picky eaters costing too much

[meowee]

Has anyone struggled with spending too much on groceries to feed picky eaters?

Did you successfully put your foot down and stop spending to feed their habit? Did they starve? Or did they eventually comply and eat what was available?

I cannot figure out where to draw the line. All my kids are thin (two are skin and bones) and they are all insanely picky. If they were not so picky I could feed them on under $100 a week. As it stands I am spending twice that and more.

They only want packaged/ frozen foods and will not eat homemade.

Has anyone BTDT?

[A&A]

I was a picky eater. Still am. But I don't understand them preferring packaged over homemade all of the time........have they always been brought up that way?

[ediesmom]

my youngest dd is a picky one. her father feeds her packaged/convenience/fast foods so she has a palate for them. At our house only Annies exists as one of those. SOoooo...... I have chosen a few of the things non prepackaged/convenience/fast (except for Annies on occasion)that she WILL eat, and thats what is offered ONLY. No games no waste.

I have food allergies (gluten) so I basically have to cook two meals any way. She is offered my meal, along with hers, but rarely (meaning never) takes me up on that. I prefer to spend my money on a great multi and some supplements which are strictly enforced.

I absolutely refuse to play the food game with her. Its exhausting emotionally for me, and I really think that it might mess her up later if we fight too hard about it.

I DO do a lot of food/health education talk. It pi$$@s her off, but.........

I know its frustrating AND expensive to have a picky eater. Good luck.

[annekevdbroek]

DS1 is skin and bones thin (the baby's 9 month size shorts fit DS1 who is 4 1/2). He is a picky eater. We don't do much packaged food - although he does like that stuff. What he can choose from when he doesn't want what I made is 1) cold cereal 2) eggs. Both are relatively inexpensive and quick/easy to make. Lately I've been refusing even to prepare the cereal/eggs if I expect that he will like what I cook - and eventually he settled down and eats what is at the table. Putting my foot down has somewhat broadened what he'll eat, in other words.

[Thystle]

Are you positive it is picky eating and NOT sensory issue related?


Just be sure.


You could make a list of the things they will eat, and find ways to make those better.

You ALL agree to it and post it.


-or-


Make the healthy meal and say it's this or PB&J (or other higher nutrition food).

Then don't back down.


-or-

Try to involve them more for fun... see if they enjoy it more if they help. Pick out new kids cookbooks together and fun cutting tools.


-or-

Tell them if they want something else THEY have to cook it.




Basically you have to remember you ARE the parent. You can be nice and work with them... but you still in the end buy the food.

Just be sensitive to sensory or anxiety issues... THOSE are a WHOLE other issues and not related to "picky" eating.

[Thystle]

Just realize that if they have been in a "habit" it's going to take awhile.... especially bad habits formed around food. It deals with a ton of receptors in the brain and many bad foods cause "pleasure" that is actually addictive.



It's not easy to break and some you may never be able to break.



And food wars can cause eating issues. Which can be there for a lifetime.

[meowee]

Originally Posted by A&A

I was a picky eater. Still am. But I don't understand them preferring packaged over homemade all of the time........have they always been brought up that way?

I am a picky eater too, and I will cater to them within reason. I have always cooked but they always prefer packaged stuff to homemade. For one thing, everything out of a package looks identical. they don't like for each individual piece of food to have any variation in shape or color.

[meowee]

ediesmom,what is the "food game?" Does that mean catering to them or not catering to them?

[meowee]

Originally Posted by Thystle

Are you positive it is picky eating and NOT sensory issue related?

It is sensory with my son and less so with 1 daughter. But, I cannot afford to feed them like this. Within reason I will cater to them-- I mean I won't expect them to eat dandelion leaves or anything. But homemade cookies as opposed to packaged, or toast with homemade bread, as opposed to slice bread... that i think is very reasonable.

Make the healthy meal and say it's this or PB&J (or other higher nutrition food).

They don't even eat P&J . My pickiest used to eat peanut butter on toast. My hope is that he'll return to that once the packaged food is worked through (I'm not going to buy any more, but I'm not going to throw out what we have).

Try to involve them more for fun... see if they enjoy it more if they help. Pick out new kids cookbooks together and fun cutting tools.

Tried that... ... they love to help cook but won't touch what is produced.

Just be sensitive to sensory or anxiety issues... THOSE are a WHOLE other issues and not related to "picky" eating.[/B]

It's all jumbled up. I know my son can eat more than what he is right now. Like I said I'm not expecting them to eat anything unusual, exotic, or sensorily offensive. But it can't continue this way, it's no longer an option. We don't have the money for the grocery bill.

[meowee]

Originally Posted by Thystle

Just realize that if they have been in a "habit" it's going to take awhile.... especially bad habits formed around food. It deals with a ton of receptors in the brain and many bad foods cause "pleasure" that is actually addictive.



It's not easy to break and some you may never be able to break.



And food wars can cause eating issues. Which can be there for a lifetime.

Yes, yes... this is why I have indulged them for so long. My initial approach was no fighting about food, let them eat as much as they want, when they want, what they want... but we don't have the money for this.

I'm happy to make homemade cookies and treats. I'm happy for them to eat unlimited portions. I'm happy for them to eat omni (I am vegan). I will never force them to eat stuff I think is healthy. but the packaged and frozen stuff is breaking the bank. They're going to have to adjust.

I think what I will tell them is, "We have XXX amount to spend on food each week. Here is the grocery list and this is what I can cook from it. If you have suggestions, go ahead, but nothing packaged or frozen can be purchased anymore. This is a financial reality."

[Thystle]

Hun if it is sensory/feeding issue related......... ANYTHING can be "offensive" to them!


My DH, oldest and middle son all have sensory food issues. DS5 has extreme ones and my baby has severe food allergies.

We also do not eat "white" flours, sugars, HFCS, etc... and try to keep to whole/unpackaged/no sugar/traditional type foods. Plus we have to be COMPLETELY peanut/treenut + others free in the house. :






Sensory feeding issues are NOT the same as being picky! They can't help it, and some WOULD gladly starve.

I have one that only likes plain and bland colored foods. :




Sizes.... you can do more to make everything the same size. Roll the cookies and use cutters. Makes them "even".

List everything pacaked they like and brainstorm ideas to replace OR add nutrition to them.

Find a couple things that are not so bad and just let them eat those.




Sometimes you just have to give in a tad, and do what you can to supplement.


If some foods they will eat and not waste and fight you over... maybe for your sanity and wallet you should let a few slide????





Post some of the things they like... lets see if we can help!!!

[meowee]

The current blow-by-blow: as it stands there is 3/4 package of frozen chicken nuggets in the freezer, 1 loaf of packaged bread, 2 plastic-wrapped packs of sugar coated chocolate graham crackers, 1 bag of min-bagels, and 3/4 box of cheez-its. Once it's gone, it's gone!

I have enough flour to cook dozens of loaves of bread, a few batches of cookies, pancakes, waffles, cornbread... we have cereal, oatmeal, fruits, veggies, and juice. Eventually they will have to dip into the real stuff. The clock is ticking...

[Thystle]

Originally Posted by meowee

The current blow-by-blow: as it stands there is 3/4 package of frozen chicken nuggets in the freezer, 1 loaf of packaged bread, 2 plastic-wrapped packs of sugar coated chocolate graham crackers, 1 bag of min-bagels, and 3/4 box of cheez-its. Once it's gone, it's gone!

I have enough flour to cook dozens of loaves of bread, a few batches of cookies, pancakes, waffles, cornbread... we have cereal, oatmeal, fruits, veggies, and juice. Eventually they will have to dip into the real stuff. The clock is ticking...

OK is it the taste or mostly even shapes?


You can cut even chicken nuggets with cookie cutters and make your own nuggets, or maybe budget for the "healthier" ones.


Healthier packaged bread? New bread recipe that mimicks softer store bread?


Homeade graham crackers are not hard to make, you could even dip them in "good" chocolate".


Will they eat anything on the mini bagels?


It is possible to make homade Cheezit type crackers. Or buy a healthier brand. If you cut even squares of cheese to fit on the tiny crackers... and said that was the only way they could have them?




.

[Montana Mom]

I have a ss who will sometimes tell me he hates things he usually eats (like mac and cheese!) He can make himself pbj. Generally, I serve a few things (main, bread, veggie, fruit) so that they don't "starve" if there is one thing on the table they don't like, or I let one choose the dinner before I start cooking.

[mtm]

Its hard when you just have the money. I have one gluten free and dairy free. I would just use up what you have and ask them to pick one or two things they want to get each week and then try to do the homemade version if you can afford it.

[wannabe]

meowee The current blow-by-blow: as it stands there is 3/4 package of frozen chicken nuggets in the freezer, 1 loaf of packaged bread, 2 plastic-wrapped packs of sugar coated chocolate graham crackers, 1 bag of min-bagels, and 3/4 box of cheez-its. Once it's gone, it's gone!

I have enough flour to cook dozens of loaves of bread, a few batches of cookies, pancakes, waffles, cornbread... we have cereal, oatmeal, fruits, veggies, and juice. Eventually they will have to dip into the real stuff. The clock is ticking...

Good for you!

There's no way I'd let them eat packaged foods all the time. No way on earth.

[straighthaircurly]

I feel your frustration. I have a kid with sensory issues and food can be a hassle. One thing I discovered with my son is he will actually eat a lot of foods if I find the right format. He won't eat anything that is mixed together so no casseroles, no sauces, no meat (even teeny tiny pieces in soup). His plate at dinner generally contains the same foods we eat but they are all kept separate as I cook so then he can choose which ones he'll eat. I have also found that he will eat vegies but only if I serve them frozen (yes, icy cold). I also find that butter and Parmesan cheese make a lot of things go down. I also understand the helping you cook but still not eating the food problem. My son helps shop for fresh vegies and helps prepare them but won't actually eat them (he will take a taste but them declares YUCK!).

Make a list of individual foods your kids will eat and see if you notice any patterns.

When the chicken nuggets are gone, keep the box and make your own to put in the box (where would parents be without a little trickery ). Check with a bakery near you to see if there is anyway they will slice your homemade bread for you and then you can package it in an old bread bag to complete the ruse.

Good luck!

[Leta]

What are sensory food issues?

[A&A]

Originally Posted by meowee

I am a picky eater too, and I will cater to them within reason. I have always cooked but they always prefer packaged stuff to homemade. For one thing, everything out of a package looks identical. they don't like for each individual piece of food to have any variation in shape or color.

Oh, this kind of sounds like an OCD thing. That's a tough one.

Leta, sensory food issues refer to the fact that perhaps the smell or texture is overwhelming their senses. I often gag on meat, for example.

BUT, in a way, all "picky eaters" have some sort of sensory issue--because taste is a sense, as well.

[ediesmom]

"the food game" for us was the 'i hate this' before she even tried it. I was going to lose ANY food fight, and might even have caused harm in the fighting. I wasn't willing to do it. So I chose the (very) few things that she enjoys and I prepare those every night. I do offer her other foods, but I never expect her to take me up on them. There is no expectation. No fight.

I don't want her to have any more food issues than she has. I purchase really good vitamins and supplements, and lots of water, and figure she will learn by example. I am a food nut. The prettier the colors, the happier I am. LOTS of veggies, lots of other really good, good for you, foods. She can eat the same old same old if thats her choice.

Its so strange because when she as learning to eat she ate what I ate, just ground up.....and loved it. After her father gaining visits and feeding her crap, she will no longer eat 'real food'.

Yeah, I worry, but I would worry more if eating was a negative experience. As it stands now mealtime isn't a nightmare and I know that I am doing the right thing for us.

My older daughter will eat almost anything......healthy. She even likes things that I don't enjoy. So I did okay with her, and we went through our food struggles.

Really, good luck. If mealtime is an angry nightmare you might want to give each of you a break. Make something you know he likes---even if its 7 nights a week----and back it up with supplements of what he isn't getting.