-we need both our incomes to pay bills, mortgage, and have 2 cars. I was able to secure job share for this year and money is very, very tight-but that's less stressful then I thought it would be. I find I do the usual cost cutters-cook from scratch, find free activities, use the library, drive less, spend less, etc...and it makes a big difference. I enjoy being home. We can pay our essentials but the extras aren't there. We have a small amount of cc debt we transferred to a 0% card for 18 mos. That helps. I think you should quit if it is a matter of cutting "extras" because I don't think that is very stressful if you are happy with WHY you are doing it. I do think you should keep working if it is just basic needs though-stressing about paying a mortgage is scary.

[polyhymnia]

Can you plan an end to it? For example, if you keep working for 1 more year, will your CC debt be paid off? I always find things become more bearable with an end in sight..

[Om Girl]

What is your heart/gut instinct telling you?

[mtm]

I'd work like crazy for a year and pay all the cc debt and then stay home or try to find a different part time job in a field you'll enjoy more.

[obiandelismom]

Maybe you could try living on just your dh's income for the next few months, to see how it shakes out in real life? Meanwhile your whole paycheck could go toward the cc debt, and you could hopefully make a dent in it...

[mrskennedy]

*I* would get another job after working a certain amount of time (a year, say, as PP's have said) and quit this one when I had the new one all lined up. But finding that job might take a while, if you're looking for something completely flexible to be with DD.

Good luck!

Also agree with obiandelismom. It might not be as bad as you think to live on DH's income.

Along with this, join the no-spend challenge (it's not completely no spend, but more like just necessary spending). This will help you track all your spending so you know where it goes.

[BetsyS]

I quit my job. It means that we live on a tighter budget, we don't make as much headway on paying back debt (we have student loans), and there are very few extras.

It was worth it, though.

[mum4boys]

Boy your post could almost been written by me a year ago. I worked in Hell. It got to the point that on my way to work I would cry and throw up. Then a miracle happen. I was pregnant and got put on bedrest. I ended up quiting 2 or 3 days later. Sounds stupid but I gave up my maternity leave but as soon as I quit a million ton bricks came off my shoulder. There is no way we could make it one what dh makes. We had ran the numbers before but you know what we just did. We gave up everything. Our food budget went to $200 a month for a family of 7. For the most part it is wonderful. Money is very tight but we make it. In August we decided to home school 2 of our kids. I thought I might go back to work in the evenings so the dollar bill would stop squealing but instead I fell into this job working from home. I get to make my own hours. It is cool because I get to stay current in my field while being at home.

[2Sweeties1Angel]

I'd keep working but look for a different job. I don't like the thought of DH taking care of me in any way and that includes financially. After what we went through last year when we both lost our jobs, I realized that it's very important for us both to work in case one of us does lose our job. We need that back-up. Of course that didn't work out so well last year when we both became unemployed within 2 weeks of each other, but what are the odds of that happening again?

I hated being a SAHM, though. I'll always choose working and I'll always choose to WOH.

[beansmama]

I would quit after the debt was payed off, and i had 6 months living expenses in a savings. That way...it isnt so stressful on you! And i'm sure you can find ways to cut expenses so you can still put more on the mortgage! Good luck!

[SugarAndSun]

Originally Posted by obiandelismom

Maybe you could try living on just your dh's income for the next few months, to see how it shakes out in real life? Meanwhile your whole paycheck could go toward the cc debt, and you could hopefully make a dent in it...

This is a great idea imo. Then you will see how it "feels" to live with less while paying down some of your debt.

[LEAW]

Can you negotiate with your company for less hours? Do they value your services enough to do that? I'd offer 3 days AT work, and nothing at home, no on-call, OR 3 full days at home with on-call that had limits (like every Monday and Thursday from 8-1 is YOUR time to go out with the baby).

Do you have a payoff date for your debt? Can you have no cc/student loan debt in a year if you work like mad? Because THAT might be the difference between *really tight* and *doable* on one salary. And if you're motivated, you can find ways to squeeze a little extra cash from the budget, find OT, or sell stuff on ebay to make that payoff date sooner and sooner.

I'll tell you what we did, though it's not really applicable to your situation. The last year I worked (so probably 6 months) we banked every penny I made and lived on dh's salary, and when dd was born, I sah. We dumped 95% of that savings plus all his stocks and one "play" mutual fund (not a retirement account) on our debt. And he got a raise on top of COL that year.

That put us in a position of having some very manageable debt, a mortgage, and regular budget stuff. We're still paying down the debt, and at a much slower rate, but it's not hurting us. We keep a minimal amt. in our savings acct. for emergencies, and everything we can spare goes to getting that last debt paid off (student loan and car).

Good luck!

[MissLotus]

If it's at least financially possible and you are desirous of quitting, then quit. Your child is only young once. You can take on those financial loads later.

[avaylee]

Thank you everyone for the various perspectives. We're going to sit down this weekend and figure out what would be really truly doable, and re-evaluate our financial and familial goals, and see where we're at then.
Lots of food for thought here, and I'll be sending the thread to DH... I think he could use the additional perspective as well.
Oh to have this decided...

[KariM]

For me the decision ultimately came down to stress levels - and I didn't even have a little child at the time as my DS was 10.

But - when the stress of the job began to interfere with my ability to be a calm involved parent, I scrapped my career. It was a hard decision and one I questioned for probably 4 years afterward. I've only really come to terms with it recently and realized it *was* the best decision for me and my family and no longer wonder "what if..."