please rethink using the term Blessingway to describe your baby shower*new info*

[bellymama]

with all due respect and kindess, i would like to ask anyone considering using the term Blessingway to describe their baby shower to reconsider this.
in my town, lots of women choose to use this term because they wish to create a more spiritual celebration for their baby shower. this is a wonderful idea, and i think it should be done more. however, we need to use a more appropriate term to describe this.
the Blessingway is a very important part of the Dine (Navajo) tribes traditions. use of this word to describe anything but the actual ceremonies performed by members of this tribe is very disrespectful.
i doubt anyone who has used this term has ever intended to be offensive or disrespctful, so please don't think i am saying that. i just want to encourage you to create your own traditions rather than appropriating other traditions that already belong to other people.
Mother Blessing
Baby Blessing
Way of Blessing
Blessing the Way
any combination of these would suffice to symbolize what your intentions are without taking something from someone else.we can be influenced, inspired etc. by traditions and cultures outside our own, but i think we have a responsibility to be respectful of the original tradition and culture that we are influenced and inspired by.



http://pregnancy.about.com/gi/dynami...%2F4-1pg2.html

scroll down to see the added footnote

"1. In 2004, Native feminists wrote us to request that the term 'Blessingway' no longer be used to describe non-Navajo prenatal ceremonies such as the one described in this article. They explained that the term 'Blessingway' refers to a sacred spiritual ceremony performed by the Navajo people to celebrate rites of passage that occur throughout the entire life cycle, and not only the passage into motherhood. They suggested the term 'Mother Blessing' was a more appropriate term for a ceremony that was influenced, and respectful, of this tradition, but not practiced in accordance with the Navajo faith and culture. We completely agree.

Out of repect for the great history and importance of the Blessingway to Navajo people, many doulas, midwives and mothers now use the term 'Mother Blessing' to denote the celebration outlined in this article -- a practice we have also adopted."

Edited on 11/11/07 to add new information:
many people have said that their blessingway's are NOT based on the Dine's...well i have been looking around at all the many many many Blessingway website's and EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY one says that the "new blessingway" is based on the Dine's Blessingway.

http://www.mother-care.ca/blessing.htm http://www.preggiepeggy.com/blessingway.htm
http://www.mothering.com/articles/pr...blessings.html
http://www.naturaltouchdoula.com/blessingway.php
http://www.alternamoms.com/blessingway.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blessingway
http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/blessingway.html
http://thebirthsource.homestead.com/blessingway.html
http://www.doubletongued.org/index.p.../blessing_way/
http://www.timelessspirit.com/SEPT04/grace.shtml
http://www.castingcreationsbellycasts.com/gpage4.html
http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=667
it's not even arguable that the "new blessing ways" are not directly influenced from the Dine'
Blessing Way.

also, i have been communicating with a Dine Medicine Woman for the last week or so, and i have shared with her the link to this thread and also the many website's describing exactly what the "new blessingway" entails. she has given me permission to share this with you:

I am a Dine' Medicine Woman who is infuriated by what I have heard! These women have NO idea what they are doing! The Blessing Way is an ancient Ritual that, yes is used to welcome children into the world, but by far, that is NOT it's only use, but just one of many of it's functions. I am not permitted to explain the many times we use Blessing way in ritual, but some of the rituals would be surprising for those not of the Dine'. Anyone not of the Dine' people should not be using our Sacred rituals bastardized in such a way for their own idealized mentality - it is more dangerous then they could possibly realize. We have certain "spiritual safeguards" on protecting our Old Ways & what is misused or misappropriated would have dire consequences for those who try to take what is sacred to us & is not of their people, but of the Dine'. To place this upon innocent babies is an anathema With much thanks, Firewolf

[steph117]

Interesting post, bellymama! I hadn't actually heard "blessingway" - but I certainly wouldn't use it now, having read this! Thanks for sharing the information - you're right, I'm sure many mamas just don't know of the Navajo tradition.

[bellymama]

Originally Posted by steph117

Interesting post, bellymama! I hadn't actually heard "blessingway" - but I certainly wouldn't use it now, having read this! Thanks for sharing the information - you're right, I'm sure many mamas just don't know of the Navajo tradition.

absolutely! its a matter of just not realizing, i think.
the women i have talked about this with that live by me had no idea that the term had been adopted from the Dineh tradition. most of them were very willing to rethink the term they used to describe their baby shower.
i think that it is an awesome idea to go beyond the "baby shower" and make it a celebration/blessing for the mother and her unborn child...borrowing certain concepts and ideas are not bad in themselves...cultures are not static, and many things are the result of two different traditions melding together...
as a dancer, i do a lot of "world fusion" dancing...i borrow what i like from many styles of dance, ranging from bellydance, flamenco, indian classical, african etc etc...but i make sure i know about the individual dance form before i fuse it with something else...i make sure that i am not being disrespectful. you have to know about the original subject before you can respectfully create a new fusion.
so someone who learns about the Blessingway tradition and thinks "wow, this is an amazing way to view a womans life transformations, i would really like to incorporate this into my baby shower" isn't wrong to think that...its more that simply calling it a Blessingway is unnacceptable. because the only Blessingway there is, is the ACTUAL Blessingway done by the Dineh...the songs they sing, the people involved, the spiritual meaning all must be included for it to TRULY be a Blessingway.
otherwise it is a Baby or Mother Blessing. no less important to the person performing it or having it bestowed on them...just different.
just like you can't simply call pouring water on a baby's head a Catholic Baptism...you need the Catholic priest, the water blessed by the priest, the words that are said over the baby etc etc. a person could bless their baby with water and it would be no less meaninful or spiritual, it just WOULDN"T BE A CATHOLIC BAPTISM...so calling it that would be ridiculous.
i hope this makes sense.

[pixiesmommy]

Thank you for this post. Things like this are very near and dear to my heart since my daughter has Native American heritage from her father's side of the family (although her bio father has never MET her.)

Respect for Native American peoples is a BIG BIG deal in my home and I struggle to stay informed of things like this so I am not inadvertently disrespectful and she grows up with some sense of heritage and respect for that part of her background.

I will certainly make it a point to correct this term now as I hear it.

Manda

[diamond lil]

I learn something new here every day. Thank you for posting.

[hubris]

Thank you for the reminder. It was because of outspoken MDC mamas like you that I learned to be more sensitive about blessingways, which ultimately led me to ask my co-hostess at a baby shower last summer to refer to our special ceremony as a mother blessing and not a blessingway.

[Irishcupcake]

Something else I didn't even know I didn't know! Thanks for the info...I've never heard the term, but I appreciate being made aware of the world around me!

[supakitty]

Wow, I thought this subject had been covered extensively at MDC already.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ht=blessingway

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by supakitty

Wow, I thought this subject had been covered extensively at MDC already.

It certainly was (interesting thread... I'm only on page 2), but that's no reason not to post about it here, to a very specific audience.

[bellymama]

Originally Posted by blizzard_babe

It certainly was (interesting thread... I'm only on page 2), but that's no reason not to post about it here, to a very specific audience.

thanks. i know it has been said before, but new people come here everyday and i think this (and the many other topics that tend to repeat as new mothers go through the stages of being a mom) are worthy of being revisited time and time again.

[rabrog]

****

[MamaHen2J&J]

I've never heard of a baby shower being refered to as such, but I have to agree!

[Dea]

well said and so important.
thank you.

[Ironica]

That's fascinating. I had no idea that the Navajo used English words to refer to their sacred rituals.

[Phantaja]

Originally Posted by supakitty

Wow, I thought this subject had been covered extensively at MDC already.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ht=blessingway

But what about guests or people who don't have enough posts to access TAO?

[Mothra]

Thank you for posting this.

[Carlin]

Originally Posted by Ironica

That's fascinating. I had no idea that the Navajo used English words to refer to their sacred rituals.

Sorry,

I totally agree that respect for our continent's first peoples is of utmost importance, and not a laughing matter...

but Ironica, that just cracked me up 'cause it's the first thing that crossed my mind too. You certainly chose an appropriate user name.

After a quick seach, it appears that Hózhójí is the correct word? Does anyone know if this is correct, and how it is pronounced?

The little bit of reading I've done on the subject is fascinating. It seems to be a much more far reaching ceremony than that which has been adapted as a mother blessing.

[Ironica]

Originally Posted by Carlin

I totally agree that respect for our continents first peoples' is of utmost importance, and not a lauging matter...

but Ironica, that just cracked me up 'cause it's the first thing that crossed my mind too. You certainly chose an appropriate user name.

After a quick seach, it appears that Hózhójí is the correct word? Does anyone know if this is correct, and how it is pronounced?

Thanks for the compliment ;-).

I also agree that it's very important to be respectful of the rituals and traditions of all cultures (heck, I was very much raised that way... my father was a professional historian specializing in early California and Los Angeles). But seriously, would I offend Jews if I told my son he was law-abiding on his 13th birthday? Or Mexicans if I threw a "fifteen party" for my daughter? I sure hope not!

It seems like it would make some sense to say "Hey, did y'all who are using this word know what it comes from? Here's more information about the ritual... much bigger than having a baby!" and then let people decide if they want to make their "blessingway" more like the Navajo ritual that the term is based on, or if they want to change the name, or if they really don't care. But I don't get why someone else using the same words for what they're doing would be *offensive,* unless the activity itself is offensive in some way. Maybe the inclusion in my best friend's wedding of an adaptation of a Native American rite involving drinking from a two-mouthed goblet with an image of Cocopelis on it was offensive, too. Sad, since she was simply trying to *honor* her American heritage.

[mama_nomad]

Originally Posted by MamaHen2J&J

I've never heard of a baby shower being refered to as such, but I have to agree!

actually i don't think most people use blessingway/motherblessing and baby showers interchangably--one is mother-focused and celebratory/support-building and the other is baby-centered and material-driven.

that being said, i have been aware of this before and have been trying to transition form blessingway to mother-blessing...but i am not busting a nut over it so to speak: this is only b/c i know (read somewhere) that navajos themselves have requested this and after how it went down for them, i AT LEAST owe them that, yes? i know some people think its not a huge deal...but i am not out to disrespect a group that gave us all a really great idea about how to honor a woman about to pass through into motherhood. ykwim? hope this thread doesn't get yucky like the last ones!

[gingerbane]

It is very important to respect this about the Navajo culture and community but why do Navajo people not just use the original word from the Navajo language? Or do they, and non-Navajo people use "blessingway" because we don't know/can't pronounce the original word? It just seems odd to me. I mean we all say Bar Mitzvah and not it's English translation, "son of the commandment" and we say cinco de mayo not "5th of May" and Hannukah not "dedication" and on and on.

I'm a huge advocate of cultural appropriateness. But why use the non-cultural term for something and then ask everyone to keep it only in the culture? It doesn't make sense to me.