Got Poverty? - Page 2

[ediesmom]

well, I received the check yesterday.......

then I couldn't take it MY credit union, because I needed to grocery shop and I had a bounced check so it would have sucked up my grocery money, so I had to take it to the bank it was drawn on........which was an issue because it was MILES away and I didn't have bus fare or time to wait for the bus or walk because dd had to get picked up from school at 3.

so she had noodles for dinner, and I had chips (celiac disease- allergic to noodles)

then I had to walk, after my class, to the bank.....miles away, then bus to the grocery, then buss back home lugging the few groceries i could buy (carry).

I have always been under the poverty line, but I have never lived like this. I think this is why I am so floored and aware. I have such a greater understanding of poverty in its extreme. Time management skills are crucial. The amount of tim I spend finessing travel is amazing (and outrageous).

No, I have no intention of leaving the board that I serve on. We supply thousands of dollars yearly for heat for our community, as well as holiday help(so neighbors don't need to go into debt to have a gift or two for their children) as well as summer camp help. I am realizing how so incredibly important this is,,,,,,now more than ever. I am chair of the Fundraising Committee and can see that I want more money to reach more people. I think I may join the transportation committee to see if I can advocate for better public transport service.....or at least get a shuttle service going to the grocery weekly. Ah, the new found respect.

So, the check is cashed and the groceries purchased. Enough poverty drama for one day, I hope.

I think I need to say how much I respect that many of you have responded more than once. Facing poverty, even online, is really ugly. I am touched by the support and understanding. It really gives me that sense of 'solidarity' that I was talking about.

[loitering]

If the board expects you to buy anything for them, they really should be a heck of a lot more accomodating and just give you the cash up front, and then ask for the change and reciept. It's ridiculous that they would expect to get something "free" since you supposedly are. That attitude really does suck.

[MOM2ANSLEY]

I empathize with you. I do not live in poverty, but recall how it was for my mother and stepfather when I was a child/teenager...I guess statistically they were above poverty level b/c they were unable to get assistance most of the time. meals were ramen noodles, oatmeal, hotdogs. They got by.....but I never felt "below" b/c she was thrifty ( I lived with my grandparents but stayed with my mom her dh and their 3 kids, and my moms disabled sil each summer....all in a small singlewide mobile home)
I was aware they had less than me (being with my grandparents) but it was a happy home.... It bothers me when people are prejudiced b/c of where you live....dh and I make over double of our areas mean income , yet we live in a mobile home.....could be in a 3000 sf home, but what would it prove???? Sorry to ramble, I have friends that struggle to make ends meet and I have friends married to lawyers. It just P's me off when money is who you are. the lady who babysat my sis and brothers had a house with a dirt floor, but was a wonderfull person, god bless her soul she passed last week. Money doesn't matter. rambling again.....Perhaps you need to inform the board members that poverty isn't contagious, perhaps their wealth is; and you plan on sticking around to find out.

[Em T]

Has anyone posting in this thread read "Changing the Bully that Rules the World" by Carol Bly? Reviews sound like it may have applicable food for thought on this subject.

[gargirl]

Yeah, this kind of crap is so common.

When I was poor and on welfare etc. I too felt discriminated against. My son's teacher, nurses, doctors even folks at the WIC office. It seemed like everyone who knew would talk down to me like I didn't have a brain in my head and they always assumed there were no books in my home... uh, what? Even back then I must have had a few hundred. Give me a break.

I am so sorry you are going through this, but you are so not alone. *hugs*

[Petersmamma]

Originally Posted by katheek77

Statisitically (and don't flame me, these are statistics), the lower your SAT score (and, I suppose, people *ass*ume your IQ) the more likely you are to be a lower-income earner.

I haven't read all the replies yet, so I'm not sure if this has been pointed out, but statistically speaking the ONLY thing that a high SAT score indicates is higher income level. It doesn't actually speak to intelligence or future (or past, for that matter) performance or potential. This is why colleges are beginning to devalue SAT scores (and thank goodness for that!). Of course, they are then valuing extracurriculars more highly, which, if you are low income, are hard to afford, so it's a nice cycle.

[Petersmamma]

Ok, so now I have read all the replies

OP, you sound like a kick-a$$ chick! I think you rock and you will change the world.

I have never lived in extreme poverty, but my 27 years on this planet have ALL been consumed with the idea that we don't have "enough" money, whatever that means. There have been times when I definitely had "enough" and didn't realize it (these were after I was on my own), and there have been times when I didn't have "enough" and yet still didn't qualify for social services (because I make too much to qualify for CHIP, but can't afford the $100 a month for the crappiest private health care plan for ONLY my ds). It's pretty hard living in that in between place, too. And I think that people in that place DO tend to look down on people who are even more poor than they are, out of fear.

I also think it's really easy to forget just how easily we can ALL be sitting in a class "earning" our welfare check, and I think that is a shame. For me, I know EVERY DAY just how lucky I am, and also how precarious my situation is. I just hope that helps make me a fighter, like you.

[ediesmom]

I so needed to be called a kick @$$ mama today

Em T, I put the book on hold at the library, can't wait to read it.
You know, as hard as this is I really want to experience it. The new found respect for this level of poverty is inspiring me to do something. And I thrive on doing something. There is a poverty conference on monday that I signed up for. I don't have classes on monday and can do some homework on the ride up. Ive always felt like I had something to say about poverty, but never as much as i do now.

I wrote out a really powerful (I hope) fundraising letter today for the org. that I serve on the board. I am looking forward to seeing what response from the community we get this year. And I think that giving out the money is going to be so edifying now that I have been virtually destitute. We have always had a 'low barrier' spin on it, I will be more respectful of what that means.

Really fabulous inspiring dialogue here, mamas. I love this level of openness and acceptance all around. I think my new mantra for this period in my life is definitely going to be (as previously noted) solidarity not charity. This dialogue is better for my emotional help throughout this than any charity or welfare I've received (except for the frontline from an MDC mama.....that rocked!)

[AsYouWish]

DP and I are at a place that we aren't really making ends meet very well anymore. Well, I guess we are, but barely, because the bills are getting paid, just late sometimes. Our situation has required a whole new level of frugality and planning which can be grueling and exciting at the same time, like I try to make a game of it in my head about how creative we can be to get here or there with this amount of gas or how to come up with extra cash to pay bills. Here's what I didn't expect, which was touched on by the OP: being poor is really, really time consuming. We don't have any public trans where I live, and a lot of our business takes place in a larger city 15 miles from here and I go to school about 10 miles in the same direction. If I have to take care of something after class or in the evening in the larger city, I have to plan to be away from home all day, because we can't afford for me to drive the 10 miles home from school only to head out again later and drive 15 miles to the bigger city and then 15 miles home again. I have to pack food and water for myself (and sometimes DP) for the whole day, along with a change of clothes depending on what's going on, along with all my books so I can study whatever I need to study during down time, as well as bring whatever I need to bring for whatever business we are taking care of to begin with, plus I have to bring my dog and all of his stuff for the day (his bin with food, water, and toys, his blankets, poop bags, treat bag, etc.). I can't just go, because I can't pop in anywhere for a bite to eat or a snack because we can't afford it. And I can never, never forget anything, because we really can't afford for me to drive back and get it. It's crazy!! The same level of planning goes into just about every aspect of our life now, and just sucks time away.

So far, OP, I haven't been confronted with the classist attitudes by people in my community, probably because we don't "look" or "sound" like they probably think "poor people" should : , but I sure have felt it from my own family, and one family member in particular. If anything, I'm trying to use this phase of our life (and I do hope it is only a phase : ) as a tool of personal growth and as hopefully a means of educating those around me. You've inspired me to really try to embrace this attitude. *HUGS* to you.

[Thystle]

Originally Posted by ediesmom

Thank you for the hugs. I think I'll need them.

I slept on some of the responses.....because I was so incredulous and angry. But I am awake now, and no less grumpy.

A few of of you mamas suggested that I use cash the next time I purchase for the Org. if I expect a reimbursement. While I sympathize with the logic, I must point out that I live in extreme POVERTY, and did not have actual cash available.

I am sure that you didn't mean to be dismissive about my poverty, but I am offended nonetheless. Maybe people living in poverty really shouldn't be in a civic leadership position if they have to use food stamps? Maybe if you are so poor your voice should be silenced? Maybe I am not an effective advocate for the other people living in poverty in my community? Maybe someone who uses an EBT card instead of a Platinum Visa should just accept that she is powerless, because money is the only true power?

I really DO appreciate all the support on this thread. I am just so offended that even mommas that I feel a close kinship with are blindly prejudice against poverty, and therefore, ME.

Poverty is an issue that people really need to think (and feel) about. We NEED solidarity, not charity.

I hope you are not still feeling this way. I think this was said because of this quote of yours:

Originally Posted by ediesmom

I had never thought of the legalities of the FS reimbursement issue. Its a good point, and I would take a grocery GC. I m just behind, now, in my food budget and making it up means spending cash meant for (precious few) other things.

Which made some believe you did have some cash, and they were just stating the only real answer they had.

I also hope you realize that one of the mama's who said it is in the Lower Income Moms thread with you and she is recieving assistance also.




I have seen the lowest of the lows too including being homeless with my mom as a kid and dumpster diving for dinner.

A good friend of mine is going through almost the same thing as you right now.

I am glad you don't just lay there and take it!




But I may gently suggest that it's not these momma's that you are really mad at... since most of the people responding on this thread are in the same boat as you.


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }}


The Traditional Foods/ NT forum is AWESOME for all of us dealing with no grain/no gluten/lowcarb/diabetic/healing/etc... foods naturally.



Keep positive (or mad at the right people/system) and maybe one day we will see you ruling the world!





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[mum4boys]

Originally Posted by katheek77

Statisitically (and don't flame me, these are statistics), the lower your SAT score (and, I suppose, people *ass*ume your IQ) the more likely you are to be a lower-income earner.

I would like to see those stats. The only thing the SAT shows is how well you will do your freshman year of college nothing else.

[ediesmom]

Oh, I wasn't mad at any of the mamas here. thats a rare occurance.

I should have noted that money comes in small chunks. At the time of purchase I didn't have actual cash. I get a VERY small check weekly.But that is always spent before it arrives.

I plan to remain as angry on this issue as it takes to make people aware (positively angry, KWIM). I truly in my heart believe that NOONE needs to not have what they need. And I also believe truly that those of us struggling for what we need don't have to be looked down on....by anyone.

As another mama noted... I don't LOOK like a poor person. I think it knocks people for a loop when they discover I live in extreme poverty. I think it is insulting to them in some way. I used the word 'fraud' at one point in my posts. I feel they see me as a fraud. Pretending to be like them, when in fact I am (in their minds) less than them. How can someone living on section 8, getting food stamps, riding the bus.....be such a presence? So hard working? I think in their minds poor people aren't involved civically, don't serve on boards, don't fight to make changes.

I heard a story from a sociology student. His professor told of a very successful sociologist who went 'undercover' as a homeless man. Throughout his 'experiment' this man was so incapable of not internalizing the abuse of being homeless that it destroyed him. He couldn't pull himself out of the abuse inflicted on him. THAT is what my fear is.

I am a social work major.. My goal is to go to grad school for public policy when i graduate. I don't know if that matters.....to me or anyone.